Im 18 and ive known this girl for over a year (shes 15)...and ever since we first met weve always been more than friends.....but her parents dont approve of us dating or even for her to be friends with me....they wont let her talk to me or ne thing...because of some bad choices i made before i was christian and before i even met her. I asked them (her parents) if it was ok if i talked to them one day when it was convenient for them.....im really not a bad person ne more and i have changed my life completely around. I have good christian morals and i live a good life....i would never do ne thing to hurt her in ne way EVER! Im kinda confused as to what i should talk to them about...i dont want to ask them if i can date her.....i just wanna talk to them and just open them up to give me a chance to EARN thier respect and trust....but im just not sure how i should talk to them about it....sorry for the long post....but ne help would be appreciated
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Need help with g/fs parents
- Thread starter GeistAufHorizont
- Start date
DaveKerwin
Represent the Most High
first off, I have a fifteen year old sister, and if some 18 year old guy wanted to date her, him and I would have a little "talking" to do.
You said that you are no longer the person you used to be. Is that true? Can people tell real differences between the person you were in your past and the person you are now? What is your motivation behind being a new person?
Trust is not something that can come about from some magic formula, it just comes with being a man of character and integrity. So how are you being a man of character and integrity?
You said that you are no longer the person you used to be. Is that true? Can people tell real differences between the person you were in your past and the person you are now? What is your motivation behind being a new person?
Trust is not something that can come about from some magic formula, it just comes with being a man of character and integrity. So how are you being a man of character and integrity?
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well the whole age thing doesnt bother them....theyve already said that......and yes there is a huge noticable difference from the person i used to be to the person i am now....thing is they wont even take the time to know me.....all they know is the mistakes i made and judged me based on those....theyve never taken the time to ever talk to me or le me prove my worth as a better person...i know that to earn respect i have to show them more than what i expect to earn because they already have that bad assumption of me...and i figured the first thing i can do to show that is talk to them and show them that respect and maturity that they assume i dont have...and when i do talk to them and they still have that opinion of me then ill have no choice but to respect thier decision...but i just want a chance to show them the person i am now
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DaveKerwin
Represent the Most High
yeah, don't force it. If you got fruit on your branches, it will be noticable after a while, naturally noticable. Take it slow and be who God has called you, things will work according to his will, trust in that.
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Warrior Poet
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I was in a very similar situation but i was 17 and she was 15 but it lastested a long time. We were friends met through a youth group had a thing for each other but nothing develpoed cause I wasnt a good guy and her parents hated me, i think they still might. My night life was a big topic for my youth group, her parents were well aware of this. When i turned 18 she was still 16 just by the age issue alone i had to let go of that, it was better for the both of us, but she remained a friend and a very good one at that. Its funny how things work out she is 19 now and we started to talk again, i have even hung out with her parents who seemed very open to me this time around, we are great friends now but this all took time and had to pan out, 18 and 15 dont mix, there is just something not cool about it, that alone i think is enough reason to disaprove of you and her, it would be for me. If its gonna be anything then it needs to start off as nothing, trust and acceptance will come with time, but that is three years before the girl is even legal, take your time walk the walk and let that do most if not all the talking for you.
Warrior Poet
Warrior Poet
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Age difference if something that seems to matter the younger you are. Our daughter was 14 when she began liking a young man that was 18. Big age difference at that age. He was permitted to come to our house and have dinner and maybe watch a movie, and to sit with her in church, but not "date" her until she was 16. He was patient and waited for her. She graduated from high school and they have been married about 3 years now. They seem to be really happy. Maybe her parents need some time. And you will have to understand a 15 year old won't be able to do everything an 18 year old could. Try to show them (her parents) that they can trust you. God Bless You..
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yea shes not allowed to "date" till shes 16 either.....but im not asking for that i just pray they at least see to give me a chance after i talk to them
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GirlForChrist
Desciple For Christ
i've been there and all i can say is that you NEED to ACT like a Christian, and show them your actions, because telling them can seem different
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make sure that God is calling you to a relationship in the first place. Are you sure this is what God wants in your life, or is it something you want? You said earlier that you two have always 'been more than friends' and to me that just sounds like the wrong foot.
