I would like to know if that when a man and woman marry and they did not have God in there life at the time, but later discovered God could that mean that God did not bring them together? If one of the spouses chooses to leave could that be God's will for their life?
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need help with question????????
- Thread starter bugdoddle24
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ephraimanesti
Senior Veteran
MY DEAR SISTER,
It is not possible for an outsider--especially on the basis of only an on-line contact--to say what is, and what isn't God's will for your life.
That being said, there are certain Spiritual Truths in Scripture which pertain to various situations in our lives--including those you have asked about.
#1. Given that God knows the end from the beginning--including who will eventually turn to Him and be saved--it would seem entirely possible that God could and would bring people together knowing that they would eventually be led into the light of His Kingdom together.
#2. However, it is NEVER the will of God that a married couple separate. Jesus was quite clear in stating that divorce, for any other reason than adultery, was prohibited.(See Mat 5:32) Also, St. Paul spoke to the same issue several times.(See, for example, I Co 7:10,11)
The answer is clear from Scripture that walking out on a marriage is not an option for a Christian. If, on the other hand, the spouse of a Christian elects to leave, the Christian is to allow them to go.
There are NO PROBLEMS that can possibly arise in a marriage that two REAL Christians--surrendered to their Lord in love and obedience--cannot resolve with the aid, support, and guidance of God's Holy Spirit of Love. This is why divorce is not considered an option for Christians.
MUCH LOVE IN CHRIST,
ephraim
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T
TrustingmyLord
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I agree with ephraimanesti.
You could sit around and wonder all day.
What if God knew that these two people needed each other, and by marrying, this is a way God had planned to bring them to Christ together.
What if they wouldnt have known Christ any other way?
Why would God come up with a plan like that and then it be his will for them to divorce? It wouldnt.
We will face many struggles in our marriages, and just as God uses things in other areas of our life, we can learn alot about him through our marriage. We go through hard times, but when we learn to trust him, we come out stronger.
You could sit around and wonder all day.
What if God knew that these two people needed each other, and by marrying, this is a way God had planned to bring them to Christ together.
What if they wouldnt have known Christ any other way?
Why would God come up with a plan like that and then it be his will for them to divorce? It wouldnt.
We will face many struggles in our marriages, and just as God uses things in other areas of our life, we can learn alot about him through our marriage. We go through hard times, but when we learn to trust him, we come out stronger.
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jacquidube
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I am in a situation like this now and I believe that God did not bring us together and if either of us wanted to leave we could without feeling guilt.
The reason I believe that God did not bring us together is because God would not of chosen a man who was going to abuse me physically and emotionally. We all make choices that are our own choices and thats why many people turn away from God.
I now know I made the wrong choice in marrying my husband. We have both become christians in the mean time but it doesnt take care of the memories and the scars and the pain. God would not allow anyone to marry a man who was going to beat you and have affairs. Would He?
The reason I believe that God did not bring us together is because God would not of chosen a man who was going to abuse me physically and emotionally. We all make choices that are our own choices and thats why many people turn away from God.
I now know I made the wrong choice in marrying my husband. We have both become christians in the mean time but it doesnt take care of the memories and the scars and the pain. God would not allow anyone to marry a man who was going to beat you and have affairs. Would He?
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I believe that God puts people together for his reasons. No matter what the situation is after you get married. It says in the bible about being unequally yoked and as a Christian you shouldn't leave your husband for anything else but adultry. If he is not a Christian if he wants to leave fine, but who is to say that you as a Christian can turn around his life through the power of God. I am only doubting that we don't belong together because he wants out of it so easily. There has to be alot of forgiveness and understanding in a marriage. My mother has been married to my stepfather now for 17 years and he is not a Christian, but she believes in God and his word that things may change. God dislikes divorce, and if my husband were to divorce me I am going to feel so quilty over it.
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wonderwaleye
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Dear Bugdoddle24
Please show me in GOD'S WORD where it says HE brings folks together.
Now it does say that should a man have sex with a harlot they also become one.
When you have sex together you are one in GOD'S EYES. This is the marriage. The rest is mans doing. Man can join together but unless they become one in GOD'S EYES they are not married.
With that is mind I think that answers the rest of your question.
ALWAYS REMEMBER:
X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven
Please show me in GOD'S WORD where it says HE brings folks together.
Now it does say that should a man have sex with a harlot they also become one.
When you have sex together you are one in GOD'S EYES. This is the marriage. The rest is mans doing. Man can join together but unless they become one in GOD'S EYES they are not married.
With that is mind I think that answers the rest of your question.
ALWAYS REMEMBER:
X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven
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jacquidube
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But how many times do you allow someone to walk all over you. Ok God says we should forgive 77 times (forgive me if I have that wrong) well its something like that, but forgive for what? For not coming home for his tea on time or for beating you again and again. Doesnt seem logical to me. If my husband wants to cheat on me and I keep forgiving him, how many times will he do that? He will of course do it over and over again because I keep forgiving him. More fool me Id say because I put up with it.
I dont want to divorce him but I do have grounds and they are earthly grounds but God does say that we should obey the law on earth also.
