Need prayers and advice

[Christos Anesti]

I've been in recovery for drug addiction for some time now. Last weekend a friend was visiting from out of state. We went to hang out at the local resturant and drink some capichinos and talked for about an hour or so. Eventually we felt uncomfortable loitering there and my friend suggested that we go to a bar. At the time I was in a carefree mood not being overly watchful and I agreed to go. My friend ordered me a mixed drink and he ordered two beers. I drank the drink , nursing it over time , and went home. I also realized once again how irritating bars are that play loud music (maybe I'm getting old?*). Thankfully I wasn't drunk and I wasn't even driving so in that regard it wasn't a total disaster. I did however give up a good deal of clean time. If that was all to the story I probably would have found a way to rationalize that I didn't need to tell anyone about.

Unfortunately thats not the whole story. As soon as I went into the bar and took a sip of a drink one of my fellow NA folks was working there and saw me. I think he was trying to help me and get me to put my drink down because said "hey buddy" and smiled at me funny. I didn't want to insult my friend though so I kept drinking it. This same person just got 90 days and was really proud of it. I even congratulated him at the meeting. The next time I went to that Sunday meeting though he wasn't there. I'm afraid it could be because he was embarrassed to meet me at it. I really hope I didn't do anything to hurt is recovery. If anyone would pray for him ( I can't give his name though for obvious reasons) I would really appreciate it. Also if anyone has some advice on how to handle this situation I would also appreciate it. I think I set a really bad example and may have even hurt his opinion of NA.

* My hobbies consist of reading books and writting about them on forums. I'm not the most exciting person and sometimes I feel like I don't know how to entertain people anymore. I used to be all about parties and threw some really entertaining ones back in the day but I'm just not that interested in that kind of thing now. I'm a homebody really. Going back to the house wasn't an option and I wanted to hang out with my friend for at least a few more hours because I hadn't seen him years.j

::EDIT:: I guess it's important to point out that none of the rationalization that came to mind that night were actually rational. I was just writting exactly how I felt at the time.

 

[Louis Cyphere]

Its sounds like you still have a problem putting your "friends" before your recovery! If he was truly your friend he wouldn't have a problem with the fact you are in a recovery program and either don't feel comfortable hanging out in bars.
Perhaps you are using "not wanting to insult him" as an excuse to use.

What do you think your peers in NA would say about your excuses? What do you think your sponser would say?

In fact, at the risk of sounding insulting, why are you coming here for advice? If you are truly in NA then I have a hard time believing you don't know exactly what you need to do.

I will pray for you brother, pray that you will have the strength to put aside your feeble and petty excuses and get back on the track to recovery.

 

[Christos Anesti]

Its sounds like you still have a problem putting your "friends" before your recovery!

I think that is an accurate and honest statement. At the time I wasn't thinking about my recovery.

I have a hard time believing you don't know exactly what you need to do.

I'm not sure what I should do in regards to the person that I might have offended. More specifically how I should go about apologizing. Things of that nature. I don't want to cause the person I'm apologizing too to feel uncomfortable or maybe say something that would make things worse. I don't have the greatsest social skills. More of an introvert. As for what I should do personally thats an easier matter.

I will pray for you brother, pray that you will have the strength to put aside your feeble and petty excuses and get back on the track to recovery.

Thank you.

What do you think your peers in NA would say about your excuses?

That was what I was thinking at the time. I wasn't pretending that it was actually logical or the correct way to think. I mean looking back the idea that my friend might be insulted if I didn't drink the he bought is actually kind of silly. At most he would have frowned and said something to the effect of "why did I waste that money". Unfortunately people don't always think logically.

In fact, at the risk of sounding insulting

No offense taken. I like honest answers

why are you coming here for advice?

Why not? If I don't find any responses that are useful I will simply ignore them. If I do get a useful response all the better. Whats to loose? I might even get some prayers for myself and my friend. Not to mention that I feel better after writting it. I guess there are downsides with sharing you dirty laundery in a public place. I can live with it though.