Need advice on a friendship *long read*

[in His shadow]

Hey brothers & sisters,
this is my first post and thread on this site !

I don't really know how to start this question, so I'll give you a little information about the friendship first.

We were friends for about 2 years and very close friends, at that. We had a falling out at the end of last year that lasted until February this year. When we became friends, again, the first thing she introduced to me were psychedelics. I was living in complete sin without God for a few months and then recently I came to the Christian epiphany. She was accepting of my choices to stay with God, no blasphemy towards Him or my relationship with Him. I hoped to get her closer to Him (I thought that was my calling, the reason we were friends in the first place-to help her to Jesus Christ). Now, I kind of think the friendship was a test.


About a month or two ago I told her we can no longer be friends, in the most loving caring way I knew how. Our conversations consisted of extreme philosophical ideas. I would try to explain to her my perspective, being a born-again Christian, and she would exceed my logic with, what I thought was better logic. It made sense to me, but at the same time I knew it wasn't true. A few examples would be, "if there is a God why do people suffer and get cancer", or "why is there good and bad in everything?" or "There are so many religions why is Christianity the only true one?". Things that would generally, make me question God and His existence/power all together. I got so fed up with questioning God that I ended the friendship.

I tried everything I could to help her get closer to Jesus Christ, but she made me question everything about Christianity. It scared me. Does anyone else agree with my decision? Is my decision supported with Biblical truth?

I told her that I am too weak in my walk with the Lord, to be subject to her worldly logic and that the friendship needed to end. Any advice? I've been torn up about this the past few months, constantly thinking about her. I just want to move on

 

[ServantJohn]

Do not give that which is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet and turn again and tear you. (Matthew 7:6 MKJV)

And whoever shall not receive you, nor hear you, when you depart from there, shake off the dust under your feet for a testimony against them. Truly I say to you, It shall be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city. (Mark 6:11 MKJV)

 

[TigerKanga]

When people ask you questions you don't have answers to its not right to run away. You should find the answers to their questions as best you can. In doing so you will lead them to the Lord and your faith will be reinforced.

 

[in His shadow]

Do not give that which is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet and turn again and tear you. (Matthew 7:6 MKJV)

And whoever shall not receive you, nor hear you, when you depart from there, shake off the dust under your feet for a testimony against them. Truly I say to you, It shall be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city. (Mark 6:11 MKJV)

Thanks John

How does that relate to my situation though? The verse from Mark is directed towards Jesus' disciples not the gentiles? Honest question.

When people ask you questions you don't have answers to its not right to run away. You should find the answers to their questions as best you can. In doing so you will lead them to the Lord and your faith will be reinforced.

I tried giving her answers but there was literally no way around her logic.

Shouldn't I strengthen my walk with the Lord first, before trying to help people to the Lord?

 

[miss-a]

You absolutely did the right thing. You gave her a chance, a number of chances, to respect your choice and she refused. Sadly, that's not a friend.

Jesus said that if your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. Sadly, this girl was trying to get you to sin. You saw that and used godly wisdom and plucked the relationship out of your life.

But remember, just because you had to walk away from her doesn't mean Jesus has. He is still pursuing her. You planted seeds into her life. And as the Bible says, "One plants, another waters and another reaps the harvest." Jesus will use the seeds you planted. And ending the relationship may be the most important one. It shows how committed you are to Him and that He's worth it.

Imagine if you had a brother you were really close with, and every time you saw this girl she talked about how useless and stupid she thought your brother was. You would naturally drift from this relationship. There would be no draw to it. Amos 3:3 says, "How can two walk together if they don't agree?" On the tiny issues, we can. But God is the biggest issue there will ever be. You did the right thing. And it was wise of you to see that your faith is not yet strong enough to undergo this sort of cross-examination. It will be in the future, but not if you spend your time with folks who try to pull you off course. It was really smart of you to see this.

I'll pray for you, and make sure you have lot's of people praying for you as you grow in faith. We all need that.

Blessings, A

 

[in His shadow]

Thank you so much!

I guess to me the friendship seemed "good", but since it was causing me to stray away from my Father, it was not.

That really helped a lot and I will have my friends and family pray for me.

 

[Orahh]

I tried giving her answers but there was literally no way around her logic.

Shouldn't I strengthen my walk with the Lord first, before trying to help people to the Lord?

It's true that can be hard when it seems people won't budge. What I think is best to do, is be in the word all the time so you have answers, let the holy spirit speak through you when your being questioned. If she denies that, then all you can do is let your Godly light shine and the test of time will show her that God is genuine. And the first thing you can do to shine God's light is to repair your friendship with her and explain to her you want to be friends with her for God. Always be honest about that.
The thing about the christian walk is it's not always going to be easy and there are many situations that are a lot harder to run from than to endure for christ. But when we go through these it's shows just how much we trust God and he produces great fruit one way or another through the situation.
Good luck

 

[TigerKanga]

I tried giving her answers but there was literally no way around her logic.

Shouldn't I strengthen my walk with the Lord first, before trying to help people to the Lord?

If there was no way around her logic then how can you say she is wrong?

By helping others you will strengthen your walk with the Lord. Running away from such challenges for as long as you need to is okay but don't make a habit of it and do ask other Christians for help answering the concerns others have. Witnessing to others and addressing their questions and concerns will help you and them to be closer to truth.

