Need Help

[A-Bomb]

I am almost 15 and struggling with my faith.  I have gone to church, a Baptist church, almost my entire life.  I belong to a pretty good youth group.  For the past three summers, our church has gone to a camp called "Crosspoint".  You may be familiar.  Every year I go, starting with the first year, I accept Christ again and start believing.  But every year as soon as school starts back I fall back into sin and actually turn atheist for an entire year.  Then I go back to camp and I am "reborn".  This cycle has continued for the past three years.  Well, now I have aged out of the camp.  Our church went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee for three days on a winter retreat(dec. 29th-31st, 02), they had great speakers!  I have decided to try and become Christian...again.  I still struggle with doubt, I don't believe.  I mean, I don't think I can honestly tell you that God exists.  But I WANT and STRIVE to think that, I want to believe it!  I have read my bible and still am, pray of course, but what else can I do?  How can I be sure He is there?  I get so depressed and frustrated over this.

You know how they say that God/Jesus fills that "gap" in your life?  That is false.  Believing in Jesus makes life harder and more doubtful, why?!  I don't get it.  Whenever I think in my head "God is 100% real!" I get that doubt feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I just CAN'T have faith in him!  Why?!  I WANT to!  When I ask Jesus to take my sin I don't feel it lifted away.  Should I?  Please...help me.

 

[Blessed-one]

sometimes it takes people many years to work past the obstacles. It's a constant struggle for me too, though for now, i think i've finally got it.

some questions for me, though they may or may not apply to you:

If there wasn't a God, how did the universe come to be?
Can i really find all the answers to life's many questions? (no, i hardly know anything about anything!)
Absolute morality? (no religions ever say it clearly as in the bible! simply love God = love your neightbour)
beyond death? (don't even want to think about it, what a mytery life is in itself)
can i do without God? (um... according to my personality, no)
what has God done for me? (he's given me peace and joy in troubled time. I cannot deny the experience, yet i can forget it?)
faith? (yes, i conclude that i need faith, so i'm gonna seek it and keep praying to God to help me)

Does Jesus fill the gap in my life? (He does, especially the time when i have a long holiday and feel like i'm all empty, plus the time when i felt really dejected. This revelation came into sharper focus when i had my part time job)
Is it worth it? (well, no one says it's easy being a christian, just read all the testimonies.... as well as your own, but i've really learnt a lot by being a christian. If everyone could only be shaped in the Lord's hand, i think the world will become a better place)

*praying for you*

 

[Blindfaith]

Hi A-Bomb, the first thing I want to do is give you a hug .

I, like you, went to church growing up, and even into my young adulthood, but never really believed.  I think that that is more common than people realize.  It wasn't until 5 years ago that I became a believer.  There's so many that struggle with disbelief, so don't think you're alone in this!   God wants you to say to Him, "I just don't know!  Help me to believe!"  And if you pay close attention, He'll show you, some way, somehow.

When that happened, I felt a peaceful presence, but at the same time I felt that being a Christian was harder than being an unsaved sinner.  When you're an unsaved sinner, life is easy because there's no absolutes except for the obvious ones; no stealing, murder, etc.  When you're a Christian though, you're being held to a higher standard.

But you have to take it one step at a time.  Instead of expecting perfection, a person needs to place their trust and faith in the Lord to help see them through.  It's so easy to go through the wilderness searching and seeking and feeling like you aren't finding Him.  I, unfortunately, go through that wilderness more times than I'd like to admit .  But, I heard a definition once, about 4 years ago that I cling to that helps me in my times of disbelief, or dry-spell if you will;

Hope.  Hope for a Christian is much different than for a secular.  Hope for a Christian is 'something which is promised, and you know will happen, but has not yet happened.'  This can ultimately be Christ's return, or something as simple as relying on Him to help strengthen your belief.

Hope for the secular person is almost like a 'wish'.  I sure hope that I get a good job.  Wishful thinking I guess is a good way to put it.

I don't think that God intended for us to have it easy when it comes to faith.  Think of it this way;  if God made it easy, would we rely on Him?  Not me!  When it gets really rough, that's when I lean on Him to help me, even if I'm feeling pretty un-Christ like.  You just need to take it 1 day at a time.  Oswald Chambers has a great little book out that doesn't cost much money at all.  It's like a daily devotional, that's very short.  If you read that in the morning, it may help to sustain you.

