Hi. I've posted here a few times before. I have a problem that hopefully someone can help me out with. I am senior in college and I graduate in May. In Fall 2001, I transferred to my school from a community college. I got involved with Campus Crusade for Christ. Around November of 2001, I was placed in a Bible study with that group. Since it was close to the end of the semester, I didn't get the chance to really bond with the girls and get involved with the Bible study. I'd never been in a small group before. I was also busy with my major and with pledging a sorority. After Christmas, I depleged the sorority, so I really had the opportunity to focus on my Bible study. We did a Beth Moore study. It was the first time I'd done a study like that. In fact, it was the first I'd ever a Bible study, period. I'd like to say that I grew in my faith, but I didn't because I didn't understand the magnitude of a small group. I view it as a social thing and I figured everyone else did, too. I was in for a surprise when I realized the other girls took it very seriously. I felt really letdown by the experience. I was considering quitting the Bible study and CCC. I felt neglected by the girl who led the group and misunderstood by everyone else in the group. I came home for the summer feeling confused and dejected. A couple of months into the break, I decided to do the Beth Moore study in my own. For the first time, I truly understood what it meant to walk with God. As the summer progressed, I was excited about coming back to school, getting back into my major and CCC. I was unsure about the Bible study, so I decided I would talk with the leader, see what she was planning, and then make my decision. I also became aware that if I rejoined the Bible study, I should probably tell them about the things I did earlier in the summer. I had a bad fight with my sister, and in the name of a joke that went too far, I pepper-sprayed someone from work. A year later, my coworkers are making sure I never forget that incident. Anyway, fast foward to last August, the first Bible study of the year. We were all excited about finding out what God had in store for us. A couple of the girls had gone on summer-long mission trips sponsored by CCC. Sure enough, my suspicions of having to confess my summer activities was correct. I was freaking out about the girls judging me, so that when it was my turn (I was the last to go), I went all psycho on them. I told them that Christianity was stupid, I didn't want to be in a Bible study, I didn't care if people got saved, and I didn't want to be a Christian anymore. I also told the leader (by the way, she was why I'd considered leaving in the first place), that she was an idiot, an airhead, and a selfish something that starts with B and rhymes with witch. Needless to say, I was kicked out of the Bible study b/c most of the girls had issues with me coming back. The leader and one person from the group (the one I am closest too) offered to meet with me each week. I met with them, but I had already given up on my faith. After the incident, I tried to be godly but when it wasn't getting the results I wanted, I gave up. The incident set the tone for my semester. I didn't do as well as I wanted to in my classes, I turned procrastination into an art form when it came to projects and assignments, and a professor of mine told me that I wasn't good enough to be an anchor (I'm a broadcasting and sociology major). My schedule was challenging enough to begin with, but the Bible study thing made it worse. I ended the semester confused and unsure about stuff. Earlier that semester, I'd been invited to join another Bible study. This one was independent of any group. I didn't join that semester b/c I was waiting to see if I'd be allowed back in the one I'd been kicked out of. I wasn't, so I went to the new one. I told the girl who lead it about what happened to me and she still invited me to join. I also decided to try news producing and I have an internship at a TV station this fall. Things were looking up. But, I really didn't feel like I was growing in the new Bible study. We studied the Ten Commandments and we didn't use a book or anything. The girl who lead it wrote her own Bible studies. I admit, I really didn't put forth any effort in the new Bible study. I also had some drama with a boy. Unlike the first Bible study, the girl who led the new one didn't meet with us for discipleship. I hadn't done it in my first Bible study, but I know the leader planned to change that. I realized that in this new Bible study, I felt more isolated than ever from the people at CCC. I would really like to rejoin my first Bible study, but I don't know if I should even try. Though two of the girls are talking to me again, I know many, if not all, don't want me to come back. I would really like to rebuild my relationships with these girls. Also, one girl just got married, and another is transferring schools and getting married. I can't say that this summer, I've taken the steps to improve my spiritual life, either. And I admit, when I was in the first Bible study, I was in the popular clique, a clique I'd never been in before. I hate feeling so out-of-the-loop with the CCC people. The second Bible study didn't help that matter. The one girl who is transferring is also my closest friend from CCC. She was my only link to the CCC people. I'm really confused about the whole thing. I've thought about just joining another CCC Bible study, but there is the issue of my graduating status. I wasn't put in my first Bible study until close to the end of the semester. It didn't matter then, but now, since I'm graduating, time is running out. I've thought about talking to one of the people on staff. Maybe they could place me somewhere. I also don't want to be in a Bible study with freshman or sophomores, but any staff person who knows my situation, might be cautious of putting my in a group with juniors and seniors b/c I guess I might not be on their level spiritually. A little background info on the first Bible study; the girl who leads it is a 5th-year senior (like me) who graduates in December. As far as I know, there is one junior and three seniors (4th year) in the group. The girl who got married graduates in December and the girl who is transferring graduates in May. Basically, all of the girls are at the same point in their college careers. I am too, and that's the main reason why I don't want to be put in a freshman or a sophomore Bible study. I go back to school in a couple of weeks, the Bible studies will probably start up the second week of school. Please help me as any feedback is welcome. I'm sorry this was so long!
