Need Guidance, Failure

[Zach7]

I am a 22/M and I've been christian for about a year and 1 month now after growing up agnostic. Christ completely changed my life and how I view the world today and He also gave me a life-mission. I knew from the start my mission was to make music for Him and to spread His Word through music. However, I backslid for more than 6 months due to pride and fear.
I repented of this and feel better aligned with Christ (I even heard Him speak to me for the first time which is a great honor) and have been working hard on my music since.

But recently I have been feeling extremely overwhelmed and afraid. I just have a strong sense that time is running out and I haven't been a light for others as I could've been. I have spent the past year being unloving to my family, unloving to those who I have evangelized to locally and I just feel like I've failed to follow in Jesus' footsteps.

My family is also a tough topic. My earthly father has denied Christ and won't talk to me about Him. My mom grew up christian but hasn't really devoted herself entirely to Christ. My little brother is in a similar situation and is more focused on his girlfriend and gaining wealth - despite a lot of conversations I have had with him. And my older brother has denied Christ and I failed to be a light for him because the last time I discussed God with him we got in an argument and I didn't practice self control. I also still love my ex-girlfriend and her family (who I dated when I was lost) and I know she is not saved and I don't know if it will help or hurt to share my testimony with her.

I don't really know why I'm sharing this I just wanted to see if any of you had some advice for me in my situation or are experiencing similar feelings. I do think I am going to hell because I know my devotion and love for Christ is genuine but I don't feel like I deserve the kingdom in my present situation because of my unfruitfulness. Please pray for me. Thank you for reading this. God bless. <3

 

[Messerve]

Well, you need to give yourself time. You've only been a Christian for a year and a month and growth takes time. It's a lifetime of the Holy Spirit showing us our areas of weakness and helping us overcome them little by little. Even the most wise and experienced Christians fail now and then. We'll never stop being human even as we become more and more like Jesus.

I write music too. I hid it for a long time because I thought others would say it was poor quality but it was found accidentally and now I enjoy sharing it with people close to me. You should share some of your music with your family or even write a song about how you feel bad about your attitude and how you want to be more like Jesus who is always loving.

My dad also wrote music in the 70's and 80's and it had a huge impact on his unsaved family members - many of whom say it was his lyrics that really made the Gospel clear to them. My grandpa and grandma and uncle and aunt and my mom... And he still plays some of them at church once in awhile.

Make your music your testimony!

And in the meantime, here's some help to remember to think about what you say.

What We Say

 

[Aussie Pete]

I am a 22/M and I've been christian for about a year and 1 month now after growing up agnostic. Christ completely changed my life and how I view the world today and He also gave me a life-mission. I knew from the start my mission was to make music for Him and to spread His Word through music. However, I backslid for more than 6 months due to pride and fear.
I repented of this and feel better aligned with Christ (I even heard Him speak to me for the first time which is a great honor) and have been working hard on my music since.

But recently I have been feeling extremely overwhelmed and afraid. I just have a strong sense that time is running out and I haven't been a light for others as I could've been. I have spent the past year being unloving to my family, unloving to those who I have evangelized to locally and I just feel like I've failed to follow in Jesus' footsteps.

My family is also a tough topic. My earthly father has denied Christ and won't talk to me about Him. My mom grew up christian but hasn't really devoted herself entirely to Christ. My little brother is in a similar situation and is more focused on his girlfriend and gaining wealth - despite a lot of conversations I have had with him. And my older brother has denied Christ and I failed to be a light for him because the last time I discussed God with him we got in an argument and I didn't practice self control. I also still love my ex-girlfriend and her family (who I dated when I was lost) and I know she is not saved and I don't know if it will help or hurt to share my testimony with her.

I don't really know why I'm sharing this I just wanted to see if any of you had some advice for me in my situation or are experiencing similar feelings. I do think I am going to hell because I know my devotion and love for Christ is genuine but I don't feel like I deserve the kingdom in my present situation because of my unfruitfulness. Please pray for me. Thank you for reading this. God bless. <3

Thank you for your honesty. Your situation seems about normal for someone for a new Christian.

God has a wonderful plan and purpose for our lives. The problem is that we do not know how to work with Him to bring His purpose to pass. We usually try to work things out the way we've always done. We soon discover that it does not work.

There are several ways to respond. Some say that it's too hard and quit being Christians. Some try harder and get even more frustrated. Some seek the Lord and ask for His will, in His time, by His wisdom and power.

We need to know the truth so that we may be set free. First, we need to know that God is not interested in the nature that we inherited from Adam. We do not sin and then become sinners. We are sinners from birth and so sin is outworking of out nature.

God has provided the total salvation that we need. The whole of Christianity centres on the Cross. God takes me, the sinner, puts me into Christ retrospectively and I am crucified with Him. You may wonder why. Surely there is both good and evil in us? Could God remove the evil and leave the good? Most Christians presume that this the case. The simple answer is no. I bought an apple once. It looked perfect on the outside. Inside it was flecked right to the core with rot. There was half white, good apple and half brown rot. I could have wasted hours trying to separate the good from the bad and never got it completely right. Much easier to ditch the apple and buy another. God deals with the old nature the same way. We die with Christ and are buried with Him through baptism.

A dead Christian is not much use. We won't do anything evil but neither can we do anything good. So God gives us a new nature, which does not sin. He does this again through Christ. When Jesus rose again, we were raised with Him. We are new creations, the old has passed away and the new is ours right now.

If you can see this incredible truth, you are on the way to victory. When we agree with God's judgement, accept that Christ is now our life, and ask Him to live in and through us, we begin to experience the reality of our salvation. We will still go through tough times, but we have the victory whether we feel like it or not.

It takes a lifetime to work all this out in experience. But the journey starts with accepting our co-death with Christ and our resurrection with Him.

 

[Anthony2019]

I came to faith in Christ about the same time as you.
Over the years that followed, I had a whole catalogue of failures, mostly because I was a stubborn little blighter that wanted to do things his own way and not God's.
25 years of triumph and tragedy, God is still head over heels in love with this shrivelled old prune. So I'm pretty confident He is still head over heels in love with you.

 

[Tolworth John]

do think I am going to hell because I know my devotion and love for Christ is genuine but I don't feel like I deserve the kingdom in my present situation because of my unfruitfulnes

No on who belongs to Jesus will end up in 'Hell' equally no one who belongs to Jesus thinks that they deserve any of Jesus's love, mercy and grace.

May I make two suggestions.
1 get involved in a church. I mean involved, be there every Sunday, if there is an age appropriate group for you join it and be there on time every week. Ask if there are any, repeat any areas in the church where you can help. Be there every time.
2 learn about Christianity, read sites like coldcasechristianity, read your Bible, read a daily set of Bible reading notes, read more demanding sites like answersin genesis, tough questions answered, reasonable faith and seek to live as best you can, despite your failures ( and we All fail ) live to honour Jesus.

Two questions that are useful.
Why do you believe that?
What evidence do you have for that view?

Use them in talking about your faith and be sure that you to can answer them.

 

[Messerve]

I came to faith in Christ about the same time as you.
Over the years that followed, I had a whole catalogue of failures, mostly because I was a stubborn little blighter that wanted to do things his own way and not God's.
25 years of triumph and tragedy, God is still head over heels in love with this shrivelled old prune. So I'm pretty confident He is still head over heels in love with you.

"shriveled old prune"?? My brother and I use a similar phrase to refer jokingly to old people. Never to their faces, of course! We originally found it in a book of insults, so... Also, a "basket of prunes" to refer to a group of old people. Haha

But back to the subject...