I hope this was helpful to you in some way.  If I'm totally off the mark, please let me know!

~Peace in Christ,

BF

 

[tamtam92]

Hi A-Bomb !
I was about your age when i had this sort of doubt. And after i believed, to chase doubt i thought how i felt when i converted. Frankly, i don't remember any special circumstancies, i was in my bedroom, and i cried to the Lord to take all my sins, because i felt i was really sinful. And immediatly a wonderful joy filled me that i even couldn't understand.

But Satan didn't like that, and he came anew. I resisted. That is, Jesus was in my heart and kept me safe.

Keeps praying. Try to tell your relatives to pray for you (i know it's difficult, i didn't myself). I don't remember where it's written "resist the devil, and he will flee away" (version tamtam from french). Read psalms and Timothy. Read testimonies from missionaries.

I can tell you a story of a miracle which proves that God exists.
I know a man who has had a disease for about 27 years. He was paralyzed, and thus couldn't drive (for instance). At the beginning he wasn't christian. He met pentecotists, and there converted, and they said he will be cured, they'll pray, and it'll all change (or sth like that). But it wasn't God's plan. He left pentecotists.
One day he had to go to hospital because he had a sciatica. And one morning, in the hospital, he woke up and he had only his sciatica ! He couldn't believe it and doctors also. He thanked the Lords. No doctor could explain it, his disease is one that cannot be cured. And now, he still cannot drive his car, as he has no authorization. Recognize him as cured officially would have implied complications for the doctors (that's how the french system works !). I've seen him, he's perfectly healthy !!!

And there's plenty of testimonies like that. God's children who don't search miracles, but that God helps wonderfully.

I can assure you, your conversion will not be your victory, but God's. And that's the greatest miracle. We who believe all are miracles, that's not natural.

 

[A-Bomb]

So how do I increase my faith? I mean, how can I say with certanity "God does exist"?

 

[DaveKerwin]

There is no magical way to be confident in God's existance.

It is my opinion that if you trust in Jesus, you cannot be an atheist. Stop denying your maker! There will come a time in your life when you realize certain truths and you will never look back.

In the mean time, you need faith. The Bible says that faith comes by hearing the words of Christ. So break out that dusty Bible and shove your face in it. You might only feel like reading it the first two times, but do not give up. Pray and read God's word. Pray and read God's word!!!

 

[Ben johnson]

So how do I increase my faith? I mean, how can I say with certanity "God does exist"?

Hi, A-bomb. Please go buy a copy of the book, "A Celebration of Discipline" by Anthony Campolo. It speaks of a "disciplined life". I think discipline is what you need, in several specific areas.

Discipline in reading the Bible. Not just "skimming the words", but reading with meaning. Read the entire book of Romans, carefully. The entire Christian perspective is there.
ch1--everyone is given a chance
ch2--hypocrisy, faith (even those who have never HEARD of Jesus can still HAVE Him!)
ch3--all are worthy of condemnation, justified by FAITH
4. Historical faith
5. God's incredible love---Jesus died WHILE we were sinners! Read 17-18, the essence---universal availability of justification, to those who RECEIVE grace and RECEIVE righteousness!
6. Death of the old sinful self, birth of the new ("Born-Again" DEFINED!)
7. HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM---the old nature may be DEAD but it's not GONE, sometimes ALIVE and we sin doing the thing we do not WANT to do!
8. Solution to the problem---walk in the SPIRIT (life!) vs walk in the FLESH (DEATH!) NOTHING will separate us from His love!
9. Israel, God's regard for us; faithfulness, "works vs faith".
10. Salvation is by FAITH through GRACE. "Confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord (faith) and believe in your heart God raised Him from the dead (grace) AND YOU WILL BE SAVED!"
11. Salvation is by BELIEF---falling is from UNBELIEF!
12. Growth and maturity
13. Living in this world (authorities, etc)
14. Conscience
15. Consider your brothers
16. Greet specific people there, watch troublemakers.
17. Fooled you---there is no chapter 17...

