need some prayer and support

[jsparkle]

hey

im sorry to keep coming when things get so hard but im back again to ask for prayer, cos you people have been so lovely when ive been in need before.

im so down at the minute. my baby has just started being a lot more active, into everything, making a lot more mess, and i just feel like i can't cope with it, like i don't have the energy for it. she is amazing, but im not. we also have had some marriage issues.

i have eating problems and ive been binging to cope with stress or anxiety or just whatever is making me do it. i feel so upset about this - i do have a counsellor and i feel nothing has helped, i worry i will always have issues. it is making me lose confidence and energy and i have turned to so many people before, noone has been able to help me so i keep just turning to God. please please pray for God to help me and heal me, and to give me what i need for looking after my baby.

 

[aflower4God]

hey

im sorry to keep coming when things get so hard but im back again to ask for prayer, cos you people have been so lovely when ive been in need before.

im so down at the minute. my baby has just started being a lot more active, into everything, making a lot more mess, and i just feel like i can't cope with it, like i don't have the energy for it. she is amazing, but im not. we also have had some marriage issues.

i have eating problems and ive been binging to cope with stress or anxiety or just whatever is making me do it. i feel so upset about this - i do have a counsellor and i feel nothing has helped, i worry i will always have issues. it is making me lose confidence and energy and i have turned to so many people before, noone has been able to help me so i keep just turning to God. please please pray for God to help me and heal me, and to give me what i need for looking after my baby.

((((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))
Please know I will pray for you my dear sweet sister. Maybe you could look for another counselor, I have had too many of them tell me that I need to make other friends than my only offline best friend, and it seemed as if they did NOT hear what I said, that I don't drive and I suffer from social phobia, but the still said that as if that is the only answer. Finding the right therapist is important. I pray that you do find the right one the one who WILL understand you and your needs. Please keep us posted. 's

 

[Socktastic]

Praying for you, it is hard when they start to become active and life just seems to be bringing more and more challenges. I pray that you are able to find what you need to get through this .

I will echo Flower here, is it possible to find another counselor that you may get on with better? I had to go through several before finding one I connected with, before her the others were nice but I could never open up to them or really be open to them helping me.

 

[RuthD]

I'm praying for you dear one. God bless you.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

I'm praying for you

God Bless you

 

[jsparkle]

thanks so much for praying for me. the thing is, i do actually get on with her, and she does help me in different ways, but i still cannot stop doing what i am doing - the problem is just too deep. what i mean is, it seems to be too difficult for anyone except God to do anything about. i have been through different counsellors and this one is very good but still i am still caught in this awful behaviours. it hasn't helped that she has been off sick a few months though - she should be coming back in the next few weeks.
i just feel so guilty and down about everything. i need a few days of doing well before i start to feel normal again and then i seem to mess it up again. please pray these feelings go away and i will be lifted.
yes im finding it so hard that my baby can do more - a lot of people can't wait till their baby is crawling/walking, and that was me, but now i am finding it too much to manage - perhaps i just have to get used to coping with it. i just wish someone could give me a big massive hug and tell me everything is going to be ok.
i have tried baby led weaning and it meant 3 baths a day (baby doesn't like spoon feeds) i spoke to my husband about this saying it wasn't what i thought it would be like, a lot more messy and difficult. he just said oh i thought it would be like that. as if 3 baths a day is normal, and making me feel like even more a freak that can't handle my own baby.
i just feel ive noone to talk to. its ok for my husband, he isn't the one dealing with it day in day out. im so sorry for moaning. i wish i could enjoy it all and have the strength for it all. thats what its about - i just don't have the energy. thanks for listening...praying that God will meet the needs of all mums especially single mums as i take my hat off to them

 

[aflower4God]

(((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))) sweet sister,
If it makes you feel any better, I am 38 years old and I have NEVER babysat in my entire life. I was the youngest in the family and I was never interested in babysitting, by the time I was old enough to work I worked at my father's resturaunt. I use to think I was a freak about this until I talked to this co worker who was 2 years younger than me. She had a surprise baby with her hubby and she said she didn't know what she was doing for a year or two with her first child cause she too never babysat in her life and luckily her hubby had children from a previous marriage so he helped her with her child and then made learn how to do things herself. SO you are NOT alone, IF GOd blesses me with the right guy and we have kids, I am afraid I will be a horrible mom cause I have no experience with kids.
((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))) sweet sister, and praying for ya.

