need some answers

[jessiegirl]

I posted in this forum earlier about my husband and his new pastime of trying to date women on XXX websites and his addiction to money. Many of you gave me some great answers. That's why I'm back.

I am a new Christian. I took a bible study class last year on the gospel of John and it changed my life forever. He is my Lord and Savior and I never felt it in my heart until I took my bible study class. But I am still new. You all have so much more knowledge than me. I was hoping you had scriptures to share to help answer my question.

I know my answers will come to me through prayer and reading His word, but maybe some of you can help me as well.

I know God hates divorce and adultry is the only acceptable reason. Let's say your spouse did not commit adultry. In my case, it appears he has committed adultry. But what if your spouse is evil? What if he or she is happily following Satan and has no regrets? When I found out he was trying to find women on these websites... he never said I'm sorry. He just walked about the house happily like it was his best day ever. He has told me and others that abortion is a good method of population control. He says he likes it when winter somes because the roads get icy and people die in car accidents which is another good form of population control.

My daughters have caught him on the porn sites. I worry for them. Do I just continue to pray that God will change him? What about his influence on my girls. They are good girls right now. I pray for them always. I have told them it's ok to love him, but not what he does. Interestly, as he was looking at his porn sites, he found his daughter from a previous marriage posing nude.

Does anyone have scriptures that pertain to something like this?

jessiegirl

 

[chriso]

Wow, remember no problem is too big for God to handle!! You need to pray for your husband. And I would talk to your pastor, or a trained counselor. And pray, pray, pray. Satan makes sin look sooo good. Your husband may not be a bad man he need to realize pornography is a sin that will consume you. He needs some help. But God will have to convict him of it before he will seek his help. Seeing his own daughter in that situation should make him want to run from it. I would keep a close eye on my daughters when he is on the computer. They don't need to be explosed to that filth. God Bless You. I will be praying for you.

 

[jessiegirl]

Thanks Chriso...

It helps just writing. I am slowing finding answers. Right now I am concerned how if one spouse is sinning so openly with lack of regret or remorse...how does that effect children. Problems in a marriage are one thing, but unfortunately it filters to the children. I was hoping to find scriptures that relate to our role as a parent. Talking to the kids and setting the right example will hopefully negate the sinning parent. Just lots of praying for me to do.

Thanks for your prayers!! I appreciate being able to just open my heart on these boards. It truly helps.

jessiegirl

 

[chriso]

jessiegirl here is a website that you may enjoy looking at www.bible.ca/f-10com-wife.htm It has the "ten commandments for wifes and husbands" It is some really good reading. And it gives scripture for christians to live by as far a being a good spouse. Continue to search the scriptures. The Bible is our "owners manual" for our lives to live by. GOD BLESS YOU

 

[tinaz]

No advice, just lots of ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))).

 

[tinaz]

No advice, just lots of (((((((hugs)))))))))))!

 

[jessiegirl]

Thanks to everyone. I'm sorting my way through here slowly. I love the prayers and hugs. I think I was led to this site for a reason.

jessiegirl

 

[4ever in Christ]

Jessie Girl,

You are loved! Your husband, no matter how he behaves is dearly loved as well! Remembering this has always brought me comfort. You are the ever beloved daughter of God, and He hears your need. All you can do is protect and teach your children, while putting all your faith in Christ.

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and burden is light."
--Matthew 11:28-30

The Lord has worked and continues to work amazing miracles in my marriage. Put your faith in Him and the blessings always roll in (in HIS time of coarse).

I will keep you in my prayers!
4ever in Christ

 

[Iddie4him]

The only advice I can offer is to try to convince him to seek help for his obvious addiction. And to seek Marriage counseling for the both of you to salvage your marriage.
I divorced my 1st wife in 98 and I feel bad for my daughter, she lives with my ex-wife. I don't get to see her as often as I like or want, but I love her just the same.
We didn't have the inclination or desire to save the marriage, so we split. I don't agree with divorces or separations, they hurt the innocent children in the home. Get some proffesional help for you both, God Bless and Hope that things will get better.

 

[chriso]

jessiegirl, I hope things are going well for you. I am still praying for you. God Bless You!!!

 

[ZiSunka]

I posted in this forum earlier about my husband and his new pastime of trying to date women on XXX websites and his addiction to money. Many of you gave me some great answers. That's why I'm back.

I am a new Christian. I took a bible study class last year on the gospel of John and it changed my life forever. He is my Lord and Savior and I never felt it in my heart until I took my bible study class. But I am still new. You all have so much more knowledge than me. I was hoping you had scriptures to share to help answer my question.

I know my answers will come to me through prayer and reading His word, but maybe some of you can help me as well.

I know God hates divorce and adultry is the only acceptable reason. Let's say your spouse did not commit adultry. In my case, it appears he has committed adultry. But what if your spouse is evil? What if he or she is happily following Satan and has no regrets? When I found out he was trying to find women on these websites... he never said I'm sorry. He just walked about the house happily like it was his best day ever. He has told me and others that abortion is a good method of population control. He says he likes it when winter somes because the roads get icy and people die in car accidents which is another good form of population control.

My daughters have caught him on the porn sites. I worry for them. Do I just continue to pray that God will change him? What about his influence on my girls. They are good girls right now. I pray for them always. I have told them it's ok to love him, but not what he does. Interestly, as he was looking at his porn sites, he found his daughter from a previous marriage posing nude.

Does anyone have scriptures that pertain to something like this?

jessiegirl

Have you considered getting him into counselling? He's got a serious problem that goes WAY beyond looking at a little porn. He sounds like a pretty sick person who needs serious help.

 

[jessiegirl]

Thanks everyone!! I appreciate the prayers so much. Sometimes I think things are better, but I never know. I know I will find my way. I just don't want my kids to suffer from watching their father doing so many wrong things...and he thinks and says it's all expected behavior. But I pray that I will have the wisdom and strength to guide them in the right direction. I feel so bad for kids who watch and live with the dysfunctional marriage. So far though, I have great kids who seem to know what is right and wrong. Thanks again evrybody! This is such an awesome site.

jessiegirl

 

[desi]

What if you 'intentionally' got the computer some cyber VD to mess up his game?

 

[jessiegirl]

I don't want to play games. He is making his own decisions. If he wants to change, he can. It is just painful to see the example he is setting for his children.


jessiegirl

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Wow.
*hug*
This guy needs to pull his head out and act like a man, a husband, and a father.
What a shame.

 

[katelyn]

If he is seeming unwilling to stop, but you are still worried about the affect on your girls, maybe you could ask him not to do such things on your home computer, or at least not when your girls are going to be around to see him making such bad decisions.

 

[jessiegirl]

He says there is nothing wrong with what he is doing. As in the woman's body is beautiful. He has even used the excuse that we were born naked...that is they way God sent us here...so there is nothing wrong. I just keep telling my girls that pornography, lies, adultry, addictions are all wrong in God's eyes. I know God loves all of us, but I often wonder what God thinks when he hears or sees my husband doing these things. Basically I focus on my own relationship with God and guiding my girls in my direction.


jessiegirl