Need some advice

[kittystorm92]

I am a member of a church who just recently merged with 3 other churches. I am the worship leader for the contemporary service, my husband is a trustee, and our 5 year old son is PDD-NOS. I work nights during the week and it is very hard to find someone to watch him for one night when my husband has a trustee meeting, so I asked the church if there was going to be someone to watch him in the nursery during the meeting. They e-mailed me back saying that it was decided that as of Feb. 7th they would not have child care available for children with special needs. We have been members for around 3 to 4 years now and we have not seen or heard of any other special need children in our churches. I have forward the e-mail onto the pastors with a reply stating that if we are truly trying to bring our community together and bring in more families then we should have a plan in place for families that have special needs, like child care. I'm I wrong in thinking this way? Is there some other way that I can have child care for my son during functions at church? If anyone has any thoughts please feel free to PM me or reply to this post.

Thanks for letting me vent.

kittystorm92

 

[NicoleB76]

I completely agree with you. The church should be a place of refuge for all, not just those whose kids are easy to handle. In the scheme of things, a family with a special needs child really needs the church more than most others in my opinion.

 

[vespasia]

That sounds awful.

Under UK laws this is disability discrimination and failure to provide 'reasonable adjustments'.

I think you may have found why there are no other sepcial needs children in your church.

It may be a good idea to ask other parents who are christians who have ASD/PDD-NOS where they feel able to go if the church refuses to consider this as a genuine need.

 

[HazelAngel]

Can I just ask what is PDD-NOS is? I have neva heard of it before? I have heard of AS (Asbergus Syndrome), ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder), DS (Down Syndrome) MS (Multiple Sclorosis) but not PDD-NOS. Can someone explain to me what it means because if I knew what it means it would make it better for me to understand ur situation.

 

[kittystorm92]

PDD-NOS stands for and I'm sorry if I don't spell it correctly but it means Prevasive Developmental Disorder- not otherwise specified. He is at the high end of the autism specturm, above Asbergus. He has a small speech delay and most of the problem is in the social area. Since he started having speech theapy his speech has increased and is more easliy understood, but he wants to socialize with other children and when they see him flapping his hands and doing his other little quirks they don't understand so they don't really try to interact with him but he doesn't understand so he just kind of follows. He also will hug anyone on the spot and some kids and people get scared.

 

[CHSlater]

Hi. I understand your concern about your church not providing something for your special need child. I have two children diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum disorder as well. My oldest is 9, and he is diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. My second is 7, and is diagnosed with Autism. Fortunately, my church just allows them to be a part like anyone else. We really have an open door policy where we will allow anyone to come, no matter the disability or problem. We even have a place in town that brings their loud mentally handicapped adults into the service just because we welcome them and don't turn them away like the other churches in town. However, even so, we don't depend on the church to provide child care during church meetings. If ever we need someone to watch our children, either we pay a teenager, get the grandparents, or (and this one might help the most) we have a special needs service in our area called ARC (Don't remember what it stands for) that provides a respite service. If your child qualifies, you may be able to get a similar service in your area. Information like this may be obtainable from your local school.

 

[kittystorm92]

He was able to be with the other kids and there was 3 or 4 people willing to be with him. I could understand if they e-mail me saying that they were having problems finding people to do child care during small meetings, but that's not what was said. I was asking about child care like any normal church member. I was not asking for child care for my special needs child.

 

[CHSlater]

It sounds then like your church is singling out your child for some reason. I concur that this is callous and unfair if you represent all the facts. I must wonder why after that many years of being a leader and member of your church that they would treat your child that way. There must be a reason. If I were you, I would find out what it is.

 

[kittystorm92]

Well according to the Super of our church conferene I am suppose to be gettig a phone call from the other pastor to set up a meeting to talk about what happened.

 

[liketotalk]

He was able to be with the other kids and there was 3 or 4 people willing to be with him. I could understand if they e-mail me saying that they were having problems finding people to do child care during small meetings, but that's not what was said. I was asking about child care like any normal church member. I was not asking for child care for my special needs child.

I would want/need answers like you.

My 8 yo son has HF autism.

Keep us updated.

 

[kittystorm92]

Well, as of today I'm sorry to say that I have yet to get that phone call from the other pastor to discuss what happened . We are now looking for a new church in the area, but have not yet found one that has everything we are looking for in a church. I would like to stay in the Methodist Faith so I can keep my Cert. Lay Speaker Status, but not finding much in our area. If anyone in the Rockford/Stateline Area is out there and has any suggestions please post or PM me.
Thanks for listening.

kittystorm92

 

[HazelAngel]

Now I understand what that is. I guess that it is higher than Turrets Syndrome but I am not so sure bout it. Heard bout Turrets on Oprah Winfrey, do sorts of sounds and stuff that they cant control.

 

[HazelAngel]

I guess I would love for u to keep us updated and c how this fellas goin. I really feel for u and I know what HFA is (High Functioning Autism) thats if u didnt know KittyStorm. How dare they single out ur kid from other kids, I reccon that they should talk about what happened and not do that again. Singling out kids with either Syndromes or Autism is totally unfair. It didnt happen with any church I went to, I was like any normal adult or kid there and I was fine, they accepted I had AS and they really put up with it quite well.

 

[kittystorm92]

Thanks HazelAngel, I will update everyone when something happens.

 

[HazelAngel]

Kk, ur welcome and thanks for the kind comment Kitty Storm.

 

[NicoleB76]

Definitely keep us updated. I hope you get some resolution or find a new church soon.

 

[liketotalk]

Well, as of today I'm sorry to say that I have yet to get that phone call from the other pastor to discuss what happened . We are now looking for a new church in the area, but have not yet found one that has everything we are looking for in a church. I would like to stay in the Methodist Faith so I can keep my Cert. Lay Speaker Status, but not finding much in our area. If anyone in the Rockford/Stateline Area is out there and has any suggestions please post or PM me.
Thanks for listening.

kittystorm92

I am so sorry that this situation has turned out this way. I know it hurts. Been there!

It took me a while but I found a church where my son is loved, cared for and accepted. Turns out my Pastor has a nephew who is on the spectrum who is 11 or so. His wife is the SS teacher so she is so caring and considerate with my son.

Pray, pray, pray and seek The LORD on this matter. HE knows where your son can bloom and be accepted and loved. HE knows everything!

Hugs!!!

 

[kittystorm92]

Thanks Everyone, as of today I still have not heard from anyone at Church. I don't understand how they can be this way. But I guess if they are not going to make the attempt to find out more and understand where I'm coming from then I'm not going to care. It is starting to get harder for me every week that goes by and I have nothing to do on Wed. I guess that's why I spend more time here. But it is hard, not sharing my music.

 

[HazelAngel]

kittystorm have a good look at this, it might give u some ideas and I actually posted on that thread. Hope it helps.

http://christianforums.com/t4416422-christian-education-for-students-with-autism.html

Just thought ud like to c it since it is on CF and it has somethin to do with autism/asbergus.

 

[kittystorm92]

kittystorm have a good look at this, it might give u some ideas and I actually posted on that thread. Hope it helps.

http://christianforums.com/t4416422-christian-education-for-students-with-autism.html

Just thought ud like to c it since it is on CF and it has somethin to do with autism/asbergus.

Thanks Hazel, I just posted there, and yes it is a very good idea.