Everything starts with God. If you want to have a relationship work out, it should start with God. And even before that, your want to have a relationship should be something you feel that God wants you to do. Like some of the other amigos said, you also need to just act, to show that you are truly a new creation. (2Cor 5:17)
on the same hand (sorta) i want to say good idea, on wanting to just talk to her parents about their approval of you, even if its not to date her. that sounds like the right way to approach it. you also need to be sure that the reason you're doing that is not to just improve your chances of dating her, but only to right your relationship with them. i think (i know) that if you said you were sorry about the way you have been acting, and that you are trying to change your life to follow Christ, and that you hope to be the man that God wants you to be...that they would be realy impressed. but remember why you are doing it! God first!
i'd be glad to talk to you more about this, about how i've gotten to where i am. lets keep posting!
Everything starts with God. If you want to have a relationship work out, it should start with God. And even before that, your want to have a relationship should be something you feel that God wants you to do. Like some of the other amigos said, you also need to just act, to show that you are truly a new creation. (2Cor 5:17)
on the same hand (sorta) i want to say good idea, on wanting to just talk to her parents about their approval of you, even if its not to date her. that sounds like the right way to approach it. you also need to be sure that the reason you're doing that is not to just improve your chances of dating her, but only to right your relationship with them. i think (i know) that if you said you were sorry about the way you have been acting, and that you are trying to change your life to follow Christ, and that you hope to be the man that God wants you to be...that they would be realy impressed. but remember why you are doing it! God first!
i'd be glad to talk to you more about this, about how i've gotten to where i am. lets keep posting!
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yes im not just talking to them to date her........but to at least just be able to a friend to her...i wanna be there if she ever needs someone...but i cant do that if they dont even approve of us being friends.....despite the outcome of me talking to them i know its the rite thing and respectful thing to do......i figured show them i have nothing but respect for them and that im living my life under the plan God has for me....i just didnt realize that plan before i made some bad choices
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W
Worship All Day
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awesome man, it sounds like you are right on track, sounds like God is really working in your life. God knows when you're trying to follow His commands, He will help you out. keep it up, they will see where your heart is.
i think you'll be okay here, they have a thin candy shell!
i think you'll be okay here, they have a thin candy shell!
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I have to think that if her parents disapprove of you that you will not have an opportunity to date her.. they have a great deal of control over her especially since she is only 15.. I think that you should move on and just accept your fate... Warriro Poet has it pegged where you should just not mess with that situation.
Yes there are scenario's where it worked but if the parents are against you then it is doomed for failure
sorry to be blunt.... but you should move on
Yes there are scenario's where it worked but if the parents are against you then it is doomed for failure
sorry to be blunt.... but you should move on
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DaveKerwin
Represent the Most High
just be friends and let who you are come out naturally. don't fake anything and don't force the relationship.
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YouthPastor
Name = Brett
If they do not like you - I do nto think talking to them is going to do alot of good. - you even said they do not want to talk to you or get to know you.
I think in order to get them "open" to alk to you and be open minded about you - you are going to need to show them the changes.
Is there anyway that you can do things for them? Serve them! ie.. mow their lawn, help repair things - this will the door for casual conversation between you and the parents.
Do you go to the same church?
I think at this point, based on what you have posted, they are nto going to be "open" to what you have to say. So My advise is what I mentioned earlier, find a way to serve them - show them you have changed.
You need to remember, this is their baby girl - they are going to be, and rightlyfully so, protective of her.
I think in order to get them "open" to alk to you and be open minded about you - you are going to need to show them the changes.
Is there anyway that you can do things for them? Serve them! ie.. mow their lawn, help repair things - this will the door for casual conversation between you and the parents.
Do you go to the same church?
I think at this point, based on what you have posted, they are nto going to be "open" to what you have to say. So My advise is what I mentioned earlier, find a way to serve them - show them you have changed.
You need to remember, this is their baby girl - they are going to be, and rightlyfully so, protective of her.
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Here's what you do GeistAufHorizont...
Have an older friend of yours the parents do not know dress up like a punk and start calling her and visiting her house. Have him come to church when you and her and her parents are there. When you see this 'stranger' hitting on your friend tell him off in front of the parents.
Have an older friend of yours the parents do not know dress up like a punk and start calling her and visiting her house. Have him come to church when you and her and her parents are there. When you see this 'stranger' hitting on your friend tell him off in front of the parents.
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OrderMySteps
Great is his Mercy.......
My advice is to maybe hold off for a little while or whatever. Me I have problem with age gaps, like my girlfriend is 18 and it bothers me a little bit sometimes. Back to the topic....... They are being protective of there daughter because of her age. They probably think that because she's 15 she needs to be around people her age,not older than her. That's just my view on it though.
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