Need advice for horrible thoughts in my head

[jen98754]

I will start out by stating, yes, I am a Christian. I wholeheartedly love the Lord Jesus Christ, I pray and read the Bible everyday, I have repented and continue to repent for my sins, I want nothing more then to obey the Lord, bring glory to the Lord, perform His will for my life and somehow lead other sinners to repentence and belief in God's only Son as the only One who can be their Savior. Yes, I truly believe. So, on to my problem...

Randomly, when I pray or when I'm listening to sermons online (I <3 Dr. John MacArthur's work) or even if I'm just doing daily things, I hear a voice in my head say the most vile, blasphemous filth and it upsets me greatly. It makes me so upset I cry and beg for forgiveness from Jesus immediately that it was in my head. I don't believe a true Christian can be possessed by any demons or that. I have prayed for deliverance from this horror (and believe me, it is a torture to go through) for 2 years now. I don't know what to do. I want to talk to God all day long but when I do, some horrible slur against the Lord pops into my head, the most horrible things. I have no one to talk to - I am desperately afraid to tell anyone for fear they will tell me I'm not really a Christian. I don't know what else to do. I know the Holy Spirit has been doing a work in my life - I used to be selfish, vengeful, filthy-mouthed, careless of others and those things are all gone now and replaced with love for others, not seeking any revenge, the swearing has stopped, and I'm still learning (lol!) how not to be selfish. I'm not saying I'm great now, I'm saying the Holy Spirit is working on me and I could have never done this myself. Please, why is this horrible thing happening to me. If I really am a Christian, why isn't the Lord guarding my mind from this? I just want it to stop so I can pray, read the Bible and converse with my God without filth in my head.

 

[tturt]

Yes, you're really a Christian and you really love Yahweh. Regarding this topic, some refer to it as the battlefield of the mind. Our thoughts come from 3 sources - our own thinking, Yahweh gives us thoughts (such as John 14:26) plus the enemy. He did it with Eve according to 2 Corinthians 11:3 &#8220;But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ."

We're to take every thought captive (II Cor 10:5) and renew our minds with His Word (Rom 12:2). This doesn't mean that we don't know His Word but we let the enemy give us a thought and we stay with it which creates doubt, worry, stress, etc. Remember he comes to kill, steal, and destroy. With this, he's stealing from you - for one thing your peace in Yahweh.

So how do we deal with this - and it's something we have to do with Yahweh's help - When that first thought comes that needs to be eliminated, immediately replace it with what Scripture says - whatever Scripture you like. For me it's "I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7); because of Yeshua's sacrifice, I am forgiven (John 3:16) and I have been established, anointed and sealed by God (2 Corinthians 1:21-22) .

It may be difficult for the first few days but it will get better because "I have strength to overcome all things in the One who strengthens me." (Phil 4:13) - He's always there to help us (Psa 46:1). As someone posted the other day, there's nothing in the Bible for us to do that we can't do with Yahweh's help.

 

[Aravis85]

I'm sorry you're going through this - it sounds terrible. I would definitely go and talk to a pastor at your church about this, for reassurance and comfort as well as advice. I doubt very much that he will say this means you aren't a Christian or anything like that - it's because you are a Christian that you are trying to fight these thoughts off. But he may be able to give you some tips about what to do/pray when it happens and to comfort you. Nothing (neither death nor hell nor principalities or powers) can separate you from Christ, remember, so don't worry about being a real Christian or the Lord letting go of you or anything like that; He doesn't do that.

On a lesser scale, silly or blasphemous involuntary thoughts come into my mind sometimes too. Since we have not chosen these thoughts by our own free will, I don't think we need to feel guilty about them. What I tend to do is to hand those thoughts over to God right away for healing, like I would with any other problem. But I don't think you should let yourself think of it as a sin; it's more like a trial, which many Christians have reported experiencing in the past.

 

[Maxine R]

Hi Jen, do you hear the voice often? It sounds like OCD to me. Maybe you can check out the obsessive compulsive disorder board. There are many similar posts there.

 

[Emmy]

Dear jen98754. Whenever those thoughts come, give them to Jesus. Ask Jesus to take them away. Jesus is the stronger, and Jesus will be victor over those horrible thoughts. Keep asking and thanking Jesus, let your Love for Jesus kill those thoughts. I say this with love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[BFine]

Jen I recommend that you discuss this with a doctor/psychiatrist ASAP.

