Need Godly advice...

[churchgoer123]

Hello,

I need some advice. Presently i am in a situation where i need to make a decision. (between 3 options, most likely)

It has to do with girls. I am a teenager, and I am trying to find a mate. There are 3 girls that I sort of like.

The choices I have in mind (or that He has put in my mind):

Girl 1. She is my age. She has known me for about 4 years. We are somewhat friends, and I think she has a thing for me. She is a kingdom-seeking Christian, with a mature walk with the Lord. (not just "saved" -although there is nothing wrong with a girl just starting her walk... acually, all 3 of these girls are mature with the Lord) And I sort of like her back. I really don't have the best opportunities to talk with her, exepy in the halls and stuff.

Girl 2. She is a bit younger. I really don't know her that well, actaully, harldy at all... and she would be my last pick from these chicks (however that wouldn't be a dissapointment) All I know is she is cute... She is best friends with one of my female friends, so i could be easly "linked" to her via my friend. And she is also a God-fearer. And I really don't think she even knows me at all...

Girl 3. she is a younger too.This would be my first choice, if I had to pick. (she is the one who gives me the "tingly, emotional feelings" inside. I am so attracted to her ) She is in one of my classes, and i have the best chance to talk to her of all of them. and i think she likes me, pretty sure of that. She is a Christian also.

But here's the problem... i have received a few "signs" regarding Girl 2. The signs were...

#1: i was thinking of her (not romantically) and i then all of a sudden looked up and saw her name written on a locker decoration... it kind of stood out.. very spontanious...and I know it had to do with "spirits"
#2 same as above... but this time, it was a billboard (the business name is her first name... a HUGE billboard, that is... again, obviously spiritual)

Now, I know that 1/3 of the angels are evil... and do evil, nasty things. They have started many cults, and have led millions astray. SO i am VERY skeptical of signs and supernatural guidence. I have recived MANY, MANY, lying signs that have thrown me off track (for a while i thought the lord was telling me to marry my cousin... and i would bloody hate that... and it wasn't Him... also, many other wierd, ungodly signs that most definetely were not Him)

So what's going on? I am going to ask one of these chicks to prom... but I don't know what to do... Could he be saying just to "not forget about #2... she could be a possibility"... or is he saying "ask out #2 as a date for prom... or is he saying "#2 is going to be your wife..." because so far.. i have had about ten differnt chicks that i thought were "of the lord" and none of them were.

I have been praying for THY WILL... for months upon months... and I trust Him with everything... I have layed this decision on the alter... His will will be done... (haha, "will will".. two words in a row, meaning diff. things... nevermind im dumb.)

so, to sum up... the three chicks were... "friend, stranger, and girl I like.. or maybe neither."

But I trust God... just not the evil angels... so, there is a 66.66666% chance that this is of God (or so to speak)

What should I do? any mature, Godly advice?

 

[Radagast]

...I am a HS senior, and I am trying to find a mate.

Hey! Let's not rush here! You're deciding on a prom date, not a wife!

There are 3 girls that I sort of like.

We can't pick for you. But you need to choose someone you're friendly with, and attracted too, and who is a Christian.

...she is the one who gives me the "tingly, emotional feelings" inside. I am so attracted to her )

That sounds big. I don't think you could be fair to another girl unless you resolve that, one way or another.

But here's the problem... i have received a few "signs" regarding Girl 2.

These sound like coincidences, not real signs. Not "obviously spiritual" at all.

I have recived MANY, MANY, lying signs that have thrown me off track

So you've been too quick to say "it's a sign" in the past. Reason to be careful now.

So what's going on? I am going to ask one of these chicks to prom...

Having to make that decision for yourself is part of your growth as a person, and a child of God...

-- Radagast

 

[fishstix]

You described #1 as a friend, #2 as someone you barely know, and didn't specify for #3. As far as the prom date goes, pick someone based on how well you know them and get along with them as friends rather than based on how pretty they are or whether they make you 'emotionally tingly'. From the description you gave, that sounds like #1, as you didn't specify how well you know #3. And don't get ahead of yourself - a prom date is hardly a marriage proposal. It doesn't sound like you know any of these girls well enough yet to be considering anything serious.

 

[CWLite]

Dude, don't chose. It is God's choice, let Him choose. Just be patient. I don't believe in coincidences, cause they say that God is not in control. Just asked God to arrange it and live out your life. It is not God's desire for you to date around untill you find the right one, your future wife should be your first one. It wouldn't be out the question that non of them are the right right choice. Pray and wait on the Lord.

 

[halfgallon]

This is interesting. Normally I would say you could deign to favor chick number 3 with this excellent opportunity, but if you've worked your way through 10 faux-Christian cuties already... was there really something wrong with them, or did the relationships just not last?

I don't think you can expect too much from a relationship or a woman in high school, but if you really think you've consistently picked badly so far, then I'd say avoid whatever method you used to choose those babes. If you liked them the way you like #3, then maybe she's not such a hot idea after all - you may be attracted to something that's bad for you.

It should be easy to arrange some low-key opportunity to see #2 with a group of people if you're really interested, but I would discount this sign business entirely. Normally, I'd say your feelings for #3 or your friendship and respect for #1 are much stronger messages. Anyway, if God has a horse in this race, he's more than capable of making her come in, as it were.

