Need help interperting something

[Nilloc]

I don't really have any experience in this area, so I had to ask.

Last Thursday was my first day of college. I’m in a writing class as writing fiction is one of my favorite hobbies. We had to get in groups for some dumb ice breaker thing. As I talked to the others in my group, I found that one of the girls really likes writing too and gave basically the same answers as I did on the ice breaker questions. We talked a bit more. She asked me what classes I had coming up and I told her. She said she had the same one, but we have them at different times. Then she said—and this is why I’m asking this—that I should change the time of my class to the same as hers.

I’ve never been in a relationship or anything like that before, so I’m not sure if she was just being friendly in what she said or not. Anyone have an opinion? Maybe this is a really dumb question, but as I said, I don’t have any knowledge in this area.

 

[Nanopants]

Do it!

 

[Paulie079]

As soon as I saw a feminine pronoun, I thought to myself, "I should've known this was about a girl..."

Well, whether she was interested in you or not, she was definitely being friendly. It's always fun to have classes with people that you know and get along well with so that was definitely part of what went into her saying that. And you hit it off well today so she probably would like to be friends.

I'm not saying change your class schedule, but figure out a time you guys could just grab lunch on campus or hang out and as your friendship develops, see where things go and respond accordingly.

 

[Nilloc]

Do what?

Edit: Oh. I really don't wanna change the schedule. I would be staying at school two hours later than I would now for a girl who may or may not be interested. Besides, my sister started college Thursday too and that class I talked with the girl I actually have with my sister.

 

[Nanopants]

But, um, wait.

Get her number. Talk. Make your move, whenever you have the opportunity.

Don't just rely on the class-switcharoo because then you might slip into the friend zone and then it would be a slow miserable downward spiral from there.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Honestly, it can equally be that she thinks you're cool (as you and she seem to share the same interests), figuring you might turn out to be a good friend. Or perhaps, again based on y'all's same interests, she has become attracted to you and wants to get to know you better because she's interested.

Either way, it's no big deal. I would look into changing the time of your class to the same time as hers (IF it's convenient for you; don't do anything to make your college life more hectic) and get to know her.

 

[ImperatorWall]

Simple question:

Do you think you would enjoy taking a second class with her?

If yes, do it!

 

[Nilloc]

I'm really not sure how interested she is anyway. We had the chance to talk while walking out of class and she didn't say anything. And I'm not exactly the assertive type, to say the least.

 

[Rhye]

I think it would be better to ask her for lunch around campus then change your class time.

 

[Paulie079]

I'm really not sure how interested she is anyway. We had the chance to talk while walking out of class and she didn't say anything. And I'm not exactly the assertive type, to say the least.

I don't mean this in a mean way--it's just what went through my head when I read this post.

Bro, you just met her. I know how easy it can be to automatically think, "Is this my future girlfriend??!" but like I said before, it's a really easy thing to rush and you really shouldn't rush it. Just become her friend. Forget all of this junk about the "friend zone." God is sovereign over the "friend zone" If He has it worked out for you two to date at some point, it'll happen. But for now, just be her friend. I think the notion (especially put forth by Nanopants) that she's only valuable to you if you can be in a relationship with her is nonsense. Whether you get in a relationship or not, you could still have a great friendship there. But either way, you can't have a great relationship without a great friendship.

So first things first--become friends. Hang out, talk, etc. and go from there.

 

[broken_one]

But, um, wait.

Get her number. Talk. Make your move, whenever you have the opportunity.

Don't just rely on the class-switcharoo because then you might slip into the friend zone and then it would be a slow miserable downward spiral from there.

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS

 

[Paulie079]

No, Seany, have you not learned anything in 4 years of forum membership?

 

[Nilloc]

I don't mean this in a mean way--it's just what went through my head when I read this post.

Bro, you just met her. I know how easy it can be to automatically think, "Is this my future girlfriend??!" but like I said before, it's a really easy thing to rush and you really shouldn't rush it. Just become her friend. Forget all of this junk about the "friend zone." God is sovereign over the "friend zone" If He has it worked out for you two to date at some point, it'll happen. But for now, just be her friend. I think the notion (especially put forth by Nanopants) that she's only valuable to you if you can be in a relationship with her is nonsense. Whether you get in a relationship or not, you could still have a great friendship there. But either way, you can't have a great relationship without a great friendship.

So first things first--become friends. Hang out, talk, etc. and go from there.

I never said I wanted to be in a relationship with her. I mean, it could be interesting I guess. I would like to be friends at least. It just seemed like she ignored me after our initial conversation. Maybe I said something stupid--I have no idea.

 

[Nanopants]

o i c.

Well if that's the case then I wouldn't switch classes just yet. But if you decide she's date-worthy, then the next time you get an opportunity, if you get one, I would take some initiative.

She already showed you that she liked you enough to talk with you. I'm going to guess she would have liked it if you had shown some interest in her.

 

[Paulie079]

I never said I wanted to be in a relationship with her. I mean, it could be interesting I guess. I would like to be friends at least. It just seemed like she ignored me after our initial conversation. Maybe I said something stupid--I have no idea.

But you seem really, really interested in whether or not she's interested in you. But if you have no desire to date, then what does it matter? And that should take some of the pressure off of you too. She's just another human being like yourself, so just make some conversation, ask some questions, and get to know her. The only way you'll even know if she wants to be friends is by talking to her, not reading/deciphering her actions.

 

[m.a.r.X]

Yeah, you are right, its a really dumb question !

 

[K9_Trainer]

It sounds like she just wants to hang out more, she may be interested. I would get her number and see if she wants to study together or something instead of changing your whole schedule around.

 

[Ariadne_GR]

She sounds friendly. Don't change your class time but certainly see about creating opportunities to spend time with her and get to know her.

 

[Nilloc]

But you seem really, really interested in whether or not she's interested in you. But if you have no desire to date, then what does it matter? And that should take some of the pressure off of you too. She's just another human being like yourself, so just make some conversation, ask some questions, and get to know her. The only way you'll even know if she wants to be friends is by talking to her, not reading/deciphering her actions.

I could go either way (dating or friendship); it's really up to her. I just wanna have some idea as to what she wants to do so I don't screw it up.

She isn't like me, because I have no social skills. Huge difference. Thus why I had to ask about something that mundane.

 

[Owlette]

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