Need help discerning a situation

[flowerforever7]

Hi,

I suffer from OCD, so sometimes I need help discerning things. I do believe part of this case is really an issue pertaining to my own sin. If you can help me sort this out, I would appreciate it.

Today I applied for a job. On the way home, I decided I was going to fast from listening to the radio for something. During the drive home, I kept getting thoughts about things I wanted to do, etc. I kept pushing them away because during a fast you are not supposed to seek your own interest. Well, I realized I was feeling really anxious; (most likey because I didn't want to break my fast). Well, I realized that whenever I fast from something I typically get anxious (probably because I want to do what's right and not do what's wrong during the fast). After realizing that I get anxious whenever I fast, I got angry toward God for instituting fasting, in my anger in my mind I started to say d*mn you to the Holy Spirit, but when the begining of the word d*mn started to come out I realized what was happening and immediately tried to put the breaks on in my mind. After I started saying it in my mind I made a sound like "iiiiiiiiiiii" verbally to try to stop it. I am wondering if God counts this as a sin against His Holy Spirit. I was really feeling anger toward God for instituting fasting, and I think in a knee-jerk reaction the I started to say this in my mind. I realized what was happening and tried to stop it. Do you think God counts this as a sin against His Holy Spirit?

Since this happened in response to my fasting on the way home from the interview, and the fast was pertaining to the job, do you think it would be sinful for me to accept a job offer from them, if they did offer me the position?

The last thing I want to do is displease God. Please be honest in your assessment of this situation. I know none of you are God so you can't speak for Him, but please give me your take from a Biblical Christian perspective?

Thanks.

 

[tripletiger1200]

No, this is not the unforgiveable sin. I doubt that it can be committed today, but if it can, the definition in the Bible is completely different from the example you described. I need you to trust me on this and not look the verses about it up, because I know that will cause you to spike more. It usually does for me.
I also don't think it is a sin to accept the job. Chrisitans with OCD and without OCD often turn down or reject God's blessings because they think that it is the correct, selfless thing to do. God does bless His followers, and there's nothing wrong with accepting the blessings. I am not saying that you should be totally self serving, nor am I saying that as a Christian you will not face difficulties and that God has nothing but blessings for you. There was a man in the old testament, Jabez, who asked that God would increase his land. God did. Sometimes we want things, like a job, or a while to relax, or a present to cheer us up. God created pleasure, and all things that are truly good come from Him. This means that you, as a Christian, a child of God, can ask God to give you a job, there is nothing wrong with this, and the Bible encourages people to have gainful employment. It is fine to accept the job, even if your OCD says no. When you have the job, be a good steward of the money the Lord gives you through it, and seek to do the best job at this job that you can, for in doing this you glorify the Lord. You aren't asking for anything ridiculous, just a simple job, and I see nothing wrong with taking what the Lord may choose to give you.
One last comment, fasting can be really bad, especially with extreme OCD. I do not want to say that it is wrong for you to do it, you should follow the Spirit's guiding on this issue. But before you fast, are you fasting because you feel a compulsion to do it, or do you feel a genuine want? Are you fasting to grow closer to the Lord, or are you fasting to make your OCD feel better, or to get a blessing. The latter two answers are not good reasons to fast, or so I believe. Fasting can add extra stress, mental or physical, which can worsen OCD symptoms. Sometimes a little bit of routine and simple comforts can make a big difference in how bad your OCD is for the day. Just something to think about. Anyway, I'll pray for you!

 

[kaykay9.0]

Really good advice from Tripletiger above. This whole situation has OCD written all over it. I think you should definitely take job if offered and you feel it's right for you otherwise. Don't let all this OCD business surrounding it taint the job in your eyes. One has nothing to do with the other. It's only the OCD that tried to get u to make the association.

I also want to address the issue of your fasting as Tripletiger did. I've see some of your other posts about this and I think it's a bondage for you. I hate to suggest to someone to reduce their fasting but in your case,I think it might be good. I really think you should significantly reduce the amount of fasting you are doing... At least for now. I understand this because at one point in my life I was fasting so often and under such bondage to it that my husband asked me not to do it anymore unless I discussed any potential fast with him first! So definitely fast if you really feel the Lords leading but I suspect much of your fasting at this point may be more the OCD's leading than the Lord's. Just saying'....
Also... Regarding fasting.... I think you may be too rigid and legalistic in what you allow or don't allow during a fast. For one thing, there are different levels of fasting--regular fast Daniel fast etc. I just sense that you are too rigid during a fast and that is one reason the fasting had become especially onerous and difficult for you.
Just some things to consider....

 

[flowerforever7]

Hi,

I was fasting for the salvation of the people who worked there. On the way in I fasted for the person I was interviewing with. After I got out of the interview it occurred to me that the other people in the office need salvation to, so I thought that I should fast for that. Sometimes I feel compelled to fast for no reason, this one I think was pretty much genuine.