 

[in His shadow]

It's true that can be hard when it seems people won't budge. What I think is best to do, is be in the word all the time so you have answers, let the holy spirit speak through you when your being questioned. If she denies that, then all you can do is let your Godly light shine and the test of time will show her that God is genuine. And the first thing you can do to shine God's light is to repair your friendship with her and explain to her you want to be friends with her for God. Always be honest about that.
The thing about the christian walk is it's not always going to be easy and there are many situations that are a lot harder to run from than to endure for christ. But when we go through these it's shows just how much we trust God and he produces great fruit one way or another through the situation.
Good luck

That is what I am currently doing in my life. Submersing myself in the Word.
Thank you!!!

If there was no way around her logic then how can you say she is wrong?

By helping others you will strengthen your walk with the Lord. Running away from such challenges for as long as you need to is okay but don't make a habit of it and do ask other Christians for help answering the concerns others have. Witnessing to others and addressing their questions and concerns will help you and them to be closer to truth.

Her logic exceeded mine meaning she'd just have better comebacks basically. I'd counter it and then she'd counter it with a statement that left me dumbfounded, not because I thought it was true, but because I knew I didn't have enough knowledge to answer it correctly. Some of the things she would say I'd question their credibility and I knew in my heart that they were wrong. I needed to get away, I feel. And right, I won't make a habit of this, that makes a lot of sense. Thanks.

I will probably ask her one day to be friends again, to preach to her; and knowing how God and people work she'll reject my offer and IF she does reject it, I will know that my decision to end the friendship was for the better. But if she accepts it, I'll know that God was working on her this entire time and she has opened her heart.

Thanks guys!

 

[ServantJohn]

Thanks John

How does that relate to my situation though? The verse from Mark is directed towards Jesus' disciples not the gentiles? Honest question.

That's a good question. I'm not sure if you are seeing yourself or her as a gentile though. If you are a Christian, there is no respect to Jew or gentile. If you are not a disciple, then that is your next step. Talk to your pastor about this. The main point I see and you may be intending to make is that it was about them bringing a message to a "city". Whether it is a city or an individual, I believe the principal is sound. There are others in the world that need Jesus and are ready to recieve. Don't waste your time on those who refuse to hear.

 

[NewHope2010]

Hey brothers & sisters,
this is my first post and thread on this site !

I don't really know how to start this question, so I'll give you a little information about the friendship first.

We were friends for about 2 years and very close friends, at that. We had a falling out at the end of last year that lasted until February this year. When we became friends, again, the first thing she introduced to me were psychedelics. I was living in complete sin without God for a few months and then recently I came to the Christian epiphany. She was accepting of my choices to stay with God, no blasphemy towards Him or my relationship with Him. I hoped to get her closer to Him (I thought that was my calling, the reason we were friends in the first place-to help her to Jesus Christ). Now, I kind of think the friendship was a test.


About a month or two ago I told her we can no longer be friends, in the most loving caring way I knew how. Our conversations consisted of extreme philosophical ideas. I would try to explain to her my perspective, being a born-again Christian, and she would exceed my logic with, what I thought was better logic. It made sense to me, but at the same time I knew it wasn't true. A few examples would be, "if there is a God why do people suffer and get cancer", or "why is there good and bad in everything?" or "There are so many religions why is Christianity the only true one?". Things that would generally, make me question God and His existence/power all together. I got so fed up with questioning God that I ended the friendship.

I tried everything I could to help her get closer to Jesus Christ, but she made me question everything about Christianity. It scared me. Does anyone else agree with my decision? Is my decision supported with Biblical truth?

I told her that I am too weak in my walk with the Lord, to be subject to her worldly logic and that the friendship needed to end. Any advice? I've been torn up about this the past few months, constantly thinking about her. I just want to move on

To me, the short answer to all those would be "That's what happened when Adam and Eve ingested the knowledge of good and evil. It was a seed the bore the possibility of good and evil in the world and through us individually.

But my other suggestion for you would be to check out this blog. Read "Wisdom" and "Summary of My Faith" to see if it gives you any insight as a new Christian. Journey from Sinner to Saint

 

[in His shadow]

That's a good question. I'm not sure if you are seeing yourself or her as a gentile though. If you are a Christian, there is no respect to Jew or gentile. If you are not a disciple, then that is your next step. Talk to your pastor about this. The main point I see and you may be intending to make is that it was about them bringing a message to a "city". Whether it is a city or an individual, I believe the principal is sound. There are others in the world that need Jesus and are ready to recieve. Don't waste your time on those who refuse to hear.

I am a gentile. A saved born-again Christian. And that's what my thoughts were exactly. I even told her to come find me when she is open to hearing my beliefs. She was never really closed to them, but would not accept them one bit. She'd rebuttal with humanistic logic that I just couldn't argue back with (primarily because I knew I didn't have sufficient knowledge to answer her and I didn't want to give her incorrect info). I gave her that possibility and left the door wide open. I guess I'll have to let other Christians work on the seed I possibly planted in her

 

[NightShadow]

A great website to help understand Christianity and why it is the truth is alwaysbeready . com