 

[Life2Christ]

Randomly, when I pray or when I'm listening to sermons online (I <3 Dr. John MacArthur's work) or even if I'm just doing daily things, I hear a voice in my head say the most vile, blasphemous filth and it upsets me greatly.

If the thoughts aren't voluntary then ignore them and move on. It doesn't hurt to talk to a psychiatrist either. Don't be afraid. In the meatime, don't expose yourself to foul language or impure visions on TV. Keep yourself in the light, so to speak.

 

[paul1149]

The key to defeating this is to know who you are in Christ and take your stand in Him. Clearly it is not your heart's wish to have these thoughts, and they in no way affect your position in Christ. He gives His peace not as the world gives &#8211; that is, He doesn&#8217;t take it away.

You are under grace, not law, so therefore sin will not have dominion over you (Rom 6.14). So the first thing you need to do is relax. You&#8217;ve already confessed the problem, now according to 1jn 1.9 God will be faithful to forgive and to cleanse.

Let your peace return to yourself. Labor to reenter His rest once again. If the thoughts come again, simply know they have no part in you. Don&#8217;t let them upset you. God is far bigger than to let this be an issue, and His greatest desire is that you have the victory.

Maybe there is a root that needs to be dealt with. The best way for that to happen is, again, to relax and let the Holy Spirit do His cleansing work. It's all by the Spirit:

Then he said to me, &#8220;This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of hosts.
Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain. And he shall bring forward the top stone amid shouts of &#8216;Grace, grace to it!&#8217;&#8221; -Zech 4:6- 7 ​

His power is perfected in weakness. So let the Lord love you through this. You're going to come out better than before, and you will grow closer to Him as you see His love in action within you.

So take your stand against the fear, according to Eph 6.10-ff. Perfect love casts out fear, and fear is the opposite of faith. These thoughts generate fear, which weakens you and makes you more susceptible to the thoughts again. But once you know and assert and rest in who you are in Christ, you will be in the place of immunity.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.
For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, -Rom 8.1-3​

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[jen98754]

Thank you all for your help. It was much needed and much appreciated.

 

[servant9901]

I will start out by stating, yes, I am a Christian. I wholeheartedly love the Lord Jesus Christ, I pray and read the Bible everyday, I have repented and continue to repent for my sins, I want nothing more then to obey the Lord, bring glory to the Lord, perform His will for my life and somehow lead other sinners to repentence and belief in God's only Son as the only One who can be their Savior. Yes, I truly believe. So, on to my problem...

Randomly, when I pray or when I'm listening to sermons online (I <3 Dr. John MacArthur's work) or even if I'm just doing daily things, I hear a voice in my head say the most vile, blasphemous filth and it upsets me greatly. It makes me so upset I cry and beg for forgiveness from Jesus immediately that it was in my head. I don't believe a true Christian can be possessed by any demons or that. I have prayed for deliverance from this horror (and believe me, it is a torture to go through) for 2 years now. I don't know what to do. I want to talk to God all day long but when I do, some horrible slur against the Lord pops into my head, the most horrible things. I have no one to talk to - I am desperately afraid to tell anyone for fear they will tell me I'm not really a Christian. I don't know what else to do. I know the Holy Spirit has been doing a work in my life - I used to be selfish, vengeful, filthy-mouthed, careless of others and those things are all gone now and replaced with love for others, not seeking any revenge, the swearing has stopped, and I'm still learning (lol!) how not to be selfish. I'm not saying I'm great now, I'm saying the Holy Spirit is working on me and I could have never done this myself. Please, why is this horrible thing happening to me. If I really am a Christian, why isn't the Lord guarding my mind from this? I just want it to stop so I can pray, read the Bible and converse with my God without filth in my head.

It is satan's desire and main goal for the christian to defeat their walk in Christ...he knows our weaknesses and plays upon them hoping he can cause doubt confusion and mistrust in the Lord...that stinking devil is the author of confusion remember?

just stay in the Word of God, stay in prayer and when these thoughts come to your mind ,just say satan I rebuke you in the Mighty name of Jesus get thee hence

guess what that ole devil will get tired of being rebuked by the Lord and leave u alone ...but we know he will try something else because he is nothing but evil but our faith is in the Lord and the Lord is our protector and God takes His job as our heavenly Father very seriously more so than we do as a parent...

