need some help

[fry]

my 1st post

I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible but who knows what these fingers will do

I was home a few weeks ago in Florida on leave from South Carolina where I'm in the Air Force. I went with a friend on Sunday evening to listen to a band play at a place on the beach. We had been there for a lil while and then I saw her. A girl I had gone to high school and church with that I hadn't seen in 4+ years. She ran up and gave me a hug and totally took my breath away. We got to talking and she had said how she was just talking about me the other day. We played catch up for a hour or so and then it was time to go. I told her were we would be later that night and asked her to swing by. She did stop by to have dinner with a few girlfriends that were in town for the weekend. As I was about to leave I finally worked up the courage to ask for her number. We ended up hanging out a few times and I took her to dinner with my family. We went to dinner one night to talk about "us". We both said that we felt a third hand in our friendship, a truly higher force guiding us. We both decided that its something that shouldn't be ignored and that we felt moved to start dating. I left for SC two days later (last Sunday) and it was truly one of the hardest goodbyes I have ever had to make. We talk everyday (so far at least twice) although I'm sure that will change as she goes back to Collage. I'm so thankful that God has brought such a awesome girl into my life. It seems to me that when you least expect it great things happen.

Now that you know the story I will get to the part where I need help. Nether of us have ever been in a long distance relationship, and we are looking to get all the Christian advise we can to make this work. So if you have ever been in one that worked or even on that didn't could you please share with me the do's and don'ts. From what I have read you should make rules. ex: talk every day, never get off the phone mad/upset. That kinda thing. any advise would help. thanks in advance. -Sean

 

[LifeInYou]

I've never been in a LDR but I will try to help you out. Novelty is key in any relationship. Keep things exciting with little surprises here and there to sustain the fire. It's hard through the web and phone, I know, but this will be your chance to get creative.

When all is said and done though, if you love one another, are committed to making it work, and you both keep the Lord as your number one priority, it can and will work.

Blessings to you, and Welcome.

 

[Warrior Poet]

Man LifeInYou is all over the boards latley giving great advice too, good stuff LIY.
I think from a guys point, this is a though thing to do, but it can be done. I think that keeping the fire lit is a big deal you need make sure you put the friendship first, and God as a hot topic between the two of you. I am not sure about talking everyday though some days you are just to busy and it may seem like a burden to HAVE to call, for me i would never expect that from a girl I am dating do school and work first, i will be there when its done, that kinda attitude is essential. And on a personal note dont say I love you until you are both sure you know what it means, i see that word get used to frequently with out knowing the meaning, beind it. Good luck to both of you. Be Friends and the rest falls into place.

Warrior Poet

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Don't forget that if God wants you too together it'll happen whether you want it too or not. So if God's in control of your futures, you've got nothing to worry about.

Deu 31.8: The Lord Himself has gone before you and will be with you. He will never leave you nor foresake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.

See? God said "don't worry about it."

 

[LifeInYou]

good stuff LIY.

Supashi-bo

 

[Warrior Poet]

Bless you .....*hands LifeInYou a tissue* and ummmm your welcome, i think.

Warrior Poet

 

[fry]

thanks all for the help

 

[desi]

The practical side of long distance relationships is disappointing. They usually end up one of two ways, end quick or end agonizingly slow. Neither one is what you want to happen. Keep in mind Proverbs says 'make your plans and prepare, God will grant the victory'. If you both feel God's endorsement in the relationship ask her to marry you now! Explain the situation to your superiors in the service and take a few days to see her and pop the question in person. That's right, jump into it! The military is the best place to start a family and college is available for her on base.

 

[fry]

I've been looking for literature on Christian Relationships and happened to come across the book Boy Meets Girl say hello to courtship by Joshua Harris. I started it last night and it took a hold of my heart and I couldn't put it down. I was talking to Joy (my girlfriend) last night on the phone and telling her how I had come to choose this book. She asked the title and said she thought she had it in her collection but had yet to read it. Turns out she does have the book. She told me that yesterday morning during her devotional she prayed for God to lead the way and if it is truly his will make it known to her. So I asked if she would put the book she is reading aside and pick this one up. I'm going down this next weekend to see her and I'm very excited to be able to talk about this book and figure out how God is leading our relationship. thanks again all for the help. -Sean

 

[DaveKerwin]

don't move so fast. pray for God's leading. circumstances are not necessarily evidence that God approves. GO SLOW, this is not a race.

GUARD YOUR HEART! Do not move into the "love phase" and do not give your heart to her yet.

DO NOT AWAKEN LOVE BEFORE IT's TIME! This will highly complicate things, especially being long distance. Get to know her well, but do not move too quick.

 

[Schae7]

I think the main key is doing what God leads you to do. Love can happen fast or slow. Just be sure your listening to Him. And please listen to each other. Assumptions are easy to make and a lot of times can be way off mark. Take the time to make sure each of you is heard and let God be your guide

 

[JahRawks]

I knew my girlfriend of now 11 months only online for two years before she asked me to be her boyfriend, I was so unsure about it at the time, it being long distance and us having never been actually together in person before, but, in June, after almost 9 months of being boyfriend/girlfriend I got together with her in person for the first time, she unfortunately lives in New York, and man, I'll tell you what, that 9 months of waiting, and two years of friendship was all worth it, she's everything I ever wanted in a girl, she's amazing, and I wouldn't have our relationship any other way, the most awesome part is, when we're on the phone which has been 6 days a week for over 2 months now, and we get in any kind of an argument (which does happen, but not on any kind of a regular basis) we stop whatever we were originally talking about and deal with it, we don't let things stew and simmer until we just blow up at each other, we deal with them right now, and in a loving, and understanding manner, I'm very certain as of right now that she's the one God has intended for me to marry, but I'm too young to get married just yet, and the circumstances aren't right, so we've sorta set a date for a little less than 3 years from now, I just can't believe how wonderfully God has blessed me with her, so yeah, just never hang up or get offline upset at her, if something comes up, deal with it right now, not even 24 hours from now, and oh, try to find a devotional the two of you can do together, but that's my advice, and I hope it helps, good luck and God Bless -Nathan

 

[YouthPastor]

Sean - Let me be honest here.

From reading your post, if I figured correctly you left to go back to SC on the 17th of August - so you met up with this girl sometime within the couple weeks before that.

Maybe ONE month, give or take alittle, you have been "reaquainted" with this girl.

Now, as of the 25th of august, you are talking about where God wants this relationship to lead?

IMO - take things slower..... Get to be friends - no strings attached.

 

[fry]

We actually came to the same conclusion that we were moving a lil to fast. This past week we have taken a break from each other, a time to step back and look to God only. For me its been no TV, no phone, no secular music, selective internet and last night I took off and went camping by myself. I devoted all my time on that trip to him with little interference from the outside. I had a devotional down by the lake and witnessed a beautiful sunset. I thanked God for all he has done in my life. I thanked him for bring Joy back into my life, because if its not his will for us to be together I know he sent her to bring me closer and back to where I need to be, by his side.