When you pray, pray like this:

1. Praise and worship---He is the CREATOR, the LORD of the UNIVERSE! Worship Him in spirit and in truth! THIS is first and foremost in our perspective!

2. Thanksgiving---did you eat today? Are you warm, clothed and fed? MANY are not so blessed. THANK HIM! He never tires of hearing it! Grattitude is the foundation of contentment, the basis of humility.

3. Intercession---pray for your family, your friends, the President, world leaders; prayer DOES move God, and it increases our regard for others as it decreases our natural focus on SELF.

4. Pettition---how often prayer is only this! He's not our COSMIC SANTA, He's our DAD! Take your needs to Him humbly, reverenty---He has promised to meet your needs! What of your WANTS? "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm37:4 The secret is that if you are delighting in the LORD, your desires will be HIS!

James4: "You have not because you ASK NOT; or you ask wrongly, to spend it on your pleasures. Submit to God, resist the devil and he wilil flee from you; draw near to God and He will DRAW NEAR TO YOU!"

Christianity is NOT a belief. It is NOT a dogma, NOT a doctrine, NOT a system of rules. Christianity is FELLOWSHIP with God and Christ! 1Jn1:3,6 It is real on many levels---each of us has views on creation, politics, etcetera; you don't hafta put your brain on a SHELF to believe in God.

AND---the most "evangelical enthusiastic Christian" has times of doubt, when we feel far from God; but God has promised to NEVER LEAVE and NEVER FORSAKE YOU (Heb13:5). In the book "Celebration of Discipline", there is a chapter, "Dark Night of the Soul"---I believe this is his intent. It can be destructive to your faith---or you can use it to strengthen your walk.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

Set aside your own quiet time, preferrably at the START of your day---set your alarm 30 minutes earlier---and spend it with GOD. If you hurt, TELL HIM about it; He will understand, He will CARE.

Pray as I have outlined. Read the Word. If you need the intellectual side, say "evolution", read "Darwin's Enigma" or "Darwin's Black Box".

Just realize that God is REAL---and salvation is fellowship WITH A REAL PERSON!

God LAUGHS.

God CRIES.

God THINKS, and FEELS.

God thinks about YOU, Abomb---His thought of you number more than the grains of the sand.

When you REPENT, He DOES forgive you! Read 1Jn1:9, read it RIGHT NOW. If you don't FEEL forgiven, then STAND on the PROMISE---you ARE forgiven, if you REPENT (turn away, strive not to do it again).

Build the forms for your faith, pour the concrete; as you spend time in Him, the concrete of your faith WILL HARDEN SOLID AND STRONG!!!

May God bless you, strengthen you, mature you---and use you mightily before the world!!!!!

 

[Blindfaith]

Ya.  What Ben said   Excellent posts there folks!

A-Bomb, the one thing you need to remember is when you are saved, you aren't going to know every little thing there is to know.  It's a growth process.  All of us here will continue to grow and to learn, through our faith in Jesus.  We won't know everything until we're face to face with our Savior.

Ben was talking about the book of Romans, which is awesome, because it talks about how we are before we were saved, to being saved, to how we'll be in the end.  Here's what Paul said, very simply and one of your lessons for the day ;

Justification:  When you accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, you are sealed at that time, marked as His.  You are made right with God.  Next;

Sanctification:  This is the process every single one of us, as believers, are going through until the day we die.  You've heard the term becoming more Christ-like?  This is it.  Sanctification is like becoming purified over a lifetime.  Reaching, learning, growing, the fruit of the Spirit becoming more of your entire being........it takes time!

Glorification:  When, as a believer, you are received into Heaven, you are made exactly like Christ.  You are clean, pure and completely sinless, thanks to His saving Grace.

In the back of your bible, do you have a "reading plan" like mine does?  It gives you 365 versus to read in a year?  Read one, not just one day but up for a week until the Holy Spirit reveals everything He wants you to know about that passage. 

If you're doubting your faith, tell God.  He knows you're struggling, but He just wants you to come to Him to talk to Him about it.  He's the most understanding 'person' you'll ever come across   How do you increase your faith?  Faith, in itself, is trusting in something that you cannot see.  Trust that He is really there, and lead you through this one baby step at a time, but you must also do your part.  Read the bible, pray, pray and pray some more.  Talk to Him.  That's what He wants ~ is a relationship with you.