thanks so much for praying for me. the thing is, i do actually get on with her, and she does help me in different ways, but i still cannot stop doing what i am doing - the problem is just too deep. what i mean is, it seems to be too difficult for anyone except God to do anything about. i have been through different counsellors and this one is very good but still i am still caught in this awful behaviours. it hasn't helped that she has been off sick a few months though - she should be coming back in the next few weeks.
i just feel so guilty and down about everything. i need a few days of doing well before i start to feel normal again and then i seem to mess it up again. please pray these feelings go away and i will be lifted.
yes im finding it so hard that my baby can do more - a lot of people can't wait till their baby is crawling/walking, and that was me, but now i am finding it too much to manage - perhaps i just have to get used to coping with it. i just wish someone could give me a big massive hug and tell me everything is going to be ok.
i have tried baby led weaning and it meant 3 baths a day (baby doesn't like spoon feeds) i spoke to my husband about this saying it wasn't what i thought it would be like, a lot more messy and difficult. he just said oh i thought it would be like that. as if 3 baths a day is normal, and making me feel like even more a freak that can't handle my own baby.
i just feel ive noone to talk to. its ok for my husband, he isn't the one dealing with it day in day out. im so sorry for moaning. i wish i could enjoy it all and have the strength for it all. thats what its about - i just don't have the energy. thanks for listening...praying that God will meet the needs of all mums especially single mums as i take my hat off to them

 

[Woven]

I'm sorry you're feeling like you can't cope. I've been in that place. Being a mom is hard! I hope you don't mind me sharing my story with you.

I'm a perfectionist and a bit of a control freak (I'm working on it). When I fell pregnant with my first daughter I expected nothing less than perfection. I was going to be the perfect mother and the perfect wife, and I was going to have perfect children ... then I had my daughter and reality hit. The first 12 months were actually a breeze. She was a really easy baby but after she became mobile things really started to change. Suddenly my tidy house was a big mess, and at the same time she seemed to realize that she had a will of her own and she was going to use it. Suddenly my perfect little world wasn't so perfect anymore.

I had all these expectations, mostly for myself, and when they weren't being met I felt like a failure. The house was a mess, supper was never cooked by the time my husband came home, our marriage was taking strain, my daughter was testing boundaries all the time. I was annoyed all the time, I felt like everything was out of control. I was becoming a person that I hardly recognized anymore. I was impatient and cranky all the time. I didn't like who I was becoming. I felt like a failure as a wife and as a mother and worst of all when I prayed I felt like heavens were silent. I cried day after day. Sobbed. I felt like I was not fit to be a mother, like I didn’t deserve to have kids. I felt like I was in quicksand and the more I struggled the deeper I would sink.

This wasn't a burden that I felt I could share with anybody. I was in a desperate place. I remember one day sitting on the kitchen floor with tears streaming down my face saying "Please God, you have to break in. I don't like who I've become. I can't do this anymore" and for the first time in months I clearly felt the voice of the Lord say "My grace is sufficient for you".

For the next few weeks and months that scripture just kept popping up everywhere. Every blog I seemed to read, every book I picked up, in sermons at church, on the Christian TV channel. I got such an amazing revelation of God's grace for me that I was completely transformed. When I came to understand the amazing grace of God for wretched little me, it changed the way think, it changed my attitude and it changed the way I parent. Suddenly I could deal with others and myself with grace, and let go of all these expectations. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off me.

Satan loves to remind us of our failures, our poor performance and how we are so far from perfect, but he'll never remind us of God's grace. If you live in a place of only seeing your performance against this standard of perfection you'll live in constant condemnation. His grace is more than enough for all your weakness. Let go of your expectations, grab hold of God's grace with two hands and don't let go. Don't be so hard on yourself. Grace is for moms too.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9

Please PM me if you ever want to chat, or even just to vent.

 

[Winter]

hey

im sorry to keep coming when things get so hard but im back again to ask for prayer, cos you people have been so lovely when ive been in need before.

im so down at the minute. my baby has just started being a lot more active, into everything, making a lot more mess, and i just feel like i can't cope with it, like i don't have the energy for it. she is amazing, but im not. we also have had some marriage issues.

i have eating problems and ive been binging to cope with stress or anxiety or just whatever is making me do it. i feel so upset about this - i do have a counsellor and i feel nothing has helped, i worry i will always have issues. it is making me lose confidence and energy and i have turned to so many people before, noone has been able to help me so i keep just turning to God. please please pray for God to help me and heal me, and to give me what i need for looking after my baby.