*blush*

 

[churchgoer123]

thank you... what I meant about "10 girls" was the signs. I started following signs. and thje devel threw me off track. so i need to be skeptical, but not forget about signs completely. God, however, speaks to everyone diffently (dreams, visions... coincidences)
and that coincidence (and many others like that) just seem too coincidental to not be spiritual.

it would be like this:

lets say joe is going to either be a doctor or a chef. he prayes in his living room, and the TV is on. he says "lord what do you want me to do" and the INSTANT he says that, he hears on TV "so i talked to my doctor" on a commercal

now, one could say that was a scientfici coincidence, or a spiritual coincidnce. one of the two. but that coincidence needs to be taken skeptically, and not rushed into. that sign would not mean 'this is what you re going to do for the rest of youre life, joe, becuase i said so..." it would be more like "joe i heard the medical feild has good opportunities... maybe you should check it out" the signs don't make our decisons (that's where i went wrong... i just was following the signs... almost like a witch)

so maybe the lord is making this complicated for me for a good reason... that is, so i don't rush into anything. if he "tells me to do this", gives me the desire to do something else, and gives me another door of opportunity, maybe it's him saying "i take care of it, bud."

maybe he's like an air traffic control... as I hold short of the runway, he says "cleared for take off, clearence cancelled, and clear the runyway" all at the same time... i wouldnt know what to do... i just would take off, that's all..

 

[churchgoer123]

oh and i know #3 pretty good... and i think she SORTA likes me. but my old friend really likes me i guess... but i really don't like her much that way... but who knows

 

[joyousliving]

I have another option for you....

Don't go to the prom. The night is filled with all manner of activities that are not appropriate for Christian men and women. It is also an extremely expensive evening.

I didn't go to prom and I have never once regretted not going.

 

[JWBZ SVT]

I went to my Junior prom but didn't go to my senior prom and I haven't regretted that at all. As far as the girls go here's my $0.02 worth, so feel free to keep the change:


Finding someone who truly loves you and likes you is a rare find. Beauty fades and what will hold you together is Godly love, respect, and her being your best friend. I learned this the hard way through divorce (not that my ex wife truly loved me but I learned how blessed you are when someone does.) You are 18/senior in highschool. Focus on the friendship and if you like a girl, go easy and be friends. 6-7 years from now, you will have changed, matured, and gained experience that is immeasurable to where you are now. Have good clean fun and keep the girls at a less intense level than your spiritual walk. The only spiritual sign we need is "Follow me." Be cautious about looking for signs, "This is an evil and adulterous generation who seeks after signs..."

I would say be honest with yourself about what your intentions are with the girls. If romance is on your mind then go for the one who you have the romantic interest/emotional tingling. If friendship is what you want, then go with the one you are better friends with. However, looking at the big picture, maybe God wants you to see that all three of the girls possess something that you like and that you can have all three in one. God Bless you in your decision and please let us know what you choose.

 

[Chief117]

I am getting married soon, so I might have some advice that will help.

I was like you in high school. I had girls that I liked, had situations just like the one that you are in, etc. etc. The one thing that I realize now is that thinking like that was the barrier that kept me from giving total control of my life to Christ.

I think you are more or less saying (not picking on you, just making an analogy from my experience to your situation), "Lord, my life is in your hands. I will let you choose my wife for me. But if you could please decide between these three women..."

It is kind of like I am giving Him suggestions. I swear to you, the minute I stopped thinking like that (and it took a long time to get there), my whole concept of life and love completely changed. The minute I sat back and decided not to pursue any of those girls, girl #4 came in my life, and now we're gettin married in a week from this Saturday.

Also remember this: love in relationship to marriage is more of a covenant, commitment, and choice than it ever will be that tingly feeling you get around girls. The feelings you describe are what some people call "the in-love experience." Doctors/statisticians say the average "in-love experience" lasts 2 years. When that feeling wears away, you are stuck with whatever is left. And I promise you, if it is not true love that is left--that is with God at the center, with your love actually being His love--then whatever you have will be miserable for all of your days.

Don't be anxious, but devote yourself to live a selfless life, and you will realize that God had a plan for you. A plan not to harm you, but to prosper you, to bring you joy and bring Him glory.

I hope that helps. God bless!! (and good luck...)

 

[churchgoer123]

hey... guess what... i'm goin' ta prom. I

t's not immoral. I won't get drunk. I won't screw. I won't fight.

What's wrong with prom?

 

[JWBZ SVT]

hey... guess what... i'm goin' ta prom. I

t's not immoral. I won't get drunk. I won't screw. I won't fight.

What's wrong with prom?

IMO, the only wrong with prom is how BORING it is!!!! That's why I didn't go my senior year. The girl I took to my junior year was pretty, nice, etc...but the prom itself was still boring.

I hope you have a blast!

 

[Chief117]

hey... guess what... i'm goin' ta prom.
It's not immoral. I won't get drunk. I won't screw. I won't fight.

What's wrong with prom?

The problem a lot of people have with Prom is the things you just mentioned. Is it possible to attend such an event and not participate in these things--and simultaneously participate in the things Prom was designed for?

Absolutely. It's just the culture of today. Dancing, for instance, in today's culture is meant to imitate sex--or at least to excite each other along those lines. Many Christians rightly have a problem with this behavior.

Instead of persuading you not to go, we should have attempted to remind you that God is watching you while you're there--be respectable and gentlemen like, not like these others who are going to be "bumping and grinding." You should not take part in this.

Other than things like that, have a great time at Prom!