need help

[f U z ! o N]

me and my girlfriend are going through hard times right now. one little thing that has come up has been bugging me. she tells me to keep my guy humor and stuff to just me and my guy friends. she doesn't want to hear any of it. i can't say any preverted/silly jokes in front of her. she told me she wants me to act differently around her than i do my friends. this is a bit hard for me to do. i can't act 2 sided. i do respect her wishes and try to not say dumb stuff in front of her all the time but im confused on what to do. im not some 24/7 silly/pervert guy. i just enjoy making people laugh and i say some stupid stuff sometimes.

should i have to act differently around her than with my guy friends?

or should a guy be able to say anything and everything in front of their girlfriend? (within reason of course but you know what i mean)

 

[keyz]

Perverted Jokes vs. Girlfriend

Seems like an easy decision to me. The deeper issue at hand might be respect towards her. A woman may find it disrespectful to her if you're laughing about every fart joke or telling her every fart joke. I even find it disrespectful and annoying. Or it might not be about disrespect, but about, she just doesn't want to hear that crap. It will be disrespectful to her if you don't honor her request.

I think you can still drop the perverted jokes around her without being 'two faced' (you might want to consider getting a new joke book). Think about what you are saying before you say it. You can still be funny without being a pervert.

 

[ChildOfGod20]

it's just a matter of respect. if she doesn't want to hear the perverted jokes then don't say it. it's just like when i told my friend i don't want to hear her cuss. she respects that and doesnt cuss around me. why are you saying perverted jokes anyway? seems like it would fix the problem right there if you were done with that.

 

[Leanna]

me and my girlfriend are going through hard times right now. one little thing that has come up has been bugging me. she tells me to keep my guy humor and stuff to just me and my guy friends. she doesn't want to hear any of it. i can't say any preverted/silly jokes in front of her. she told me she wants me to act differently around her than i do my friends. this is a bit hard for me to do. i can't act 2 sided. i do respect her wishes and try to not say dumb stuff in front of her all the time but im confused on what to do. im not some 24/7 silly/pervert guy. i just enjoy making people laugh and i say some stupid stuff sometimes.

should i have to act differently around her than with my guy friends?

or should a guy be able to say anything and everything in front of their girlfriend? (within reason of course but you know what i mean)

Awww, what you are going through is very normal. I can see you have reached the point that all relationships do where you notice your differences.

I can tell you this. My husband is "himself" around me, and I am "myself" around him. That being said, it is natural that some people find certain kinds of jokes funnier than others.

An example:

This sounds just like what you are describing. My husband enjoys the occasional "fart joke" and the like. This I view as annoying behavior. So he makes those jokes, and receives funny responses, with others who do enjoy it. It is natural as you age to realize who enjoys what humor. Some guys, he makes these kinds of jokes with, other guys he does not. He doesn't with me, because he knows I don't like it. It is a mark of maturity to respect people around you and only make those jokes when they are appropriate.

Another example:

If he were to ball up a piece of paper that came off a straw and throw it at me, I would be annoyed. He knows that. As a result, he is wise enough to ball the paper and throw it at his brother in law instead. Now personally I think he should grow out of this behavior, but apparently the child inside comes out occasionally. I am fine with it, he can ball paper and throw it at anyone BUT me... because that would annoy me. So in this way we respect one another. I am not asking him to be "different" around me, but to not annoy me



In conclusion, it is not really so much that she is asking you to be different around her. She is asking you to please be mature enough to realize when such jokes are appropriate. You can handle this, right?

 

[f U z ! o N]

guess i never saw that part of me. i always wanter her to laugh at them and enjoy a sense of humor but i guess i didn't realize her side of the view.
part of me i guess is looking for someone who accepts them as funny but part of me knows that it is respect.

 

[Leanna]

guess i never saw that part of me. i always wanter her to laugh at them and enjoy a sense of humor but i guess i didn't realize her side of the view.
part of me i guess is looking for someone who accepts them as funny but part of me knows that it is respect.

Well, in the long term.... okay, lets put it this way You know how they say women mature earlier than guys? I am not trying to say you are immature! But as you grow, you will grow and change, everyone does. So girls tend to find those kind of jokes annoying earlier than guys do. Make sense? But I know she didn't choose to date you for your jokes, so there must be some other qualities that she really likes about you. She chose you for who you are and not for your humor. That is worth far more. My husband used to be a lot sillier than he is now... lol

 

[freedom4all]

For me, I like to be around people who joke around a lot, and share my sense of humor. I like those types of jokes, but one of my ex bfs didn't, and would scold me. I felt like he was being judgmental of me in many aspects, including my sense of humor. I started behaving differently around him, and that's when it became no fun any more. He was too uptight for me.

 

[Leanna]

It hasn't affected our relationship at all(him not doing the two things that annoy me), and we've been married for more than 6 years. We are silly in different ways, and laugh about different things. So long as you still have enough in common.