Need clarification on lust

[Jasiony]

hello and thanks for reading, I've been visiting this site for a few weeks now and finally needed some advice on this topic. So some backround info first, I'm 19 and do some part time work for a small video shoot company. This past Sunday we did a shoot for a kind of airline show that was riddled with sexual themes, this included the women on set. Their uniforms for the airline were extremely short and I couldn't help everytime I looked to just feel a sexual attraction. now it all happens so fast in my head and I'm wondering what exactly qualifies as lust? Is me looking at one of them and feeling a sexual attraction before I even make a conscious thought lustful sin? I'm already assuming it is and if so how should I deal with this? any advice is appreciated.

 

[laconicstudent]

Not really, because arousal is partly involuntary, so it has nothing to do with what you are consciously thinking on some level.

 

[Jasiony]

So lust is a conscious choice?

 

[Macx]

Yup. All sin is a conscious choice, the def. of sin is the willful turning away from God's will. This is why we reckon young children and the mentally handicapped as innocent, they don't know or understand . . . so they can't "sin", just as an animal is confined to act within its intelligence and instinct, animals can't sin. Sins can be acts or ommissions but they can't be without choice.

If you took images you remember in your head and dwelt on them & used them to think perverse thoughts & when you relized you were doing it, chose to think harder & remember more . . .. then ya'd be getting into the sin of lust. Just saying to yourself "man, that is a fine looking woman" even if in cruder terms, is merely acknowledging the truth of the world around you. In short, looking isn't a sin either. The sin is or isn't, depending on what you do inside your head with what you see.

 

[Jasiony]

Alright, thank you both for the responses. It's cleared this nagging thought up for me.

 

[Johnnz]

Sin requires deliberate intent to break a moral standard given the opportunity. Mere sexual arousal falls far short of that.

John
NZ

 

[christandisrael]

It's the motive of your heart....

 

[Peripatetic]

If you stare and let your mind race with possibilities, it's moving towards lust. I know that I have friends that gaze longingly at a good looking waitress and say rude, sexual things. That is lust. Appreciating someone's beauty (even if it includes sexual attraction) is fine as long as you move along with your life. And if you are single, it's certainly OK to admire and think about someone that you want to date as long as it doesn't become sexually obsessive.

 

[lost-sheep]

I am reminded of Casting Crowns song Slow Fade. "Be careful little eyes what you see It's the second glance that ties your hands As darkness pulls the strings"
Look once and look away. That one look doesn't mean you stare for 10 minutes. There is a difference in seeing the beauty in a women and lusting over Gods beautiful creature that isn't your wife.

Its all mental strength. If you see an attractive women instead of going for the lustful spots (you know what I am talking about) look at her face and don't let your eyes go anywhere else. If you find them looking else where then look at something else like the building you are in etc.

 

[igit09]

no bud, it just makes you a bloke, willfully recalling your experience for self gratification on the other hand would in my opinion be sinful

 

[Jasiony]

Hmm, the dwelling on said females is sinful as I've come to understand from these posts. Now lost-sheep you said its all mental strength, what bible verses are there that could help in that mental strength? I know that I've allowed my mind to "dwell" and I have to go back Sunday to film, but I wouldn't mind having a verse or two to repeat and keep myself in check.

 

[suzybeezy]

Here's some scriptures for your review - hope they come to mind during your next filming.

James 1
12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

1 John 2
16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.

Philippians 4
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 

[lost-sheep]

Hmm, the dwelling on said females is sinful as I've come to understand from these posts. Now lost-sheep you said its all mental strength, what bible verses are there that could help in that mental strength? I know that I've allowed my mind to "dwell" and I have to go back Sunday to film, but I wouldn't mind having a verse or two to repeat and keep myself in check.

See verses above. I dont have any specific verse just something I have learned. It will be a fight for sure, God sure did make them beautiful .

The verse that I try to remember is Mark 9:47 And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell.

Just pray for Gods strength and dont beat yourself up. Praying for you.

 

[Jasiony]

Suzybeezy thanks for the verses I'll commit those to memory. And yes lost sheep he did make them pretty,also thanks for the prayer.

 

[aMancalledDavid]

If you can look without lusting after her, then it is no sin; but since you are a man and men retain sexual gratification from their eyes, I highly doubt you can. I know I cannot. Jesus stated in His Sermon on the Mount that if any man look after a woman as to lust after her, hath committed adulterey with her in his heart already. Men have the misconception that they can look or remember and play around with the image or fantasy in his head, and that is ok. In God's eyes, you might as well have physically done what you were thinking or imagining. This is a strict standard to live by, and believe me, I have my problems with it as well. Try this technique: everytime an attractive woman comes your way, bounce your eyes to another object... this technique starves the sex drive, and in due time, reduces the lust.
This goes for all God's people, male, female, straight, homosexual. Sexual lust and immorality is a universal sin.

