Need Support

[madison1101]

Hi,
I am Trish and I am an alcoholic. I have been around CF for years, and drop in here from time to time. I have been in and out of AA for nineteen years, and sober this time around only 6 weeks right now. I have been in outpatient treatment on and off since October. What I have learned in the past few months is worth more to me than any of the previous sobriety I had before.

I am posting right now just to ask for support. I had some surgery a week ago, and have not been able to attend my regular outpatient group as I would like, not to mention being on narcotic pain pills since the surgery. I do get to meetings when I can, and I do speak with my sponsor with regularity. I just know I feel guilty for not getting to my regular meetings or outpatient treatment. I went back to work for the first time since my surgery, and came home in a great deal of pain, so I collapsed on the couch and just cried.

So, I am here, just asking for support, encouragement or prayer.

Trish

 

[kat69]

Trish, I will be praying for you.

kat

 

[Everlasting33]

Here a few of my favorite quotes that may inspire:


"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we might win, by fearing to attempt." --William Shakespeare




"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan, 'press on' has solved, and always will solve, the problems of the human race."
Calvin Coolidge

"Never give up. Never, never give up!. We shall go on to the end." Winston Churchill

 

[BlessEwe]

You are in my thoughts and prayers, and soon this will be behind you.
If your up to it, there are many meetings and readings all over the net, and chat too. Try googling alcohol recovery online chat.
Being stuck in the house does make our minds start obsessing doesn't it. I am just recovering from stupid vertigo for over a month and know what it is like to be isolated with this mind of mine... lol...

Try to stay out of your head, and focus on some good positive daily inspirations. I am glad you and your sponsor are in close contact.

 

[madison1101]

Thank you all for your support and encouragement. I am on a Yahoo group for AA Beginners. It does help. My sponsor has me currently working on Step 4, which I have found interesting, because I did not realize until I started it, just how much resentment and ill-will I have in my heart about my divorce, which I thought I had resolved. I love when God does His heart surgery, and gets right to the core issues.

I hope I am not feeling as poorly on Friday afternoon. Returning to work so soon after my surgery really wiped me out.

By the way, I love the quote from Winston Churchill. It got me through my graduate school program years ago.

Thanks everyone,

Hugs,
Trish

 

[BobW188]

Remember, you've got a "Home Group" right here! And you get to fix the coffee however you want!
Remember, your postings just this week have helped several newcomers. You may be sidelined, but you're delivering the message. Not all meetings are under one roof.

Also, keep in mind you're human. It's good your discovering the depths of your resentments; but don't fault yourself too much for having them. We wouldn't be commanded to forgive if it were easy! There's people I must've forgiven, and asked forgiveness for, a hundred times or more, and as soon as the day after there come the memories again, and the resentments again... It's a good thing God has a divine sense of humor!

 

[madison1101]

Remember, you've got a "Home Group" right here! And you get to fix the coffee however you want!
Remember, your postings just this week have helped several newcomers. You may be sidelined, but you're delivering the message. Not all meetings are under one roof.

Also, keep in mind you're human. It's good your discovering the depths of your resentments; but don't fault yourself too much for having them. We wouldn't be commanded to forgive if it were easy! There's people I must've forgiven, and asked forgiveness for, a hundred times or more, and as soon as the day after there come the memories again, and the resentments again... It's a good thing God has a divine sense of humor!

Thanks so much, Bob.
I am definitely not beating myself up for finding the resentments. Rather, I am just surprised that they still exist, and have been dormant, so to speak. I guess I had been deceived by Satan into thinking I had gotten over the divorce, and therefore, was doing better. Well, better, except for a wicked alcoholic relapse that kicked me to the curb last year.

It's my prayer that this 4th step will help me really do housecleaning. My first several 4th steps were more about my behavior, and did not deal with my heart attitude at all. This one is more about my heart attitude, and that is why I am surprised by the resentments about the divorce.

Thanks for the encouragement also. I usually feel like I am just floundering here, putting in my 2 cents occassionally on the blogs and forums I belong to.

Have a great weekend.
Trish