 

[A-Bomb]

Thanks!
So it's ok if my faith is like, 5% right now? It will grow? Did you guys start out like me?

 

[Ben johnson]

If you're doubting your faith, tell God. He knows you're struggling, but He just wants you to come to Him to talk to Him about it. He's the most understanding 'person' you'll ever come across How do you increase your faith? Faith, in itself, is trusting in something that you cannot see. Trust that He is really there, and lead you through this one baby step at a time, but you must also do your part. Read the bible, pray, pray and pray some more. Talk to Him. That's what He wants ~ is a relationship with you.

Awesome, BF!

So it's ok if my faith is like, 5% right now? It will grow? Did you guys start out like me?

You know, there are 6 billion people in the world, and no two of them have exactly the same stories. For some, the Gospel strikes a chord in their hearts, and they receive Christ with all that they are---the change is instant and mountainous. For others (like you and me), faith begins as a "mustard seed" and grows at its own rate.

I remember a preacher once telling of faith---seems there were two kids, a little girl and a little boy, grabbed their ice skates one frosty morning, ran down to the pond---right out onto its frozen surface. Tragically, there was a -CRACK- and the ice broke, they both fell in and drowned. A hundred miles northward, ANOTHER pair of children grabbed THEIR skates and ran to THEIR pond. But the boy stopped the girl at the pond's edge, and tested it with his foot. Then more heavily. Then both feet. Timidly venturing further and further out, they found the ice more than strong enough for both of them---and they began skating joyfully. Which children had the greater faith, and which had the better faith? The FIRST pair had the GREATER faith, but it was faith in something FALSE; the second pair had the LESSER faith, but it was BETTER, because it was in something TRUE.

There is a faith to come to God, Paul says it comes from our own hearts (Rom10:9-10, 17); and there is a faith that comes as a gift from God (Rom12:3, 1Cor12:9). God promised long ago, "you will SEEK Me and you will FIND Me, when you seek Me with all your heart! (Jeremiah 29:11-14).

The posts here are unanimous, Abomb---spend time with Him, pray and read the Word! A Christian bookstore should be able to supply you with a structured Bible study, as BF suggested. There is much to learn from studies, and there is also much to learn just by reading the Bible yourself---it was written by ordinary men, intended to be read and understood by ordinary people---even those fourteen years of age...

 

[A-Bomb]

A quick biblical question.
Why is God killing a bunch of people in the old testament and not the new? it's like god changes his mind.

 

[DaveKerwin]

Originally posted by A-Bomb
Thanks!
So it's ok if my faith is like, 5% right now? It will grow? Did you guys start out like me?

5% sounds like the size of a mustard seed, which the bible says can move mountains. Tell God of your belief, and ask him to help with your unbelief.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Your last question would take a loooong time to answer. The quickest general answer is that you have to understand the culture of the OT times and read the OT in its context.
Moving right along...

I used to read the bible before I went to sleep at night. It was this little gideon's bible of just the New Testament. I would read about Jesus and the things he did and said. I decided that this was a guy I could trust and put my faith in. It is a choice. It requiers some amount of faith. But you make that choice and you stick with it. You don't have many answers to your questions right now. You can start looking for them.
I read that you said you don't "feel" any different after you pray the prayer. Your relationship with God is more than a feeling. If you think about how haywire our emotions are you will realize that they aren't reliable. Our emotions change with the weather and other simple things like that. God is greater than a feeling. It's hard to learn that because we rely on feelings.
What you said about the camps you went to is indicative of this. They send you off to a high charged week and make Jesus a production. It's like "Tonight, in concert, it's Jesus Christ!" Youth camps and things like that are like getting whacked out on crank for a week. That's fine and all, but you have to go back home. Consider camp like Sinai. You are celebrating freedom from bondage. You're free! Well, you gotta leave Sinai and begin the journey in life. That is the wilderness. The Israelites weren't very fond of the wilderness. But your life in Jesus, your relationship with him takes time to grow. You don't come home one day and you are "SuperChristian." It takes time. It takes a lifetime. It is not easy. But I can tell you that it is worth it.
I think that's good enough for now.
Take care little bro.

