we have dated for about two years and three months now, but once the marriage issue comes up, bf acts so confused. In the past when ever i brought up the topic, he always became admamant on the fact htat 'he wasnt sure if it was me'! then we would decide to call it quits since the relationship was going no where, only to come back within four or five days and get closer. this has happened about nine times.
the last time we had this conversation again, this time, he refused to allow a break up, and explained that he loved me and didnt want to lose me, but was yoyo about it, that he would be sure it wa me today and tommorow he isnt sure. so we stayed together.
However, he introduced me to his parents, siblings, and i had been talking to his parents over the phone. Last month, he decided i would go and spend easter with his parents, which for me seemed to be a very big step. We had been planning very well for it, only for him to call me last week, that he was having second thoughts about my visiting them.
That he felt once i visit them, it would mean that he had finally decided it was me he wanted to marry (thats the way its done in my culture. I am African, and once you bring a girl to your folks, you are indirectly telling them you want to marry her). so i was [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth]ed and asked him what the hell was the problem that i was tired of going in circles.
He replied that HE was just still not sure.
I asked okay, did he want more time to think? he said he didnt know. I asked if he wanted a break up? he said no. But he wasnt yet sure of marriage or what he wanted. That he doesnt want to get married and start wondering 'what if?' later on.
So i asked him finally, what he wanted, and he said 'Jaygirl, i have told you, i cannot make any marriage promise or marriage assurance'. and he didnt say anything else.
I was so upset that i told him that we needed a break. that he needed to sort out his feelings. i told him not to contact me because i actually was planning to do No contact, because i think it would help him sort out his feelings.
We are very very close, we eat lunch together at work everyday, talk and bbm every single day, see every weekend, everyone even his friends think we are getting married. he is 29 this yr, i would be 28. he says he wants to get married by thirty. so i dunno his problem. i dont want to still be here and he would be busy searching for others behind my back.
I have been fasting a praying about this but havent heard anything from God yet.
What do you guys think?
should i have waited?
the last time we had this conversation again, this time, he refused to allow a break up, and explained that he loved me and didnt want to lose me, but was yoyo about it, that he would be sure it wa me today and tommorow he isnt sure. so we stayed together.
However, he introduced me to his parents, siblings, and i had been talking to his parents over the phone. Last month, he decided i would go and spend easter with his parents, which for me seemed to be a very big step. We had been planning very well for it, only for him to call me last week, that he was having second thoughts about my visiting them.
That he felt once i visit them, it would mean that he had finally decided it was me he wanted to marry (thats the way its done in my culture. I am African, and once you bring a girl to your folks, you are indirectly telling them you want to marry her). so i was [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth]ed and asked him what the hell was the problem that i was tired of going in circles.
He replied that HE was just still not sure.
I asked okay, did he want more time to think? he said he didnt know. I asked if he wanted a break up? he said no. But he wasnt yet sure of marriage or what he wanted. That he doesnt want to get married and start wondering 'what if?' later on.
So i asked him finally, what he wanted, and he said 'Jaygirl, i have told you, i cannot make any marriage promise or marriage assurance'. and he didnt say anything else.
I was so upset that i told him that we needed a break. that he needed to sort out his feelings. i told him not to contact me because i actually was planning to do No contact, because i think it would help him sort out his feelings.
We are very very close, we eat lunch together at work everyday, talk and bbm every single day, see every weekend, everyone even his friends think we are getting married. he is 29 this yr, i would be 28. he says he wants to get married by thirty. so i dunno his problem. i dont want to still be here and he would be busy searching for others behind my back.
I have been fasting a praying about this but havent heard anything from God yet.
What do you guys think?
should i have waited?
