Need advice PLEASE

[Vedant]

so i got 'caught', 'red-handed', about do something that many view as unacceptable, doesn't matter what it was. So another christian that i knew was christian came in, and even though i only recognized her face and she recognized mine we 'agreed' not to notice each other even though we already did. needless to say, i was taken aback, dropped into this awkwardness, and the last comment my friend made nailed my 'guilt', and i immaturely left the whole situation.

anyway, this act is not really wrong in my mindset, but the fact that i'm sure it was wrong in her mindset made me feel guilty. i think that if she were a close friend it would be easier to explain, but she's younger than me, and probably looks up to me somewhat as i'm more visible in the christian ministry than she is. basically, i sincerely don't believe what i was doing was wrong, but it felt bad because i knew that she was probably judging me as bad or wrong, and that's the root of the problem. my ideology is 'messed up' according to some people, but I believe it to be true even though it might not be popular. fundamentally, I believe the bases that every other Christian believes, but how these generate to the aesthetics of our lives is where the difference occurs. this often comes out as me just picking when and where to be a Christian, and although I'm afraid of switching on and off the Christian switch, I don't think I do this. I'm just afraid to stand outwardly how I feel in front of those that won't approve, but if someone gets close to me and asks me at an individual level what my deal exactly is, I tell them without any reservervations, and they either become closer friends with me, try to convert me to their mannerisms, or stop being my friend. This can't happen with this person, because #1, i don't know her, #2, i've made a 'bad' first impression that will hinder any possible friendship development, #3, she'll think i'm fake. Maybe I am fake. But, I think what it really is, is that i've gotten so much judgement from people that I'm afraid to be who I really am in front of them for fear of being judged, not liked, not accepted, etc., and I act in a way to impress them, or only let certain things show to gain approval until I can actually be frank with them. Wow, this turned out to be long, but I hope I'm not being too vague. I think this is going to keep me up tonight. I go to college, and am in a campus ministry, in case you couldn't infer that from all of this.

So what do i do???

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Man, that was way too vague for anyone to figure out.

What other people think of you is a concern.
I hate the truth of that cause I'm one to not give a flip about what anyone thinks of me. However, the naked fact remains that I must consider this.
Me? I like a good beer. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, I could be drinking one right now and no one would be the wiser.
But I choose not to because I want to have some integrity for the teens I talk to. I feel it is wiser for me to not drink. The kids I talk to are more important to me than the small sacrifice I make.

I have no idea if that has anything to do with your situation or not.

 

[ukok]

Man, that was way too vague for anyone to figure out.

.

Cheese, you da man! You read my mind.


I don't know how to respond really because i don't really understand what i am responding to...sorry.

 

[paul becke]

Don't beat yourself up about it, Vedant. It sounds like it may have something personal to do with the raging hormones young men have. If so, and at times, you find the struggle too much, be careful about your privacy.

Of course, it's not at all Christian behaviour as such, but a sin; but we are human, it is natural, though some Christians would dispute it - and virtue is a gift and a privilege as much as it is a duty. Trust God, and accept the sense of humiliation. If the young woman is a Christian, she should be slow to judge the situation you found yourself in.

 

[cyberwing]

Vedant,
Stop pretending. Never do something because you want to please men! This is absolutely wrong! You do ALL things to please Jesus. Jesus tells us if we will keep our eyes on HIM, HE is our 'justification'. There is an old Aesop Fable that talks about trying to please men, you can not do it!!! No one can please all men all the time.....
Stop being so hard on yourself. The only one you have to worry about is Jesus, PERIOD. Keep your eyes on Him. He will let you know if something is wrong, do NOT let man tell you. Men, ALL men fall short of the glory of God! No man, and I do mean NO MAN except Jesus was perfect. No big minister, preacher, priest or teacher, they ALL have personal hang-ups to deal with, sin to be eradicated from their lives. That is why Satan has been so successful in making people view Christians as fakes and hypocrites. They look at us, while we are striving toward His purpose for us, working toward realizing His goals in our lives and they think, "WELL, they aren't perfect..." Nope, we aren't. My favorite saying is, "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven!"
The problem is we put our eyes on men, men will fail you. You must keep your eyes on JESUS!!! I am condemned by my Brothers and Sisters all the time, but Jesus has taught me to stop worrying about it. They are not walking my path. I have a purpose they can not understand. Jesus let me know by asking me a very important question once,
"Who is man that thou art mindful of him?" This is from Job and I believe David quotes it in Psalms. Think about that Vedant..... The Lord is saying to us, why do you worry about what man says??? Worry about what I say.
Pray for the girl you saw. Pray that she be blessed. Ask the Lord to forgive you if you were a stumbling block to her faith in Him but help her have more understanding of her brothers and sisters in Him.
If you still feel convicted, perhaps The Holy Spirit is trying to help you see this thing is not good for you. If you don't feel 'convicted' about it after you release it to Him then don't stress over it!!! Relax, HE LOVES YOU!!!
{{{HUG}}}
~Cyberwing

 

[doofus125]

Hey Verdant, I think I know what you are talking about but I'm not sure, so if you want to talk you can feel free to pm me and feel free to talk openly there.

In Him,

Bill

 

[desper84unity]

I am not sure what you're talking about.

However, I like Mr Becke's answer.

Also, I am a believer in confessing what shames you, and I always recommend going to a professional christian counselor, especially a pyschologist (they really know the norms of human behavior) and tell him/her what happened, and how you feel etc. I prefer the pro christian psych's because they are bound by their profession to keep it private, and even the records are secure. So you can spill your guts, they've heard it all. Confession is Biblical, and really works!

 

[ceres]

im confused, can't you just say what it is? no one knows who you are anyway... and we've all done stuff "wrong"

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

Verdant, that sounds like a sticky situation to be in. First of all, there's the question of whether or not this behavior was wrong. To find out, you need to turn to the word of God. God is the only one who can make that determination. As much as you want to keep the habit, whatever it is, if it's sin, it will do you no good-it has to go. The Bible tells us to avoid even the *appearance* of evil. So whatever it is, I really believe your life is much better off without it. If you compromise in this area, you will compromise in the next.

As for your friend, God ordained for her to be there at this time. Maybe God sent her to pray for you. Or maybe God wanted you to confront this issue. Or maybe God wanted you to have someone to talk to about it.

I'd try talking this out with her, but it may be helpful to carefully consider ahead of time what you will do if the person disapproves. Will you walk away from the person, or from the activity?

Blessings to you, and keep us posted on how it works out.