 

[Ben johnson]

It is a choice. It requires some amount of faith.

EVERYTHING requires faith. How does one believe in evolution? Either by falsifying the evidence himself, or by believing ANOTHER'S false interpretation. Since most of us lack the ability to GO on fossil digs, we are constrained to study OTHERS' work. But there is NO transitional fossil (speaking of transitioning from one KIND to another, not simple SPECIES variants), there is no SUGGESTED MECHANISM for the first cell to become ALIVE. (The leap from the "amino acid biogenesis experiment" to "living, reproducing life" is the greatest leap of faith of ANY religion---by MANY MAGNITUDES!!!)

NOW they realize that the first cell could not have STARTED, unless and unTIL it had a cell WALL! The cell wall, of course, needs DNA and cellular processes TO CREATE it! Which came first???

Life is FULL of faith. Better to have a LITTLE faith in something TRUE, than MUCH faith in something FALSE...

 

[Blessed-one]

Your last question would take a loooong time to answer. The quickest general answer is that you have to understand the culture of the OT times and read the OT in its context.

i agree with Cheese there, even God used ungodly nations against Israel when His own people fell away from him, degrading into the worshipping of idols and all sorts of immorality.
I just finished reading a book that detailed out how the OT relates with the NT. One of the insights the author had regarding this matter: death in the OT, brought about by God's character (He is just) was only a pale shadow compared to the eternal punishment depicted in the NT.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

One thing I am learning is that the OT makes no sense if you don't learn about the history of the times it was written in. I haven't checked out any books on the Ancient Near East yet. Oxford has some good ones on Greeks and Romans and Egypt. But I haven't looked for any good ones that cover the whole enchilada.
Also, I'm learning that the more I know about the OT, the more I realize that I didn't understand the New Testament. I used to think that the OT wasn't important. Oops! Don't make that mistake.

 

[Blindfaith]

Great posts!  I hope their explanations of the OT helped you a little A-Bomb.

Regarding your question,

 

So it's ok if my faith is like, 5% right now? It will grow? Did you guys start out like me

Oh my goodness...hon, sometimes I'm still like that!  It's perfectly fine that you're at 5%.  The big question is, 'are you going to continue with that 5% in faith, then in a while it will become 6%, then 7%, so on and so forth?'  There's absolutely nothing wrong with being at 5%.  

What helped me when I first started my walk (and still helps me today and forever), was needing to get to know Him better, which helped to increase my faith.  Think about it; if you want to become a better reader, what do you do?  You read some more.  If you want to become better at a job, what do you do?  You learn and train for that position.  If you want to be a Christian with a deep faith and trust in Christ, what do you do?  You read, learn pray and talk to Him.  You train, like Paul admonished in the NT.  Be patient...it will happen, but don't give up.

Also, one more point I want to make.  I think it was Mr. Cheese who talked of the SuperChristian.  God chose your everyday sinner, and 2nd born in a lot of cases to write His word, carry the promised seed of Jesus, to prophesy, and to do His work.  He didn't pick SuperHumans to do the job.  He picked people like you, me, Blessed-One, Mr. Cheese, Ben, Dave Kerwin and more. 

Want examples?  Moses is a great one in more ways than one.  You'd consider him to be a SuperPerson of the Bible, right?  What was his response when God told him what he wanted him to do?  (paraphrasing here); "Oh, well, um, can't you choose someone else to do it Lord?"

Paul, is to me, a SuperChristian.  But it took the scales over his eyes to be lifted to see the truth, after his persecution and murder of God's people ~ the Gentiles.

Matthew ~ a tax collector, which in those days were considered "dirty dogs". 

Mary Magdalene ~ a prostitute, big time!  Who did Jesus choose to show Himself to first after His resurrection?  Mary Magdalene.

God is here for the common, and the hurting.  That 5% of faith, that mustard seed, will transform your life, if you're patient and you're willing.  

 

 

[A-Bomb]

danke!

 

[Blindfaith]

Anytime!  We're all glad to come around you and help

Whenever you have a question, just create a thread and I'm sure you'll get some good responses.  Or, you can always pm me, or someone else you feel comfortable with.

Have a great day!!

~BF