Need help fast!!!

[Papabear]

My father passed away a few months ago. My 12 year old son took it hard. He has refused to go to religion classes ever since stating that he doesn't believe in God any more. God would never let this happen. After trying numerous times to explain that God exists and that Grandpa went to visit Him and Grandma in heaven, I brouht him to talk to the Parish Priest. I hoped this would help. But after I brought him home from the meeting, he told me that it was just a waste of time. Finally, I got him to confide in me what the real underlying problem is. If he has been lied to about Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Easter Bunny .. then how can he believe me that God really exists. He said that parents "scam" their kids into acting good by offering Christmas gifts and he now thinks that parents "scam" their kids into acting good by making up God. (He had hinted that he knew Santa didn't exist, so we didn't pursue the topic ... but this was the first time he came right out to make a statement about it.) Has this happened to anyone else and if so, how did you handle the situation about "lying about Santa" but convincing him that you aren't lying when it comes to God.

 

[Blessed-one]

hi Papabear, Welcome to CF!!

i would suggest you to make a new thread in the deeper fellowship or the friendship court forum, um, one the parenting forum wouldn't be too bad either, you should be able to get more answers there.

 

[set free in Christ]

All the more reason I never did tell my kids about them. I wanted him to know that I always told him the truth.

 

[Hands&Feet]

Papa Bear, I think you are fortunate that your son is in such an honest place in his exploration of God. Most kids are indifferent. He is dealing with grief in his own way, and it is normal to be bitter toward God when you are hurting because we feel like we need to blame someone and God makes a good scapegoat. He's a big God; He can take it.

The best advice i can think of is to be 100% honest with him and to try your best to model God's unconditional love toward your son. Be patient, and don't pretend to have all the answers. He is just using the Santa Claus and Easter bunny thing, it's not his real reason. He misses grandpa and it will simply take time to heal as I am sure you already know.

Cover him with love, compassion and understanding of his pain. He is at a very impressionable age. Most people's perception of God is based on how they perceive their earthly father-especially when they are in puberty. Do your best to be like Jesus to him and you won't be sorry. It doesn't always change them overnight, but at least he is thinking and trying to rationalize. It is a lot easier to find God when you are looking for answers than when you are indifferent.
I went through a similar situation with my oldest son when he was that age and it took about 10 years for him to come completely back to God, but our perseverance was worth the effort. I'll keep you both in my prayers, my brother.

 

[cyberwing]

This is the exact reason I never lied to them about Santa Claus or any of the rest of it. My children know Christmas is about celebrating Jesus' birthday. We have a birthday cake and make it more about our Jesus. I always chose to tell my little ones the truth and it never caused a problem, instead it helped them understand a lot of things.

I would admit to your son that you had made a very unwise choice about the santa thing. IT does not make us bad parents to admit to our children we make mistakes....on the contrary I have found it helps my children forgive themselves when they make mistakes, because after all, MOM isn't perfect!
Hands and Feet has given you some good advice too. Take your concerns to Jesus and see what He tells you. HE ALWAYS has the right answer! May the Lord help you find the answers you seek!
{{{cyber-hug}}}
~DJ