 

[Johnnz]

If you can look without lusting after her, then it is no sin; but since you are a man and men retain sexual gratification from their eyes, I highly doubt you can. I know I cannot. Jesus stated in His Sermon on the Mount that if any man look after a woman as to lust after her, hath committed adulterey with her in his heart already. Men have the misconception that they can look or remember and play around with the image or fantasy in his head, and that is ok. In God's eyes, you might as well have physically done what you were thinking or imagining. This is a strict standard to live by, and believe me, I have my problems with it as well. Try this technique: everytime an attractive woman comes your way, bounce your eyes to another object... this technique starves the sex drive, and in due time, reduces the lust.
This goes for all God's people, male, female, straight, homosexual. Sexual lust and immorality is a universal sin.

The common view on that verse in Matthew is sadly astray.

But more importantly, the bouncing eyes teaching would fall under this condemnation by Paul:

Col 2:20-23

20 Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: 21 "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? 22 These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. 23 Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence. NIV

It really does not address far more important issues.

John
NZ

 

[aMancalledDavid]

No arguments, but I know what the Spirit says to me about that verse in sermon on the mount.
It appears that you are saying that sexual immorality is not important, and we should not worry about it?
Even letting a sensual image in one's head can most certainly defile the mind depending upon how that person uses the image.
And if you want to go even further, teaching a technique that keeps someone away from sexual immorality is not a teaching of this world, but indeed something that keeps one with Christ.
The basic principle of the world we live in is to look after a man or woman and lust after them; I am telling him to do the opposite.
Now, I think what Paul is referring to here is the Jewish regulations about clean and unclean they derive from Leviticus that the Juadiazers were imposing upon the gentiles during Paul's ministry.
Paul himself taught a great deal about sexual immorality and how we are to 'flee' it.
Answer me this, is throwing the 'look away' technique out the window and looking upon a woman or man in lust 'fleeing' sexual immorality?

I don't like argueing, but I feel as though you have misunderstood my advice. Am I saying that I know it all? Not at all, just saying; Don't attack a technique that has helped me in sustaining sexual purity in my mind. Which, that is what this topic is about.

 

[aMancalledDavid]

Now, I will say, that focusing on CHRIST and living your life for Him will take care of the sexual immorality; but in severe cases of lack of temperment, techniques do help. Focusing on Christ through all is the far more important issue; and living your life for Him is just as important; which sexual purity falls into that category! I hope you understand where I am coming from, I apologize if my post was a tad argumentative or 'catty', not my intention. I want understanding and mosty of all: Unity.

 

[Peripatetic]

There is certainly a middle ground between looking away every time a woman is in your field of vision and allowing yourself to stare in lust. You want to avoid making it a rule that can lead to self-condemnation and guilt cycles that harm your relationship to God. I just try to be consistent. In other words, if an unattractive woman walks by, I will probably look at her, maybe a quick smile of acknowledgement, and move on. If the woman is attractive, I should do no more or no less. So while I probably shouldn't crane my neck for a second look, or give a more flirtatious smile, I don't want to be rude and look at the ground as I walk by either. If I'm in a meeting at work and someone is attractive to me, I just make a conscious effort to look at her no more or less than the others in the room. Not always easy, but it works for me.

 

[aMancalledDavid]

There is certainly a middle ground between looking away every time a woman is in your field of vision and allowing yourself to stare in lust. You want to avoid making it a rule that can lead to self-condemnation and guilt cycles that harm your relationship to God. I just try to be consistent. In other words, if an unattractive woman walks by, I will probably look at her, maybe a quick smile of acknowledgement, and move on. If the woman is attractive, I should do no more or no less. So while I probably shouldn't crane my neck for a second look, or give a more flirtatious smile, I don't want to be rude and look at the ground as I walk by either. If I'm in a meeting at work and someone is attractive to me, I just make a conscious effort to look at her no more or less than the others in the room. Not always easy, but it works for me.

I see what you are saying! I do agree, guilt is sometimes needed though, but not constantly. Basically this is what I mean; If you cannot look upon a woman or man as the beautiful creation and child of God they are, don't look at all. But if you can look without viewing them as meat, no bad there. There is a difference between looking at someone to say Hi and gawking and drooling after someone. We must seek to not pervert good things.