Need to Vent a bit

[Music4Hym777]

Hey Everyone,

So I was doing my map out of my classes today like my advisor said that I should do (not a geographical map, but of what classes I am going to take in what semester to know how to get done). Whell, I did it and inorder to graduate, I have to take 18 or 19 credits a semester, this isn't that big of a deal to me, but my parents are flipping out. They are telling me that I will never succeed, that my eating disorder will come back, and that I will lose my scholarship.

Then I just mentioned the word "seminary" and they freaked out saying that there is no way that I could ever be a pastor because not only am I a female, but I have to know how to win people to the church. Pastor/Pastoral Counseling or music have been the only things I have wanted to do since I was in 8th grade! Thats the only place I can see myself, and I dont seem to have the support of my parents in this.

I dont know why I am sooo frustrated, I even did a brand new map in which I would only be taking at the most 15 credits a semester, but thats not who I am, I am one that is the overachiever who finds pleasure in knowing that I am taking 21 credits this semester (this is the only semester that I will be taking above 19).

I just am frustrated, thanks for letting me rant!

Monica

 

[mnphysicist]

Is this your first semester? It might not be a bad idea to cool it the first time out. Back in my undergrad days, we could take 18 during the semester + 3 more during an interim period between semesters. That was pretty easy. I did 25 once I was used to it, and it was not a big deal at that time, but I had to get permission to do so. Starting out 1st semester with 21 unless you are including an interim class is immersion via a fire hose. Doable sure, but you need a little time to ramp up to proper time management and study habits. If it takes you 3-4 weeks to do so, its a bugger to get caught up. Otoh, if you ducks are in a row from the get go, its not a big deal. Plus.... most outfits let you drop a class up to 4 weeks in to it, should it be too much.

If you think you are up to it, give it a go, and don't feel bad if you have to drop a course once in a while. Just don't do what I did with geography. I was too busy, so I never studied, (we had no assigned homework, just tests) I managed to pull off a C+, but had I applied myself, I might have learned something, and have gotten a decent grade as well.

Ron

 

[SPALATIN]

Hey Everyone,

So I was doing my map out of my classes today like my advisor said that I should do (not a geographical map, but of what classes I am going to take in what semester to know how to get done). Whell, I did it and inorder to graduate, I have to take 18 or 19 credits a semester, this isn't that big of a deal to me, but my parents are flipping out. They are telling me that I will never succeed, that my eating disorder will come back, and that I will lose my scholarship.

Then I just mentioned the word "seminary" and they freaked out saying that there is no way that I could ever be a pastor because not only am I a female, but I have to know how to win people to the church. Pastor/Pastoral Counseling or music have been the only things I have wanted to do since I was in 8th grade! Thats the only place I can see myself, and I dont seem to have the support of my parents in this.

I dont know why I am sooo frustrated, I even did a brand new map in which I would only be taking at the most 15 credits a semester, but thats not who I am, I am one that is the overachiever who finds pleasure in knowing that I am taking 21 credits this semester (this is the only semester that I will be taking above 19).

I just am frustrated, thanks for letting me rant!

Monica

Monica,

This is a Rant-free zone. Doesn't cost you anything. I have a question regarding your parents. In some of your posts and even some of your PMs to me specifically, it seems as though you and they have a strained relationship. Do they not support you (not speaking about monetary support)? They left almost immediately after your surgery last month. Seems like you get more from your fiancees family than you do from your own.

Speaking from experience on college. 12-15 credits is about average. Anything more and you will be taxing yourself. You can always take some summer courses to get ahead if that is what you want to do. But if you overload yourself, the stress could bring back some dependencies that have plagued you in your recent past. My advice is to stay in the average and even take a light load after two very high loads. there is no rule that says you have to do this in 4 years unless you are heavily driven. You will need an occasional break every now and again.

I think you will find that 15 credits is a tough schedule to keep with. 18 credits will be, in my opinion, overload. Keep your stress level at a medium level and if you feel overwhelmed after a semester you might consider lightening up and delaying a class or two to let your mind and body catch up with each other. College should be enjoyed not rushed through. What's your hurry?

As for Seminary, tell your parents that it is not you who has to win them over, but the Holy Spirit's work. All you need to do is be there with the Word and be willing to serve.

 

[RedneckAnglican]

I'm with them (not the parents...the other posters)...I was a music major for 4 1/2 years of my college experence (yes...I kept changing my major...that's why I have YET to graduate)...music is a declared 5 year major and that is taking 18 or more hours a semester...it's VERY rough...you've already had a rough go of it...I will support you with prayer and everything else you tell me you need (within reason...I'm poor)...but I would only take 12 or so hours the first semester and make some up in the summer if you think you can handle it...trust me...it's the better way to go...