Remember God is our Father, would your earthly father allow your partner to keep beating you and advise you to keep forgiving him, I dont think so, I am sure he would kick his butt or do something far worse.
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I'm not ready to say that our marriage is over. I want to be with my husband. I don't want to let the devil in the middle of all this. I don't want my husband to walk out on us.
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I'm very frustrated to see unGodly marriages stay together and then our marriage where we found God together is falling apart. What kind of example does that set for everyone? I don't have it in my heart that God will let this marriage be torn apart.
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ephraimanesti
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MY DEAR SISTER,
"Overriding what we think or believe God's will is for our lives" is spiritual death! Be careful that your advice -- however well-meaning -- does not become a stumbling block for others!
IN CHRIST,
ephraim
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ephraimanesti
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MY DEAR SISTER,
Your prayers and desires in the matter are, i believe, godly, honorable, and in line with God's will as stated in Scriptures. Do you not have a spiritual mentor such as a Pastor, Priest, Elder, Deacon, Counselor, etc. to whom you can turn to for advice, aid in discerning God's will, and support in dealing with this very painful situation. Getting advice on-line is OK, perhaps, but is very risky in that you will get an array of human opinions without really knowing which is from God and which are just human reasoning. You sound like you are in this alone without spiritual support -- which is not a good place to be in this type of situation.
I am sure that the Church where you fellowship must have someone to whom you can turn as a guide and mentor to help you deal with this plight which Satan has injected into your walk with God. If not, i suggest you find a Church that does.
In any event, MAY OUR LORD BLESS, KEEP, AND GUIDE YOU OUT OF THE DARKNESS OF YOUR PRESENT STRUGGLE AND INTO THE LIGHT OF HIS HEALING LOVE, AND MAY HE REWARD YOU ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR FAITHFULNESS TO HIS WORD AND WHAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE HIS WILL FOR YOU. You are in my prayers!
MUCH LOVE IN CHRIST,
ephraim
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vjaine
Senior Member
I am so sorry that your marriage is troubled, I'm praying for you, that God and others will stand with you during this hard time. If your husband walks out, though, God forbid, I don't think you should have any guilt because of that - especially if you are faithful to the marriage. Grief is normal but guilt is taking responsibility for someone else's choice. If that's completely his choice, then your conscience should be clear. I don't mean happy and carefree, but at least you know that you've done your part, if the worse comes to pass.
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jacquidube
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Yes you are right. I have deleted that and my reason for editing was "wrong advice" Thankyou, I only noticed what I wrote after reading your post.
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anonymousAdviser
Regular Member
I am putting in that quote, from your original post, because it is important to deal with. Maybe it wasn't so pretty to say outloud.
Without that, further, all context is removed... and it is difficult to give anything.
There is one reason for divorce, and that is for fornication. A man hates the opposite of what he loves. Men will hate women if they love someone else. It is like Jesus talking about how we can not have two masters... we love the one and hate the other.
So, if you slept with someone else, he has every right to leave you. Otherwise, no, he doesn't have a right to leave you. He is acting out of sin... there is nothing Christian about that.
Relationships are about commitment. That means you are commited to stay together. It is a matter of one's word, at a very deep level. A person who breaks their word in that deep way... is sinning very deeply.
As for you, frankly, I have seen a lot of women have bad men in their lives. If the man absolutely won't try to work things out, you should mourn his loss for a time period, and then move on. If you trust in God, you will surely find someone else much better or in some other way be rewarded for your faith.
As for the godless staying together... some do, but actual statistics show Christians tend to stay together far moreso then unbelievers.
If someone wrongs you, that says nothing of God, because God will ultimately judge them and make that right. But, it says everything about them.
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ephraimanesti
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MY DEAR SISTER,
May God bless and keep you!--and my God grant that i become as gracious as you are!
GOD'S LOVE TO YA,
ephraim
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I don't think it's ever God's will for a married couple to split up. There are some situations where it may be the only choice, but those are few & far between, but those are the resultus of people's rebellious and hard hearts, not God's plan. Remember, even if you weren't Christian at the time, God knew you would come to Him eventually, so He still could've brought you together, and want you to stay together.
I say this because neither my husband nor I were Christians when we were married, and I was saved like 2 years before he was. We went through some struggles and very rough times and at least one issue where most people, even clergy, would've said I had the "right" to divorce him, but we worked through it and it all brough us closer in the end. I really think it was all part of God's plan for us to be together, because some of the things that tried to tear us apart were so wierd & out of character for him it's like they were some sort of demonic influence making him act & think that way, so I would leave him and we'd be divorced.
I say this because neither my husband nor I were Christians when we were married, and I was saved like 2 years before he was. We went through some struggles and very rough times and at least one issue where most people, even clergy, would've said I had the "right" to divorce him, but we worked through it and it all brough us closer in the end. I really think it was all part of God's plan for us to be together, because some of the things that tried to tear us apart were so wierd & out of character for him it's like they were some sort of demonic influence making him act & think that way, so I would leave him and we'd be divorced.
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