God bless and be at peace
Servant

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I will start out by stating, yes, I am a Christian. I wholeheartedly love the Lord Jesus Christ, I pray and read the Bible everyday, I have repented and continue to repent for my sins, I want nothing more then to obey the Lord, bring glory to the Lord, perform His will for my life and somehow lead other sinners to repentence and belief in God's only Son as the only One who can be their Savior. Yes, I truly believe. So, on to my problem...

Randomly, when I pray or when I'm listening to sermons online (I <3 Dr. John MacArthur's work) or even if I'm just doing daily things, I hear a voice in my head say the most vile, blasphemous filth and it upsets me greatly. It makes me so upset I cry and beg for forgiveness from Jesus immediately that it was in my head. I don't believe a true Christian can be possessed by any demons or that. I have prayed for deliverance from this horror (and believe me, it is a torture to go through) for 2 years now. I don't know what to do. I want to talk to God all day long but when I do, some horrible slur against the Lord pops into my head, the most horrible things. I have no one to talk to - I am desperately afraid to tell anyone for fear they will tell me I'm not really a Christian. I don't know what else to do. I know the Holy Spirit has been doing a work in my life - I used to be selfish, vengeful, filthy-mouthed, careless of others and those things are all gone now and replaced with love for others, not seeking any revenge, the swearing has stopped, and I'm still learning (lol!) how not to be selfish. I'm not saying I'm great now, I'm saying the Holy Spirit is working on me and I could have never done this myself. Please, why is this horrible thing happening to me. If I really am a Christian, why isn't the Lord guarding my mind from this? I just want it to stop so I can pray, read the Bible and converse with my God without filth in my head.

Realize that you are not the only Christian who has to deal with this on a daily basis--even Paul the Apostle had to "wrestle" sinful holdovers from his past.

 

[Ultima4257]

I know exactly what you are going through, because I have dealt with this problem for many years. The only advise I can give you is this. Try to realize that not every thought that comes in your head is your thought, and you are not held accountable to it. Also, try your best not to react to the thoughts when they come. I know it sounds rather odd, but if you show the enemy you are tortured by these thoughts they give you, then their attacks will become stronger and more fierce than before. However, if you tend to not pay attention to these thoughts and ignore them, they will eventually cease. Of course this is all easier said than done and it is very hard to do. One more thing, always be on your guard because they will try to attack you when you least expect it. Hope this helps and everything becomes better.

 

[MicahM]

I will start out by stating, yes, I am a Christian. I wholeheartedly love the Lord Jesus Christ, I pray and read the Bible everyday, I have repented and continue to repent for my sins, I want nothing more then to obey the Lord, bring glory to the Lord, perform His will for my life and somehow lead other sinners to repentence and belief in God's only Son as the only One who can be their Savior. Yes, I truly believe. So, on to my problem...

Randomly, when I pray or when I'm listening to sermons online (I <3 Dr. John MacArthur's work) or even if I'm just doing daily things, I hear a voice in my head say the most vile, blasphemous filth and it upsets me greatly. It makes me so upset I cry and beg for forgiveness from Jesus immediately that it was in my head. I don't believe a true Christian can be possessed by any demons or that. I have prayed for deliverance from this horror (and believe me, it is a torture to go through) for 2 years now. I don't know what to do. I want to talk to God all day long but when I do, some horrible slur against the Lord pops into my head, the most horrible things. I have no one to talk to - I am desperately afraid to tell anyone for fear they will tell me I'm not really a Christian. I don't know what else to do. I know the Holy Spirit has been doing a work in my life - I used to be selfish, vengeful, filthy-mouthed, careless of others and those things are all gone now and replaced with love for others, not seeking any revenge, the swearing has stopped, and I'm still learning (lol!) how not to be selfish. I'm not saying I'm great now, I'm saying the Holy Spirit is working on me and I could have never done this myself. Please, why is this horrible thing happening to me. If I really am a Christian, why isn't the Lord guarding my mind from this? I just want it to stop so I can pray, read the Bible and converse with my God without filth in my head.

