I need advice...I have been a christian for just barely a year...I have hit this lull...this spiritual limbo land. I talked with my pastor who after a few meetings have nailed down that I have a problem accepting God's forgiveness...which he is right. I am harboring unforgiveness towards a former spouse who really abused me terribly. My problem is I just can't forgive him, and even if I wanted to it's not going to change anything but I don't want to remain this way...does anyone have any advice on how to forgive someone you just don't feel like forgiving????
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inHisgripkim
You Are The Salt And Light Of The World
Hello to you Sister in Christ:asjs1206 said:
Forgiveness comes as we grow in Christ. Good place to start growing is through a Bible Study group. I've been a Christian for almost five years and when I came to Christ, I had so many issues that I needed to resolve in me. I needed healing. One thing that I have come to understand about my walk as a Christian is the importance of seeking the Lord with all my mind, heart and soul. I look for Him in everything, in every thought, in every breath and in every heart beat. I strive to keep Him at the forefront of my mind. I do this through prayer, meditation, reading and studying His word, praise and worship, fellowshipping, listening to praise and worship music etc.
Focus on God at all times and learn to trust Him in all aspects of your life. Forgiveness comes when you learn to surrender "self" completely to Him and when you learn to put God in the driver's seat at all times. Healing comes to us when we live for God, gloifying Him in all that we do. When your life is turned completely over to Him and when you trust Him completly, foregiveness will come to you. When we are completely integrated with Christ (You are in Him and Him in you) healing occurs. Forgiveness will follow.
Seek Him constantly. Praise Him constantly. Glorify Him constantly. Pray to Him constantly. Surrender "self." Trust Him completely. When you do this, He will reveal Himself to you and you will see His glory.
Go forward in Christ and Let His Spirit grow in you.
Blessings to you,
Kim
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bfly
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Let us look at it from another angle.
Forgiveness is an action. Not a feeling.
You ask God to help you take action that will lead to forgiveness of sins committed against you. That being done, you can begin to receive the blessings God has for you.
That does not mean that God has forgiven the spouse. It means you have be able to forgive the actions of abuse that were done to you.
As a child of God, you don't have a choice but to forgive this action of abuse against you. Without the forgiveness, you cannot be forgiven. So you are in the same place the abuser is.
you never have to speak to that person again, you never have to be in his presence again.
You have to carry that burden of unforgiven actions to Jesus. Leave it at the foot of the cross, Jesus took abuse more than anyone can imagine and He took it for me and for you. His last words were Forgive them Father for they know not what they are doing. That was called LOVE.
The least we can do is cry out Father, I forgive this abuser and I turn him over to you. We are not the judge--God is the judge.
If you want what God want to give and do for you, make that final step and God will know if you are sincere, so don't do it for man. Do it for God and you.
A burden will be lifted off your shoulders and you will be amazed at the weight lifted from you.
You will be so happy. You take that first step, God will do the rest.
Enjoy your new found freedom. Go forward and be a blessing to others.
Forgiveness is an action. Not a feeling.
You ask God to help you take action that will lead to forgiveness of sins committed against you. That being done, you can begin to receive the blessings God has for you.
That does not mean that God has forgiven the spouse. It means you have be able to forgive the actions of abuse that were done to you.
As a child of God, you don't have a choice but to forgive this action of abuse against you. Without the forgiveness, you cannot be forgiven. So you are in the same place the abuser is.
you never have to speak to that person again, you never have to be in his presence again.
You have to carry that burden of unforgiven actions to Jesus. Leave it at the foot of the cross, Jesus took abuse more than anyone can imagine and He took it for me and for you. His last words were Forgive them Father for they know not what they are doing. That was called LOVE.
The least we can do is cry out Father, I forgive this abuser and I turn him over to you. We are not the judge--God is the judge.
If you want what God want to give and do for you, make that final step and God will know if you are sincere, so don't do it for man. Do it for God and you.
A burden will be lifted off your shoulders and you will be amazed at the weight lifted from you.
You will be so happy. You take that first step, God will do the rest.
Enjoy your new found freedom. Go forward and be a blessing to others.
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tn_mtn_mommy
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I am just new at this also. I have been a Christian for about 15 months now and one of the hardest things to do is forgive. I held the same grudge on two people for well over 20 years and i am only 27. This grudge and anger and resentment I had for them harbored in me that long. But you know what?? God is the ultimate jury and judge... He will try and convict those as he see's fit. It is done. They are gone. You are safe and protected never to fear this person again. God is not only our savior but our protector, comforter, our very best of friends. He loves us and wants us to be at peace. The best phrase I think I ever heard was let go and let God. He will make it all better. All you have to do is ask. He will guide you through. It is done. It is gone. You are in God's loving care now.
Be Blessed.
Be Blessed.
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asjs1206 said:
Along with the other advice you have received, following is a link to a free online booklet that I think will be helpful to you: When Forgiveness Seems Impossible
God bless!
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Sister,
Welcome and I'm glad you're sharing this with us. I know it must be very tough and I'm going through a similar situation. I have been abused by my past boyfriends (physically, mentally, and emotionally) and now I'm finding it terribly hard to trust people again... let alone date another guy. And especially when I can't honestly say I've forgiven the guy who truly hurt me the most... but I'm beginning to realize that I have to love again and I need to learn how to forgive in order to do.
Dedicate your life to praying... it'll help ease your heart and your pain and eventually you'll learn how to forgive. Also, I would suggest you read some biographies on Saint's lives... they can be very influential in learning how to love and forgive.
God bless.
Welcome and I'm glad you're sharing this with us. I know it must be very tough and I'm going through a similar situation. I have been abused by my past boyfriends (physically, mentally, and emotionally) and now I'm finding it terribly hard to trust people again... let alone date another guy. And especially when I can't honestly say I've forgiven the guy who truly hurt me the most... but I'm beginning to realize that I have to love again and I need to learn how to forgive in order to do.
Dedicate your life to praying... it'll help ease your heart and your pain and eventually you'll learn how to forgive. Also, I would suggest you read some biographies on Saint's lives... they can be very influential in learning how to love and forgive.
God bless.
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