Hey everyone,
I'm new to the forums. I joined because I don't have anyone I can talk to about my marriage and some of the struggles we are going through. I'm in need of some advice.
See I've been married for 2 years now, and everyone always told me "communication is key". So I entered marriage ready and willing, and being a person who is good with words I have no problem being open to communicating.....but my husband does. I feel like I'm at my witts end sometimes! I suffer from anxiety and depression and they have been getting worse since I got married. The problem is he doesn't know how to get the thoughts out of his head. He can't seem to talk about what is bothering him or even just to work out something we are going through. What makes it worse is if I've made a mistake in the past and raised my voice or I said the wrong thing he holds onto that for every other time we try and talk. I can't even ask the question "can we talk" because he just retreats into himself (and I have tried rephrasing it but that doesn't seem to help). It's frustrating because I only have so much control in this situation. I can control my own words and actions, and of course I'm not perfect but I'm always trying to be better, and I can pray for him and us, but beyond that he has to take the step to make an effort as well.
I was hoping someone might have advice on how to reach him. It's caused so many other small problems. For example, because he can't let things out they stay burried in his mind until maybe one day we have an argument and all of a sudden everything comes pouring out. I feel aweful because I had no idea how he felt, but what was I supposed to do if he never told me? (and yes I've tried asking him). It's made me feel so lonely in our marriage. He's been complaining of needing more alone time, and I agree I messed up in not giving him that a lot, it's just hard because I work from home all day and look forward to him coming home and spending time with him. Also I grew up an only child so all I ever longed for was someone to share life with. Honestly this wouldn't be such a big deal to give him time alone if the time we spent together we actually connected, I think that's why it's so hard for me to give him that time because I feel like I don't really connect to him when we have time together.
Sorry this is really long I just have been dealing with this for so long with no one to really talk to about it. I can't go to his parents because their relationship isn't the best either and I can see where my husband gets some of his traits from. Can anyone offer me some advice? Prayer would also be greatly appreciated!
I'm new to the forums. I joined because I don't have anyone I can talk to about my marriage and some of the struggles we are going through. I'm in need of some advice.
See I've been married for 2 years now, and everyone always told me "communication is key". So I entered marriage ready and willing, and being a person who is good with words I have no problem being open to communicating.....but my husband does. I feel like I'm at my witts end sometimes! I suffer from anxiety and depression and they have been getting worse since I got married. The problem is he doesn't know how to get the thoughts out of his head. He can't seem to talk about what is bothering him or even just to work out something we are going through. What makes it worse is if I've made a mistake in the past and raised my voice or I said the wrong thing he holds onto that for every other time we try and talk. I can't even ask the question "can we talk" because he just retreats into himself (and I have tried rephrasing it but that doesn't seem to help). It's frustrating because I only have so much control in this situation. I can control my own words and actions, and of course I'm not perfect but I'm always trying to be better, and I can pray for him and us, but beyond that he has to take the step to make an effort as well.
I was hoping someone might have advice on how to reach him. It's caused so many other small problems. For example, because he can't let things out they stay burried in his mind until maybe one day we have an argument and all of a sudden everything comes pouring out. I feel aweful because I had no idea how he felt, but what was I supposed to do if he never told me? (and yes I've tried asking him). It's made me feel so lonely in our marriage. He's been complaining of needing more alone time, and I agree I messed up in not giving him that a lot, it's just hard because I work from home all day and look forward to him coming home and spending time with him. Also I grew up an only child so all I ever longed for was someone to share life with. Honestly this wouldn't be such a big deal to give him time alone if the time we spent together we actually connected, I think that's why it's so hard for me to give him that time because I feel like I don't really connect to him when we have time together.
Sorry this is really long I just have been dealing with this for so long with no one to really talk to about it. I can't go to his parents because their relationship isn't the best either and I can see where my husband gets some of his traits from. Can anyone offer me some advice? Prayer would also be greatly appreciated!