Those are just intrusive, self-defeating thoughts. I grew up having random thoughts of violence, sex, and blasphemy just popping in my head without any concentration on it. My condition with these instances weren't too bad, but it happened. And its not uncommon for it to happen.

I use to beat myself up for it, and in fact I believed I was completely damned for a couple of years (still struggling with that thought, should make a topic about it) But, although you should not welcome them, and rejecting them strongly is the proper way to deal with them, know that god won't send you to hell for thoughts you have no control over. You know you love him, and you have submitted yourself. This is not you who is blaspheming.

 

[servant9901]

It is satan's desire and main goal for the christian to defeat their walk in Christ...he knows our weaknesses and plays upon them hoping he can cause doubt confusion and mistrust in the Lord...that stinking devil is the author of confusion remember?

just stay in the Word of God, stay in prayer and when these thoughts come to your mind ,just say satan I rebuke you in the Mighty name of Jesus get thee hence

guess what that ole devil will get tired of being rebuked by the Lord and leave u alone ...but we know he will try something else because he is nothing but evil but our faith is in the Lord and the Lord is our protector and God takes His job as our heavenly Father very seriously more so than we do as a parent...

God bless and be at peace
Servant

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places].


Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; Eph.6


Sister we are soldiers on the battlefield in the enemy's territory and that enemy doesnt play fair,he's cruel, wicked,depraved,monsterous,subtle,cunning,divisive,deceptive and the list goes on...

and the Lord shows us how to be prepared for this battle, this spiritual battle...we must be rooted and grounded in the Word of God,and strong in the faith ...and you certainly appear to be doing all you can to fight that good fight of faith...God bless you sister and hang in there,,the end results are WONDERFUL AND ETERNAL...

In Christ' Service
Evangelist

 

[vortigen84]

Randomly, when I pray or when I'm listening to sermons online (I <3 Dr. John MacArthur's work) or even if I'm just doing daily things, I hear a voice in my head say the most vile, blasphemous filth and it upsets me greatly.

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER!

You're in company with Martin Luther. I wonder if he obsessively washed his hands too?

Anyway, from Wikipedia:

Blasphemous thoughts are a common component of OCD, documented throughout history; notable religious figures such as Martin Luther and St. Ignatius were known to be tormented by intrusive, blasphemous or religious thoughts and urges. Martin Luther had urges to curse God and Jesus, and was obsessed with images of "the Devil's behind". St. Ignatius had numerous obsessions, including the fear of stepping on pieces of straw forming a cross, fearing that it showed disrespect to Christ. A study of 50 patients with a primary diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder found that 40% had religious and blasphemous thoughts and doubts&#8212;a higher, but not statistically significantly different number than the 38% who had the obsessional thoughts related to dirt and contamination more commonly associated with OCD. One study suggests that content of intrusive thoughts may vary depending on culture, and that blasphemous thoughts may be more common in men than in women.

According to Fred Penzel, a New York psychologist, some common religious obsessions and intrusive thoughts are:

• sexual thoughts about God, saints, and religious figures such as Mary
• bad thoughts or images during prayer or meditation
• thoughts of being possessed
• fears of sinning or breaking a religious law or performing a ritual incorrectly
• fears of omitting prayers or reciting them incorrectly
• repetitive and intrusive blasphemous thoughts
• urges or impulses to say blasphemous words or commit blasphemous acts during religious services.

Suffering can be greater and treatment complicated when intrusive thoughts involve religious implications; patients may believe the thoughts are inspired by Satan, and may fear punishment from God or have magnified shame because they perceive themselves as sinful. Symptoms can be more distressful for sufferers with strong religious convictions or beliefs.

Baer believes that blasphemous thoughts are more common in Catholics and evangelical Protestants than in other religions, whereas Jews or Muslims tend to have obsessions related more to complying with the laws and rituals of their faith, and performing the rituals perfectly. He hypothesizes that this is because what is considered inappropriate varies among cultures and religions, and intrusive thoughts torment their sufferers with whatever is considered most inappropriate in the surrounding culture.​

I struggle with this thing, a.k.a. scrupulosity, as well. Apparently medication can help somewhat, I don't take it though. I remember when I first discovered the "unforgivable sin", I immediately obsessed over committing that sin. That's classic OCD, I have it in other areas too, and my brother is autistic which is related.

