need help!~~

[boytrouble]

hey everyone. i am the most confused person right now and im hoping u guys can help me. Me and my b/f have been dating for a year and a half and we r in our senior year in high school. I found out that he used to check out girls as often as a few times a month for most of our relationship.i simply found out by asking him about it a few months ago and he told me he didn't want to lie and he's hoping i could forgive him and he hasn't done it in a while. I honestly don't know what to think of it. I know we are still young and there are a lot of beautiful girls at my school but i also have been told that a man in-love wont think about any other girl but the girl he is in love with. This may seem stupid but Im not comfortable around him anymore. I don't feel beatiful enough and I don't feel good enough for him anymore bcuz i feel like he wants someone else. But with that said i also want u to know about our relationship....i honestly feel like im in-love with him. He is also the most honest and respectable christian you will ever meet. I can tell just by the way he looks at me and the way he talks to me that he's in-love with me too. He has told me many times that if he knew how insecure this would make me that he would have never done it and he would rather be with me and make me happy then check out any other girl again. is this enough to break up over? and if there is some way that we can fix this then im open to anything!
-boytrouble

 

[peanutbutter12]

I'm guessing by "check out" you mean looking at other girls? This is pretty much normal. If a guy sees an attractive female walking down the street, he will look. Nothing wrong with it in and of itself. The question is, "what does he do with the information once it's processed?"

I find it mildly amusing that some girls, especially here on CF, try to trick themselves into believing their guy doesn't look at other girls. It's a fact of life that will only lead them to disappointment in the future. There is a big difference between noticing an attractive girl and lusting after one. I'll leave that for someone else to describe.

CJ

 

[Inperfected]

Totally agree with terrasin! As a female I've noticed my fiance do it every now and then... HOWEVER, he himself stated the difference.. Looking once isn't a problem, it's the second look.

 

[chi_rho]

hehehe yerp thats boys, i dont think you have anything to worry about, by the things you have said about him he sounds like a very respectable guy.

My boy and i have been together for two years and he does the same thing...i admit i do sometimes aswell but yeah i agree with the abovers one's alright two is wrong.

 

[boytrouble]

i hate to say this but...my b/f admitted that he took the second look not more than a couple times. Now I don't know what to think even more. what should i do know? i guess the way u guys explained it, i wouldn't have much of a problem with it if he didn't it once in a while and didn't look the second time but now that i know that he did i don't know what to do.

 

[peanutbutter12]

I am going to assume by second look she meant lusting after her, not nessessarily a physical second look. The real question you should be asking him is if he thinks about being with him when he looks at them and if he spends a good amount of time pondering it.

CJ

 

[Inperfected]

Look you really have to decide this for yourself.

Personally in my last relationship, I made a big mistake a cheated. My ex forgave me and we had a great relationship from then on. my fiance now is his best mate, and i have thought about my ex a few times as in "what if?" to the point where it's nearly broken me and my guy up.

My point, I was forgiven because I was contrite and not going to be a repeat offender. If you think this way of him then good! it is a good dign he told you by the way, ask him to keep accountability with another (older) christian male.