Need relationship advice

[DCeazy]

I am currently 17 and a senior in high school and have liked a girl since february of last year and have been mostly texting her since. I told her i liked her at the end of june and she even said that she liked me for a time in the summer. Fast forward to the end august and after alot of times of doubt that anything will happen relationship wise, i started praying to God every single night, i even told God that only way a relationship could happen is through Him. After awhile of praying God showed me that He wants me to go to bible college with this girl, and He intends for us to go into ministry together, i told the girl this and she said she feels called to bible college but doesnt know about ministry, fast forward a few weeks and God finnaly showed me and put to rest my anxieties and doubt and said that He intends for me to marry her, i know it was God telling me this because i felt peace and my anxieties and stress were taken away because i was truly broken when He showed me, i told the girl that through text and she seemed suprised about it. But to sum up what im asking, she doesnt feel the same way as i do, and is confused on why God hasnt showed her yet, she cant be in a relationship till shes 18 wich will be next year, but im just so confused on why God showed me this and not her, ive been so doubtful at times of Gods plan but God always is there to comfort me but i just need advice on why God hasnt shown her and what i should do.

 

[HereIStand]

Welcome to CF.
It sounds like you have strong faith. My advice would be to wait until you attend college to consider marriage with this girl. If after a time in school, you both are in love, then you can plan a life together at that point. Until then, I would continue trying to get to know her. God bless.

 

[Greg Merrill]

I am currently 17 and a senior in high school and have liked a girl since february of last year and have been mostly texting her since. I told her i liked her at the end of june and she even said that she liked me for a time in the summer. Fast forward to the end august and after alot of times of doubt that anything will happen relationship wise, i started praying to God every single night, i even told God that only way a relationship could happen is through Him. After awhile of praying God showed me that He wants me to go to bible college with this girl, and He intends for us to go into ministry together, i told the girl this and she said she feels called to bible college but doesnt know about ministry, fast forward a few weeks and God finnaly showed me and put to rest my anxieties and doubt and said that He intends for me to marry her, i know it was God telling me this because i felt peace and my anxieties and stress were taken away because i was truly broken when He showed me, i told the girl that through text and she seemed suprised about it. But to sum up what im asking, she doesnt feel the same way as i do, and is confused on why God hasnt showed her yet, she cant be in a relationship till shes 18 wich will be next year, but im just so confused on why God showed me this and not her, ive been so doubtful at times of Gods plan but God always is there to comfort me but i just need advice on why God hasnt shown her and what i should do.

Father, I pray that You will guide both of these young people. I pray that You will protect them from outside misguidance. I pray that they will truly follow You, not hormones, not infatuation, not romance, not idealism, not the stories of others, not the world's concept of love, not false doctrine, not impatience, etc., etc. I pray that You will help them recognize the difference between truth and deception, between You and an impostor, between Your guidance and the "voice" of another that may be trying to represent You incorrectly. Father, You know what else could be rightly added to this prayer of mine, that would be for their good, and for Your glory. I ask the Holy Spirit's further intercession (Romans 8:26) on behalf of these two people. Amen.

 

[Paidiske]

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[Odetta]

The fact that you are questioning why she is not falling in line with what you think God has said concerns me. You need to be very careful with your behavior and words that you are not stalking her. If I were unsure about a guy, and he said to me that God told him that we would get married and do ministry together, I'd be scared off. Please remember that she has free will to choose you or not, that she may not be ready if this is indeed God's will, or that you may actually be wrong in calling this God's will instead of your own desires. All you can do is pray and be available for the relationship in whatever form she allows, and not pressure her in any way.

And this is coming from a woman who knew on the first date she and her husband were meant to be together, but had to wait for three (tumultuous) years for him to come to that conclusion on his own. And we've been married for 20 years and still going strong.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

I am currently 17 and a senior in high school and have liked a girl since february of last year and have been mostly texting her since. I told her i liked her at the end of june and she even said that she liked me for a time in the summer. Fast forward to the end august and after alot of times of doubt that anything will happen relationship wise, i started praying to God every single night, i even told God that only way a relationship could happen is through Him. After awhile of praying God showed me that He wants me to go to bible college with this girl, and He intends for us to go into ministry together, i told the girl this and she said she feels called to bible college but doesnt know about ministry, fast forward a few weeks and God finnaly showed me and put to rest my anxieties and doubt and said that He intends for me to marry her, i know it was God telling me this because i felt peace and my anxieties and stress were taken away because i was truly broken when He showed me, i told the girl that through text and she seemed suprised about it. But to sum up what im asking, she doesnt feel the same way as i do, and is confused on why God hasnt showed her yet, she cant be in a relationship till shes 18 wich will be next year, but im just so confused on why God showed me this and not her, ive been so doubtful at times of Gods plan but God always is there to comfort me but i just need advice on why God hasnt shown her and what i should do.

Too often I've heard of this and the person go ahead and tell the other person that
God has said this or that .
What to do when you feel that God has revealed such a thing...watch and pray.
Don't say nothing to the person you're interested in...since that has happened,
don't say anything else about the matter, continue to watch and pray.
Allow things to go on naturally, a relationship shouldn't be pressed and or
manipulated.

Focus on being a godly son, good student and respect the rules that your love
interest's parents have put in place for her.

 

[Zatek]

Obviously God can do whatever he wants, but in my experience and in reading the Bible it seems pretty clear that God speaks to people in clear visions or dreams, not feelings. I have had one before, back when I was unsure if Christianity was true. I read the entire Bible, and study online, and prayed for about a month. Then one night a figure appeared above me and I forget the words but basically it as something along the lines of "Jesus is the messiah but you need to make a bigger room for him". Very concise and unambiguous.

Like I said, God can do what he wants, but I've never see any evidence that he uses feelings to communicate specific messages to people. If you didn't have a visual vision or dream of him telling you something, then you are probably mistaken. God gives us free will and we are responsible for making good choices, so unless God gave you a clear vision to do something else, then you need to think about what your long term goals are in life, not just do something because you think God might have gave you a feeling about marrying some woman.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

You're to young to worry about such things. I mean if you want to be friends with her thats fine its to early to think about romance just yet. I know it seems like all adults say that but its very true what they say about listening to your elders. Your elders were once young and did the same things. And they sometimes followed the advice and sometimes didn't.

In my case I ignored the advice of my elders though thankfully other things came up and romance never really got me anywhere until my mid 20s. And I am glad of that because I wasn't as ready as I thought I was. As I point out often on this forum science shows your brain is not really fully matured until your 25, for men sometimes 30. Its not saying you not intelligent or what not. What it means that as a teen for example you often take action first, then think about it later.

Where as when your brains more matured you think first, then take action after depending on what you thought about. In otherwords when young we rush into things or think we are doing whats best but are often wrong. Especially as a christian at that age. We think God is telling us all these things about someone we like and it feels like we are in a fairy tale of "Happily ever after!".... then reality kicks in.

People change constantly as they grow from a child. What you want and like at 17 will change by the time your 18. And then change again by 19, and 20, and 21...etc. Trust me that sounds silly but its true. Looking back I see all the changes I had over those years. So wait on love and go to college or pursue a good job you want. Save love or more so marriage until like 25 or so. Also don't worry about peer pressure from the world showing people getting married super young and having kids.