Need advice

[daveleau]

There's a commander of another squadron that goes to my church. We played his squadron twice in the past 3 weeks in intramural flag football. In the first game, their quarterback was out, so the commander (a major) played QB. He threw 5 interceptions (bad performance, for those who don't know football) and after the last one, he hit one of our players and was ejected. The next Sunday, we met in church and he apologized to the guy he hit. Well, we played again Tuesday and a similar thing happened. On the last play of the game, we threw a Hail Mary (a football play) to try for an improbable win. There was contact in the end zone, and our receiver who was part of the contact simply walked away to shake hands with the other team after our loss. Instead, the commander started yelling at the receiver and tried to break free of the restraint of his team, a group of enlisted troops. One of our other players who also happens to go to our church asked him in the heat of this if the major was going to apologize for this recent action in church again. The major said "Don't bring that (church) out here."

Besides the implications of military chain of command, do you think it would be prudent to give the man a note with Scripture on it in a very meek writing that discusses rebuking sin in others, Christian examples, our need to always act in godly ways and controlling our anger? Or should I let it go. I feel led to do this, but do not want to anger him more. I think I can get around the military implications by beginning the note with a message about this not being about his commanding example or a note from a Lieutenant to a Major, but a message from one Christian to another.

What are your thoughts and what would you do?

Thanks!

God bless and Merry Christmas!
Dave

 

[GreenEyedLady]

Dave,

One thing I have learned alot lately is letting God work in situations. If this man is saved, then God can convict him. What I have learned is that God works on the man and God works through the man to the woman. I have learned, although I have heard it and casted it aside alot, to pray for that person. I have seen so much happen with pray its not even funny! Anytime my husband needs rebuking so to speak, I just pray for him that God will convict him. Ususally its just a matter of hours and he is convicted. This is truley allowing God to work in situations. Many might feel that they are "called" to rebuke someone. I say sit back and watch God work, is way more fun to watch.
GEL

 

[rural_preacher]

Considering the potential military implications, I would be cautious. To some degree it depends on whether this Major is able to separate his military status from his position as an equal brother in Christ. If he is not, your rebuke as a Christian brother could negatively impact you in the military setting.

When I was in the military (I was enlisted), I got in a shouting match in front of several others with a Master Sergant...I was a Sr. Airman...not smart. But he was a Christian and he pulled me aside later and told me that he could easily write me up but he preferred to deal with it as a Christian brother. We talked, I apologized and it never happened again. I was grateful to him for being my brother rather than my superior.

However, I understand that your situation is the opposite...he outranks you. So, the question remains...can he separate military status from Christian status?

With all that said, I would have to agree with GEL. Just pray for him and watch the Spirit of God work in his heart. You be the kind of Christian you should be and your testimony will be evident.

I will pray that God gives you His wisdom in dealing with this.


--

U.S. Air Force Veteran​

​

--​

 

[LostnFound]

My thought is that you should, perhaps, write what it is you want to say, with no signature. Then go to the chaplain you most trust, or maybe, who he most trusts, and share it with him. Not only will he be a peer in rank, but he can advise you further. Perhaps he can share this with the commander on an annonymous basis, and have an opportunity to counsel with him. IMHO

 

[aReformedPatriot]

If you feel led to do this, then you need to stand up and do it. If God has ordained what you want to do then you will be alright. He is after all in control. The only thing to fear is our worldly inhibitions. Though that doesnt mean I cant see why you would be hesitant.

Be praying for ya, and let us know what happens providing you do something.

p.s. I like your idea about telling him this is from one Christian to another, not a LT. to Major. Afterall In the church, the first shall be last and the last shall be first.

 

[Diakoneo]

I agree with TLE. If you feel led to do this then it is "of God" and so do it. Paul withstood Peter to the face (I know that's not what you're going to do) but that had to be hard, however he must've felt led to do it and in the long run it worked out (as God planned). Being a Christian and being a Christian-leader are difficult walks, but we must first please the Master who bought us and not quench the Spirit Who leads us. I'd say write the note Dave and trust in God.

 

[Crazy Liz]

Writing a note, particularly an anonymous one, is not the biblical way to rebuke a brother. If you're going to do it, do it face-to-face.

To some degree it depends on whether this Major is able to separate his military status from his position as an equal brother in Christ. If he is not, your rebuke as a Christian brother could negatively impact you in the military setting.

[snip]

However, I understand that your situation is the opposite...he outranks you. So, the question remains...can he separate military status from Christian status?

It sure sounds to me like that is part of his issue. He does keeps these two aspects of his life strictly separated.

One of our other players who also happens to go to our church asked him in the heat of this if the major was going to apologize for this recent action in church again. The major said "Don't bring that (church) out here."