I am going through the very same thing. I'm having trouble coping with the baby. I have no time anymore - barely time to be on CF. I understand how you feel. Its like a train running high speed. Its an issue of control. No more control, right?

I will be praying for you. Hang in there. I read its not forever. Hopefully things get better with time. Pray for me too, ok? I don't have the courage to make a thread about it. I'd ask you to PM me so we can chat, but the baby doesn't let me stay online for no more than 5 min. (((((((hugs))))))))))))

 

[Winter]

I'm sorry you're feeling like you can't cope. I've been in that place. Being a mom is hard! I hope you don't mind me sharing my story with you.

I'm a perfectionist and a bit of a control freak (I'm working on it). When I fell pregnant with my first daughter I expected nothing less than perfection. I was going to be the perfect mother and the perfect wife, and I was going to have perfect children ... then I had my daughter and reality hit. The first 12 months were actually a breeze. She was a really easy baby but after she became mobile things really started to change. Suddenly my tidy house was a big mess, and at the same time she seemed to realize that she had a will of her own and she was going to use it. Suddenly my perfect little world wasn't so perfect anymore.

I had all these expectations, mostly for myself, and when they weren't being met I felt like a failure. The house was a mess, supper was never cooked by the time my husband came home, our marriage was taking strain, my daughter was testing boundaries all the time. I was annoyed all the time, I felt like everything was out of control. I was becoming a person that I hardly recognized anymore. I was impatient and cranky all the time. I didn't like who I was becoming. I felt like a failure as a wife and as a mother and worst of all when I prayed I felt like heavens were silent. I cried day after day. Sobbed. I felt like I was not fit to be a mother, like I didn’t deserve to have kids. I felt like I was in quicksand and the more I struggled the deeper I would sink.

This wasn't a burden that I felt I could share with anybody. I was in a desperate place. I remember one day sitting on the kitchen floor with tears streaming down my face saying "Please God, you have to break in. I don't like who I've become. I can't do this anymore" and for the first time in months I clearly felt the voice of the Lord say "My grace is sufficient for you".

For the next few weeks and months that scripture just kept popping up everywhere. Every blog I seemed to read, every book I picked up, in sermons at church, on the Christian TV channel. I got such an amazing revelation of God's grace for me that I was completely transformed. When I came to understand the amazing grace of God for wretched little me, it changed the way think, it changed my attitude and it changed the way I parent. Suddenly I could deal with others and myself with grace, and let go of all these expectations. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off me.

Satan loves to remind us of our failures, our poor performance and how we are so far from perfect, but he'll never remind us of God's grace. If you live in a place of only seeing your performance against this standard of perfection you'll live in constant condemnation. His grace is more than enough for all your weakness. Let go of your expectations, grab hold of God's grace with two hands and don't let go. Don't be so hard on yourself. Grace is for moms too.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9

Please PM me if you ever want to chat, or even just to vent.

Woven, I'm going through the same thing as JSparkle. Your post was very helpful to me. Thank you.

 

[Winter]

Its the expectation part. Everything falls apart. The house, everything. No time to breathe either. Even now I'm anxious because he's going to wake up any moment and I got to get ready for church. JSparkle, I know what you mean about "keeping up." I can't can't keep up with the baby, the house, myself. I don't have the energy anymore. Lord, give me strength.

 

[Woven]

Woven, I'm going through the same thing as JSparkle. Your post was very helpful to me. Thank you.

I'm glad it helped. You must also PM if you need to.

 

[jsparkle]

thank you so much to everyone who replied and prayed forme, it has helped me so much.
Woven your story has helped immensely you have no idea. thats what it is like for me - i found the baby brilliant the first months, and now that she is moving all over the place i can't seem to handle it, and winter you are right its like the loss of control. i am also a perfectionist. it really is a control issue with me, the Lord is teaching me a lot, i really need his grace and to learn what he is teaching me quickly.
woven your experience gives me hope to - to think you went through all that hardship day after day and then the lord just instantly turned it around. thats what i need. i am also considering leaving my marriage as ive worked and worked at it and things are just too hard - there is so much going on. i just need the Lord to intervene. thank you so much for sharing.
winter, i prayed for you yesterday, and i will continue to think of you - i know how hard it is. i pray we will get through this and be able to somehow find the joy in it that we are supposed to find.

 

[Woven]

I'll be praying for you

 

[jsparkle]

thank you so much. im caught in this awful cycle and need God to just stop it somehow