Sorry to hear, that you are in a crisis of faith. Rather than move back and forth, why not rest in the peace of God that your salvation is assured? I know this is difficult but rest on God's word, He is not going to leave you or forsake you. Either you are a child of God, or you are not. If you have confessed, Jesus as Lord and want to be a part of God's family then it is a settled matter. I agree with the poster that a revelation of God would certainly help, but you can still calm your storm by relying on the scriptures to take a stand against the doubts. Remember the one that asked Jesus to help his unbelief? He was healed, and so shall you. Here is just one avenue to rest your heart on. That God has sealed you. The entire bible speaks to Jesus calling out to you and how you can trust God, and though I focus on sealed in this thread, there are other passages that also emphasize how you are reconciled and met by God, that you have mercy and grace offered as a free gift.
2 Corinthians 1:20-22 (KJV)
20 For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us. 21 Now he which stablisheth us with you in Christ, and hath anointed us, is God; 22 Who hath also sealed us, and given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts.
Ephesians 1:13-14 (KJV)
13 In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, 14 Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.
Romans 10:9-13 (KJV)
9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 11 For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. 12 For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. 13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Every time the thought comes that you are not a child of God, you can rest on Romans 10 and the scripture that says you are sealed. God has stamped you it is a done deal as you have accepted Him. When the doubts come, I suggest thanking Him, for saving you, for sealing you, for His greatness etc.