What do you think about separating parts of your life like that? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

 

[ZiSunka]

A note might not be taken in the spirit you intend it, so speaking face to face in a neutral situation might be the best idea.

 

[DiscipleOfIAm]

I like the idea of going to him as a Christian Brother, one on one. Just the two of you. If he cannot distinguish between personal and professional roles in life than he needs a lot more than your rebuking! After all, in the eternal life, we are all the same rank! As prior military myself, I know how hard it is to separate the two roles. Especially in front of a subordinate. But, a true Christian brother will welcome you and be thankful that you care enough about him to bring this to his attention. Good luck!

God Bless

 

[Crazy Liz]

I like the idea of going to him as a Christian Brother, one on one. Just the two of you. If he cannot distinguish between personal and professional roles in life than he needs a lot more than your rebuking! After all, in the eternal life, we are all the same rank! As prior military myself, I know how hard it is to separate the two roles. Especially in front of a subordinate. But, a true Christian brother will welcome you and be thankful that you care enough about him to bring this to his attention. Good luck!

God Bless

What do you mean by separating or distinguishing between the two roles? I find when I step into a role that requires me to act in a different way than my true self, I come under the influence of "principalities and powers" that make me feel fragmented, not like a whole person. I've noticed several of you talking about how important it is to compartmentalize different aspects of one's life. Doesn't God want to bring us wholeness?

 

[ZiSunka]

Yes, God wants us to be integrated people, being the same person in our private lives as our work lives, church lives, play lives, etc, and not being saintly at some things and monsters at others. I think, though, the reference here is that we act in different roles at different aspects of our lives that require different relational styles. When we are at work, we act in professional ways, at home we are more casual, at church we are worshipful, and as parents we are authoritarian (in a good way, not an evil way) and nurturing. Those are different aspects of our lives that require us not to be different people, but to have different behaviors and different ways of relating.

 

[DiscipleOfIAm]

What do you mean by separating or distinguishing between the two roles? I find when I step into a role that requires me to act in a different way than my true self, I come under the influence of "principalities and powers" that make me feel fragmented, not like a whole person. I've noticed several of you talking about how important it is to compartmentalize different aspects of one's life. Doesn't God want to bring us wholeness?

I suppose by two roles, I mean one the role of a superior officer, leader in the military and the other, the role of Christian brother. Unfortunately, the military puts God farther down the list than we would as Christians. I didn't make the rules and nobody is forced to join the military anymore. But, that's the way it is!

 

[Crazy Liz]

I suppose by two roles, I mean one the role of a superior officer, leader in the military and the other, the role of Christian brother. Unfortunately, the military puts God farther down the list than we would as Christians. I didn't make the rules and nobody is forced to join the military anymore. But, that's the way it is!

OK, so what you mean is that the superior officer should listen to a brother in church, where it's appropriate to address any brother, but on the ball field the brother needs to defer to the privileges of military rank and not say anything critical of a superior officer?

 

[DiscipleOfIAm]

OK, so what you mean is that the superior officer should listen to a brother in church, where it's appropriate to address any brother, but on the ball field the brother needs to defer to the privileges of military rank and not say anything critical of a superior officer?

First of all, I'm not trying to argue or debate anybody. You always seem to twist things and try to draw into a debate. Easy!

As for your question, I'm not saying that it is right for this to be done, I'm saying that is how it is in the military. There's a difference. Especially, since this ballgame is a military function, two squadrons playing each other. It appears this is a military function anyway.

Unfortunately, it seems that this superior officer does not want to appear weak in front of subordinates and he thinks by acting like a Christian that he claims to be he appears weak. Which in a wartime situation (not knowing what type of officer this is - i.e. infantry or adminsitrative) can be crucial. Other men, mainly non-Christian men, have a hard time following someone who appears weak, into battle. We have to remember that not everyone is a Christian and I'm just giving you the non-Christian's point of view, not mine. We, as Christians, know that a Christian, living the Christian life, is stronger than a raving lunitic (sp?) trying to appear strong. He is the opposite of weak.

God Bless

 

[Theophorus]

I was in the military. I would do nothing. Also, if you are to "rebuke" a brother, you should do so with 2 or more, not one man rebuking another. Plus given the rank situation, you might apply the principal of the humble wife who wins over her husband with her humble and chaste life.

 

[Crazy Liz]

It's OK. Not trying to start a debate, but trying to understand why it seemed like the guys thought it was important to be able to separate different aspects of life. It seems like it would be a problem, to me. I've worked long and hard to integrate the different aspects of mine as a result of seeing the dark side of professionalism up close and personal.