 

[Music4Hym777]

Is this your first semester? It might not be a bad idea to cool it the first time out. Back in my undergrad days, we could take 18 during the semester + 3 more during an interim period between semesters. That was pretty easy. I did 25 once I was used to it, and it was not a big deal at that time, but I had to get permission to do so. Starting out 1st semester with 21 unless you are including an interim class is immersion via a fire hose. Doable sure, but you need a little time to ramp up to proper time management and study habits. If it takes you 3-4 weeks to do so, its a bugger to get caught up. Otoh, if you ducks are in a row from the get go, its not a big deal. Plus.... most outfits let you drop a class up to 4 weeks in to it, should it be too much.

This is not my first semester, this is me returning for my sophomore year of college, I did take it easy my first year and am ready to pick up the pace, I find enjoyment in classes (except I cant seem to pass Calculus of Physics).

Monica,

This is a Rant-free zone. Doesn't cost you anything. I have a question regarding your parents. In some of your posts and even some of your PMs to me specifically, it seems as though you and they have a strained relationship. Do they not support you (not speaking about monetary support)? They left almost immediately after your surgery last month. Seems like you get more from your fiancees family than you do from your own.

My parents support me some, but they have their picture of the way I am supposed to spend the rest of my life. They want me to get my undergraduate degree in Nutritional Sciences, do the internship and pass my boards to become a Registerd Dietician, then go on to graduate school where I would get my masters and maybe a doctorate in Psychology, then for the rest of my life counsel adolescents, emphasis in eating disorders and drug abuse. They have their perfect dream for my life and whell, yes I could do that, I'm not sure that is where God wants me.

Speaking from experience on college. 12-15 credits is about average. Anything more and you will be taxing yourself. You can always take some summer courses to get ahead if that is what you want to do. But if you overload yourself, the stress could bring back some dependencies that have plagued you in your recent past. My advice is to stay in the average and even take a light load after two very high loads. there is no rule that says you have to do this in 4 years unless you are heavily driven. You will need an occasional break every now and again.

What I have noticed with those things that plaque me actually tend to come up when I am bored taking 21 credits will be a way to make sure that I am not bored. I am not worried about handling the work load, I can barely remember a time when I wasn't taking overload in school.

I think you will find that 15 credits is a tough schedule to keep with. 18 credits will be, in my opinion, overload. Keep your stress level at a medium level and if you feel overwhelmed after a semester you might consider lightening up and delaying a class or two to let your mind and body catch up with each other. College should be enjoyed not rushed through. What's your hurry?

Both my fiance and I are wanting to go to seminary after our undergrad, and there are NO Lutheran seminaries within a 500 mile radius of us. So we will be having to move in order to go and whell, it just makes it easier if we graduate at the same time.

As for Seminary, tell your parents that it is not you who has to win them over, but the Holy Spirit's work. All you need to do is be there with the Word and be willing to serve.

Thats what I am saying, but my parents try to use my fiances parents as examples and they hardly really know them!

 

[KagomeShuko]

Just keep praying, Mon. I have no doubt that you can take 18-19 credits, though it really is stressful. I took 22 credit-hours one semester (not the smartest move ever, but. . .). That was as much as I was ever allowed to take, couldn't go above that.

My parents used to HATE the idea of me being in Youth Ministry. I put in resumes for positions, I get interviews . . . and gee, they support that now.

I have no doubt my dad still wanted me to major in science (I majored in Mass Communications and minored in theater) and wanted me to be some inventor, doctor, or teacher (and teacher would be the only one that would've interested me. . and not in science). I know that my dad thought I was going to be a boy when my mom was pregnant. He still tries to get me to do the typical "father-son" stuff at times - and I hate it. I don't like working on my truck. I don't like going fishing. However, it's gotten better, anyway. . .he lets me be me a bit more. . .

So, I'm keeping you in my prayers as well.

Stein Auf!
Bridget

 

[PuppyforChrist]

What Bridget said.

I think you can handle 18-19 credits. Just keep praying and be strong in yourself and you can do it. I have confidence in you.

I know what you mean as far as parents. Mine don't really believe. My dad used to be Catholic, and my mom was brought up Lutheran. Thing is though, they didn't really support me at all when I accepted Christ. In fact when I told my mom I accepted Christ as my Savior, I told her. She asked me how, I told her I said the sinner's prayer and accepted him into my heart. She looked at me and started yelling at me. She told me that what I did would do nothing and I had to do more to accept him or rather get him to accept me.

Now, I don't know where my mother got that idea frankly. But she really doesn't support me at all. She only goes to church on rare occations and if I'm part of the service in like a play or Youth Sunday or something. My dad hasn't gone to church since I was born I think. And as far as I'm concerned he only goes at the Christmas Eve service since I accepted God into my heart and that's it. And he doesn't like to go. He won't sing the hymns, nor listen to the Pastor preach. He just sits there and is oblious to everything. (I've watched him once or twice).

