Need some advice, please....

[superdave]

Ok... here is the deal... I move to another town, where one of my great friends live. And he introduces me to his circle of friends... there is a girl, that is really awesome and fits perfectly in my criteria of what I am looking for. So I have this small crush on her- well, MY friend likes her a whole lot. And now I don't see anything happening...but I WANT to know this girl- that's all I ask for. But I don't want our friendship to be in danger?- what should I do- I have never been faced with this.

 

[Stanfi]

Wow that is a tough one. There is nothing that will bust up a friendship quicker than competition over a lady. I hate to say that but it's true. Usually what will happen, is that the friendships busts over the lady. Then the lady thinks both guys are a couple of jerks the way they act, and neither of the guys end up with her. That's how I've seen it anyway.

Anyway, if this is a very good friend of yours, then do not do anything to ruin that friendship. True friends (I mean the ones that are there through thick and thin) are hard to come buy, and no lady is worth losing a good friend over. I know that is hard to accept but it is true.

If you really like this girl then pray about it. If it is God's will for her to be in your life, then God will open a door for you. If God doesn't open the door, then my advice is to leave the girl alone, and save the friendship.

 

[Warrior Poet]

I always held a rule to myslef about girls that we(my friends) either dated or like, OFF LIMITS. Even with there permission i would never touch that at all. I have seen a girl break up to many friendships, no girl is worth a longtime loyal friend, in a life time they are so rare. I wouldnt want them to do it to me and in turn i would never do it to them, there are too many great ladies out there, why go for one you know your friend likes or has dated, just my opinion.

Warrior Poet

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

I always held a rule to myslef about girls that we(my friends) either dated or like, OFF LIMITS. Even with there permission i would never touch that at all. I have seen a girl break up to many friendships, no girl is worth a longtime loyal friend, in a life time they are so rare. I wouldnt want them to do it to me and in turn i would never do it to them, there are too many great ladies out there, why go for one you know your friend likes or has dated, just my opinion.

Warrior Poet

This is one of those responses where I have nothing to say, because if WP and I were in the same room I'd just hold out my fist, WP would give me a pound and the conversation would be over.

 

[ZiSunka]

I agree with you WP. It can ruin a friendship, and once you get to know her, she might not be your dream girl afterall, then you would have ended a close friendship for no good reason.

Get to know her as part of your group, and if she likes you more than your friend and wants to be with you, so be it. But don't try to get her away from him. That would be wrong and would be a betrayal of him.

 

[superdave]

Thats exactly what I was going to do anyway. I just wanted to see what everyone had to say... I mean it is really early into this- I am just stopping it now- Before it can become out of hand.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Good idea Dave, kill it before it kills you...

 

[desi]

Dave, you might want to find out if she likes you or your friend before you fall on your own sword.

 

[leecappella]

Ok... here is the deal... I move to another town, where one of my great friends live. And he introduces me to his circle of friends... there is a girl, that is really awesome and fits perfectly in my criteria of what I am looking for. So I have this small crush on her- well, MY friend likes her a whole lot. And now I don't see anything happening...but I WANT to know this girl- that's all I ask for. But I don't want our friendship to be in danger?- what should I do- I have never been faced with this.

me: I think you should have a chat with your friend and see how he feels about it. You might even find out where he stand on his feelings towards her. If he still is interested in her, I'd say back off and let them be. It's almost like a marriage situation. Your friend could be married to her and you have a crush on her. You have to let it go. Sure, there is no covenant vow between your friend and this girl, but being considerate of your friend's feelings is quite godly, I'd say. I'm assuming he liked her first. If he is still interested in her, let them be. If she is not interested in him, I would still suggest that you talk to your friend and ask how your involvement with her would affect them, seeing how your friend had some kind of feelings for her. Communication and prayer are the keys.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Proceed with caution.