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Need some advice
- Thread starter DiscoGirlie
- Start date
Please don't join the junior/senior bible study group for the social bump into the clique, yes it does come as a benifit. The main focus of a bible study is for you to grow closer to God, thats what bible study is all about. Pray about your situation and then if you still feel the desire to be in this group, swallow your pride and apologize of your previous actions. If talking to the group in person makes you uncomfortable, then write a letter. Even if you go into another group, tell them that you're sorry and build those bridges back. It never hurts to have one more friend.
If you do choose to go to the freshmen/sophmore study group. I'm sure you could give them great advise from your good and bad experiences of college, they'll need it. And again don't let your pride get in the way to not study with younger people, bonding with them may not be as difficult as you see it.
Either way the situations don't look bad. Remember to keep God first. Growing in him is your focus. Let everything else come into place.
If you do choose to go to the freshmen/sophmore study group. I'm sure you could give them great advise from your good and bad experiences of college, they'll need it. And again don't let your pride get in the way to not study with younger people, bonding with them may not be as difficult as you see it.
Either way the situations don't look bad. Remember to keep God first. Growing in him is your focus. Let everything else come into place.
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DaveKerwin
Represent the Most High
It sounds to me like you bit the hand that fed you. Only you know why you turned on them. I can imagine being in their shoes, trying to get you connected, then you say we are stupid and that you do not want to be a christian. Uh... what the heck happened there? Why would you turn on them?
Regardless of what you do, make sure you are connected to the family of believers, God designed us to work together as one, not separate. Whatever caused you to turn on them, you really need to work on that. Are you emotionally stable?
Regardless of what you do, make sure you are connected to the family of believers, God designed us to work together as one, not separate. Whatever caused you to turn on them, you really need to work on that. Are you emotionally stable?
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Actually, Blake, I have apologized and I have wrote letters to all of the girls, except the ones I had been meeting with. As I said before, two of the girls are making small talk with me, two are leaving, and one girl I wasn't close with to begin with. I don't know where I stand with most of them. And the thing I'm concerned with about joining a younger Bible study is that I might not have anything in common with them. I'm finishing college, they're just beginning. Besides, most of my friends are younger than I am. I guess I'd like a friend who's more spiritually mature.
And, Dave, well I figured someone would chastise me. I've posted this in other forums as well. Anyway, I think I turned on them because I was afraid of being judged for my actions. I hadn't been spending as much time with God as I should have since it was the beginning of the semester and I'd gotten busy. I guess Satan took advatange of that situation.
And, Dave, well I figured someone would chastise me. I've posted this in other forums as well. Anyway, I think I turned on them because I was afraid of being judged for my actions. I hadn't been spending as much time with God as I should have since it was the beginning of the semester and I'd gotten busy. I guess Satan took advatange of that situation.
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Disco, it sounds like you are getting back on the right foot. The girls in the Bible study group shouldn't hold malice in their heart towards you, and if they do its a great way the group could do a Bible study over forgiveness. I don't see any reason why the group would not let you back in, as long as your apologies were heartfelt and I'm confident that they were. Have no fear about not having anything to relate with the younger people you've been in their shoes before. But, I do see your point in wanting people on the same level as you, that you can relate to and that can guide you and advance your spiritual growth. Keep praying!
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JillLars
It's a Boy! Jace David- Due 1/20/07
I think that you should take some time to connect with God on a more individual level. It seems to me, from your post, that you are interested in being involved with people for the social aspect of it. Why do you want to be a part of this bible study? To become closer to Christ, or to become closer to the people in CCC? If it isn't the first option, then I think you have some serious thinking to do. You'll be less likely to spaz at people if you are there with the right motives. Don't make it into a social clique thing, its about being closer to God, and I honestly think maybe you should work on that on your own before you join a group. IMHO.
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DaveKerwin
Represent the Most High
Disco,
I would get your relationship with God going right. Then ask for his guidance. He will lead you, draw near to him, he will draw near to you.
I know some people from CCC, and my experience with them has been awesome. The people who usually are involved with it are really good people. I cannot imagine them not talking to you for not good reason, which is why I was asking you those questions. I encourage you not to act out of fear, just be yourself. After all, you are who you are. If you are afraid to let people get to know you, then work through that, and just be vulnerable. It is difficult for us to be vulnerable, expecially if we have been hurt in the past. But the only way to get past it is to be vulnerable again. Find people you trust, and share your life, let them in. Don't turn your back on them, don't betray them, just be you, full force. God knows your needs, and it sounds like you do to. Fellowship is key. Don't give up, there is much hope in Christ.
I would get your relationship with God going right. Then ask for his guidance. He will lead you, draw near to him, he will draw near to you.
I know some people from CCC, and my experience with them has been awesome. The people who usually are involved with it are really good people. I cannot imagine them not talking to you for not good reason, which is why I was asking you those questions. I encourage you not to act out of fear, just be yourself. After all, you are who you are. If you are afraid to let people get to know you, then work through that, and just be vulnerable. It is difficult for us to be vulnerable, expecially if we have been hurt in the past. But the only way to get past it is to be vulnerable again. Find people you trust, and share your life, let them in. Don't turn your back on them, don't betray them, just be you, full force. God knows your needs, and it sounds like you do to. Fellowship is key. Don't give up, there is much hope in Christ.
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