Now, another example is sometimes I fight with my parents. (Really, what teenager doesn't?) But anyway, sometimes when I do, my parents both tell me that how I am acting is very "unChristian" and God would hate me if I continued to act out the way I was. Of course all this really offends me a great deal, but they really don't care.

I was and still am hurt so much by them. Especially during my past and present walk with Christ. I just wish that they would understand how important this is to me. Sometimes my mom refuses to take me to church because she doesn't feel like driving too. (I don't have my licence yet).

So I know a little bit of how you feel with the whole parental thing Monica.

 

[KagomeShuko]

I accepted Christ. I said the sinner's prayer and accepted him into my heart.

We don't do that, Kristen!

Jesus accepted YOU!

(I know you know this, really. I also understand what you're saying.)

Stein Auf!
Bridget

 

[Melethiel]

Lucky...I'm only allowed to take a maximum of 17 credits per semester. Which of course, being the overachiever that I am, I have completely filled up.

 

[KagomeShuko]

Lucky...I'm only allowed to take a maximum of 17 credits per semester. Which of course, being the overachiever that I am, I have completely filled up.

Are you already in college at 15? (Not impossible, I knew a guy who was in college by 15. . .and graduated in three years!)

Stein Auf!
Bridget

 

[Melethiel]

Are you already in college at 15? (Not impossible, I knew a guy who was in college by 15. . .and graduated in three years!)

Stein Auf!
Bridget

Eh...yeah. Doubling in Pipe Organ performance and Premed.

 

[KagomeShuko]

Eh...yeah. Doubling in Pipe Organ performance and Premed.

Wow! That's awesome! Woah. . .those are some majors. I don't think you need more than 17 with THOSE majors, melethiel!

Stein Auf!
Bridget

 

[Melethiel]

Wow! That's awesome! Woah. . .those are some majors. I don't think you need more than 17 with THOSE majors, melethiel!

Stein Auf!
Bridget

Yes I do...this means I can't take any electives until my senior year, because my schedule is filled with required classes! There goes intermediate Latin, beginning German, fencing...

 

[RedneckAnglican]

What Bridget said.

I think you can handle 18-19 credits. Just keep praying and be strong in yourself and you can do it. I have confidence in you.

I know what you mean as far as parents. Mine don't really believe. My dad used to be Catholic, and my mom was brought up Lutheran. Thing is though, they didn't really support me at all when I accepted Christ. In fact when I told my mom I accepted Christ as my Savior, I told her. She asked me how, I told her I said the sinner's prayer and accepted him into my heart. She looked at me and started yelling at me. She told me that what I did would do nothing and I had to do more to accept him or rather get him to accept me.

Now, I don't know where my mother got that idea frankly. But she really doesn't support me at all. She only goes to church on rare occations and if I'm part of the service in like a play or Youth Sunday or something. My dad hasn't gone to church since I was born I think. And as far as I'm concerned he only goes at the Christmas Eve service since I accepted God into my heart and that's it. And he doesn't like to go. He won't sing the hymns, nor listen to the Pastor preach. He just sits there and is oblious to everything. (I've watched him once or twice).

Now, another example is sometimes I fight with my parents. (Really, what teenager doesn't?) But anyway, sometimes when I do, my parents both tell me that how I am acting is very "unChristian" and God would hate me if I continued to act out the way I was. Of course all this really offends me a great deal, but they really don't care.

I was and still am hurt so much by them. Especially during my past and present walk with Christ. I just wish that they would understand how important this is to me. Sometimes my mom refuses to take me to church because she doesn't feel like driving too. (I don't have my licence yet).

So I know a little bit of how you feel with the whole parental thing Monica.

Stand strong...and now for something completely different...I have never met my biological father...never some much as seen a picture of him...my biological mother left me with an alcoholic step-father when I was 10 and I haven't heard from her since...I was adopted by my grandparents for the express purpose of being sent to a boarding school/orphanage...when I did get to come back home it was to take care of them...my father (grandfather) with Alzhiemer's and my mom (grandmother) with senile demintia...they have both since passed on...and for that matter my wife's parents don't like me very much (I took thier daughter away from the true faith...Southern Baptist)...I do know what it's like to have problems with parents...and I know what it's like not to have any...guess which one I would pick...

"you know Parents are the same no matter time or place...they don't understand that us kids are gonna make some mistakes...but to you other kids all around the land...take it from me...parents just don't understand."
-will smith...

 

[KagomeShuko]

Yes I do...this means I can't take any electives until my senior year, because my schedule is filled with required classes! There goes intermediate Latin, beginning German, fencing...

Aw, you always have plenty of time for extracurricular education outside of college. It sounds like you're busy enough with what you've got! I know the desire to learn and do stuff all too well. . .it's not always the best choice to pursue that stuff, though!

Stein Auf!
Bridget