Need some advice

[mariposa1127]

This week some really difficult things happened in my life. I will not bore you with the details but it has been upsetting. The thing that bothers me the most is not that the things happened but that people who I am close to got over it rather quickly while I am still upset about it. I wish there was some type of graph that said how long you can be upset about something. For example:

Stub you toe 10 minutes

Someone lies to you 2 hours

I just always seem to be upset longer then everyone else. So I guess I am asking for advice on two things. How can I learn not to stay upset for so long about something, and how can I learn to accept how people react to a situation that do not react in the same way that I do. I never seem to be satisfied I want people to care more. I seem to raise a bar on people that they can not reach. How can I stop doing this? I always feel very uncomfortable with being upset.

 

[97trsgl]

I know the whole WWJD thing was overdone to some degree but there is a truth to it. Jesus calls us all to be servants. The best way to learn out to react in different situations is to be in the Word daily. The more we study about God and how He wants us to live the easier it will become to naturally emulate the actions of Christ. Also pray for those who you feel wrong you. Don't try to live up to any human standard but only look to live up to God's standard. The greater part of what Jesus taught was about being humble and a servant.

 

[jive4005]

Sounds to me like you need a God inspired lesson plan to teach (actually "work into you" is more accurate) you some patience.

I'm seeing a couple of possible things here. Not knowing your age makes it harder... but beyond the point of not giving it over to God in a timely manner, I don't want you to be beating yourself up about this. What I do suggest is, with consoltation with God, find something that will lead you towards a more surrendering (to God) attitude...

Not sure what else to add except I love that you CARE!

Be blessed!

 

[ElElena]

When I think of anger I try to recall a couple of things.

Don't let the sun go down on your anger.

Recall we are allowed to be angry but we are not allowed to sin. BE ANGRY BUT SIN NOT is in God's Word.

A soft answer turns away wrath.

Those 3 simple Scriptures would be good to meditate on [think about] - Also asking the Lord to help you handle things his way.

We are human and we will get angry. Sometimes we may be angry and not even really know what triggered it. Sometimes I ask the Lord to show me what is really making me angry so I can check my motives.

If our motive for being angry is jealousy, selfishness, or anything like that then it is possible God is wanting us to change something in us.

If we are angry because someone else isn't living their life the way we want them to then we need to recall that we are not the one to judge them or correct them (unless we are in a position of authority over them and God shows us how to handle something) We cannot be control freaks because this doesn't please God.

God wants to be in control.

Just a few thoughts. I could think of other things at another time. These were the first thoughts I had.

 

[JPPT1974]

It is always better to serve
The Lord rather than the world
As the Lord will give you that
Will and way if you let Him.
Ask Him to help you to work through and with you on this.

 

[TrustingmyLord]

Well, some things are just more upsetting to one person than to another, and some people have more of a laid back attitude to where the bad things slide off easier.

I suggest focusing on God. Reading my Bible, praying and being close to him always helps me to keep things in perspective. God can help us see things through his point of view, and thats when we become more aware of what is really important, and what is not. Sometimes we just have to let things go.

Years ago, I actually enjoyed being upset. I would get mad over something and purposely think hard about it, keep it in my mind so I would continue to be upset. Life was pretty miserable then.

It would help if you were to explain more of what is upsetting you. That can make a major difference in peoples responses. Death, for instance. Mourning for a loved one is quite different then getting angry over someone cutting you off on the freeway.

Like I said, sometimes we need to just let things go.
As far as others, we cannot control how they react to things, but we can control how we react to them, and their reaction. I had a situation last year where there was some world news I read about that I found quite disturbing. I was very angered over this, felt it was so morally wrong, yet my husband didnt have much feelings on the issue at all. My first reaction was... what? How can this not bother you?? But really, in situations such as this, ask the other person why they feel the way they do. You may learn something, you may not.

Choose your battles. Dont sweat the little stuff... pray that God will guide you to the issues that are important and to help you let go of the ones that arent.

