It may help if I share what was told to me... you may be a blessing without ever realizing it. Your different thinking, may help others.
Because of autism, you face a lot of difficulties. God knows the struggling you go through to have relationships, the pain you have as it's again not working out, the frustration and perhaps, at times anger, towards yourself, or towards others, or perhaps also to God, that it's like that and that they don't always see, or respond in ways helpfull, or that you at times feel left out.
I have a lot of struggling there too... also finding, it's can be so difficult, me wishing God to be that Best Friend, but... well, He speaks in other ways. Most people find that difficult, though uncertainty and feelings of lacking in relationships make it seem worse (and perhaps it is, but He's wanting to help make it become better)
What I was told, uhm, a few months ago, is, that if you do something that's, well, hard to you, for God, it's so precious to Him.
Perhaps that's... He knows these things are hard to you, but He's not angry or dissapointed.
He is excited and so proud of you if through all of that you keep trying...
I hope that's somewhat a help to you; hope am making sence, am just writing out some thoughts now
