I'm needing some help. I'm a survivor that has come a long way. I'm no longer bitter or angry about my abuse. I forgave my abuser two weeks before he died and wish now I'd only seen how truly broken he was and how much he was also a victim of the cycle so that I could have had more time with him. I only give that information because I'm asking for book recommendations, but I don't want recommendations for books that deal with forgiving my abuser. Actually, I'm getting married in two and a half months, and what I need are a few book recommendations. One or two for me that deals with preparing for sex within marriage (obviously, we are not going to be going into this as a couple with no sexual issues) in a sensitive way specifically for sexual abuse survivors, and one or two for him that deals with how to understand an abuse survivor, how to deal with an abuse survivor, how to be sensitive to an abuse survivor's needs all around, especially including the sexual relationship, as that is what I still need to heal. He's a counselor, so he's far beyond where most guys may be, but he's still a guy. I'd looked into Kevin Leman's books because I heard they were good, but they don't really deal with a sexual abuse survivor's needs and I've heard that some of the language is pretty infantile and can be seen as abusive.
I guess what I really need is this: A Christian engaged woman abuse survivor's guide to preparing for sex within marriage and A Christian engaged man's guide to preparing for sex within marriage with your abuse survivor future wife.
Anyone know of anything like that? We're already doing devotionals and preparing for marriage and getting ready for our pre-marital counseling, but I know we are going to need some extra help in this area specifically.
p.s. I'm in counseling going through EMDR therapy, so I'm going to ask my counselor for recommendations, as well, but I wanted to get some opinions for fellow survivors who may have already been down this road.
I guess what I really need is this: A Christian engaged woman abuse survivor's guide to preparing for sex within marriage and A Christian engaged man's guide to preparing for sex within marriage with your abuse survivor future wife.
Anyone know of anything like that? We're already doing devotionals and preparing for marriage and getting ready for our pre-marital counseling, but I know we are going to need some extra help in this area specifically.p.s. I'm in counseling going through EMDR therapy, so I'm going to ask my counselor for recommendations, as well, but I wanted to get some opinions for fellow survivors who may have already been down this road.
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