 

[fieldlily]

I just always seem to be upset longer then everyone else. So I guess I am asking for advice on two things. How can I learn not to stay upset for so long about something, and how can I learn to accept how people react to a situation that do not react in the same way that I do. I never seem to be satisfied I want people to care more. I seem to raise a bar on people that they can not reach. How can I stop doing this? I always feel very uncomfortable with being upset.

Hi mariposa,

First of all, I sure can relate to what you are sharing here. And... I think you already have some insights into your reactions. You seem to have high expectations...you do need to lower the bar on what you expect of others and you know that as you have said it above.

Best thing I can suggest is what I do when disappointed or upset with the failings of another ....go to prayer and also read something from the Word...there surely is a Psalm for every emotion and every situation. Repeat some of it throughout the day. And not to be too hard on yourself..know that you do react this way. Say to yourself..."I am reacting to this."

Action is always better than reaction. And time is your friend. After prayer..wait upon the Lord. You may find then you have a soft answer to turn away the anger or whatever has upset you. That is...a soft word to the offending person. Ask the Lord to fill you with mercy for the other one even as you ask Him to have mercy on you.

If there is criticism against you accept some part of it..if applicable...

And as someone else aptly said here. Remember not to "let the sun go down on your anger." In other words, don't let it brew and cause bitterness in you and with another and this is important...No matter how much you feel justified in your anger and wronged.

We all react differently and some are more challenged in this than others. My husband hardly ever lets anything bother him like this. And I am just the opposite. Maybe that is why we work together well as a team...for these past 45 years.

And we all, by the grace of God, can change our reactions...as a pattern of making peace (within and with others) becomes stronger than reacting or even overreacting it gets easier with practice. But some things others say and do we will just never like. There will always be disappointments..we just have to deal with how it effects us and how we effect others.

God can bring much good out of all of our encounters even the unpleasant ones. It's up to us to choose to change how we react.

My two cents,

God bless...

birdie

 

[ElElena]

Well, some things are just more upsetting to one person than to another, and some people have more of a laid back attitude to where the bad things slide off easier.

I suggest focusing on God. Reading my Bible, praying and being close to him always helps me to keep things in perspective. God can help us see things through his point of view, and thats when we become more aware of what is really important, and what is not. Sometimes we just have to let things go.

Years ago, I actually enjoyed being upset. I would get mad over something and purposely think hard about it, keep it in my mind so I would continue to be upset. Life was pretty miserable then.

It would help if you were to explain more of what is upsetting you. That can make a major difference in peoples responses. Death, for instance. Mourning for a loved one is quite different then getting angry over someone cutting you off on the freeway.

Like I said, sometimes we need to just let things go.
As far as others, we cannot control how they react to things, but we can control how we react to them, and their reaction. I had a situation last year where there was some world news I read about that I found quite disturbing. I was very angered over this, felt it was so morally wrong, yet my husband didnt have much feelings on the issue at all. My first reaction was... what? How can this not bother you?? But really, in situations such as this, ask the other person why they feel the way they do. You may learn something, you may not.

Choose your battles. Dont sweat the little stuff... pray that God will guide you to the issues that are important and to help you let go of the ones that arent.

CHOOSING YOUR BATTLES IS ADVISABLE, TOO.

 

[PastorAminata]

Dear sister,

It was said earlier in this post, What Would Jesus Do? We shouldn't be to quick to dismiss that, because that is the what you, I or any child of God should should use in order to correct our actions, and or responses to situations.

Having said that, would Jesus hold on to anger? Think about what one of his homies did to him... Peter. Think about it, right after He rose from the dead, he told his evangelist to go and tell my disciples... and Peter. He didn't hold on to Peter's denial of being assoicated with him, now did he? He could have expected more from Peter, after all Peter did walk with him, rather, Jesus understood that there was yet a lot for Peter to learn.

Now ask your question again, except allow the Christ in you to give you your answers and direction.

Be blessed and be a blessing

Pastor Aminata

 

[Taylor43]

Keeping you in my prayers