I found I started to suffer less when I realized God's demands for perfection are fully kept for me by Christ on my behalf, apart from my effort. Because otherwise the stress of trying mentally balance yourself between being a good and bad person gets to you.

 

[Ultima4257]

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER!

You're in company with Martin Luther. I wonder if he obsessively washed his hands too?

Anyway, from Wikipedia:

Blasphemous thoughts are a common component of OCD, documented throughout history; notable religious figures such as Martin Luther and St. Ignatius were known to be tormented by intrusive, blasphemous or religious thoughts and urges. Martin Luther had urges to curse God and Jesus, and was obsessed with images of "the Devil's behind". St. Ignatius had numerous obsessions, including the fear of stepping on pieces of straw forming a cross, fearing that it showed disrespect to Christ. A study of 50 patients with a primary diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder found that 40% had religious and blasphemous thoughts and doubts&#8212;a higher, but not statistically significantly different number than the 38% who had the obsessional thoughts related to dirt and contamination more commonly associated with OCD. One study suggests that content of intrusive thoughts may vary depending on culture, and that blasphemous thoughts may be more common in men than in women.

According to Fred Penzel, a New York psychologist, some common religious obsessions and intrusive thoughts are:

• sexual thoughts about God, saints, and religious figures such as Mary
• bad thoughts or images during prayer or meditation
• thoughts of being possessed
• fears of sinning or breaking a religious law or performing a ritual incorrectly
• fears of omitting prayers or reciting them incorrectly
• repetitive and intrusive blasphemous thoughts
• urges or impulses to say blasphemous words or commit blasphemous acts during religious services.

Suffering can be greater and treatment complicated when intrusive thoughts involve religious implications; patients may believe the thoughts are inspired by Satan, and may fear punishment from God or have magnified shame because they perceive themselves as sinful. Symptoms can be more distressful for sufferers with strong religious convictions or beliefs.

Baer believes that blasphemous thoughts are more common in Catholics and evangelical Protestants than in other religions, whereas Jews or Muslims tend to have obsessions related more to complying with the laws and rituals of their faith, and performing the rituals perfectly. He hypothesizes that this is because what is considered inappropriate varies among cultures and religions, and intrusive thoughts torment their sufferers with whatever is considered most inappropriate in the surrounding culture.
​

I struggle with this thing, a.k.a. scrupulosity, as well. Apparently medication can help somewhat, I don't take it though. I remember when I first discovered the "unforgivable sin", I immediately obsessed over committing that sin. That's classic OCD, I have it in other areas too, and my brother is autistic which is related.

I found I started to suffer less when I realized God's demands for perfection are fully kept for me by Christ on my behalf, apart from my effort. Because otherwise the stress of trying mentally balance yourself between being a good and bad person gets to you.

Wow. Thank you so much for posting that. For a long time I thought God was telling me I had OCD, but I didn't believe Him because I didn't exhibit all the symptoms. What you posted pretty much describes me completely. Really appreciate you talking the time to address that, I feel relieved that it isn't just me anymore.

 

[Ashleyface]

I have the same thing, I also love Jesus Christ though and I really like watching John MacArthur on YouTube. He is delightful. Jesus Christ's blood saves.

 

[ssammoh]

I didn't read the whole thread, so this might not be any useful. But my friend has intrusive blasphemous thoughts sometimes and what she does is she replaces them with something like "That's not true. I love Jesus."

She said it works really well and now she doesn't freak out as much about it. Just remember that INTRUSIVE blasphemous thoughts are very different from blasphemous thoughts that you actually agree with. It doesn't mean you're a bad Christian.

 

[FlowerGirl18]

If I really am a Christian, why isn't the Lord guarding my mind from this?

First of all, you did such a brave thing when you posted this! Please know, dear, you are not alone. We are all here for you, whatever you are going through. It is a horrible thing you are going through, I can say that because I can relate. I've been through this horror myself, and it scared me immensely. Those were the first few years of my walk with Jesus, and the devil was working very diligently on me I guess... It did go away, after years of prayer and service though.

The sentence I have quoted is really where the danger lies. The thoughts you are having are definitely not your thoughts, they are from the devil. He hates you and doesn't want you to draw near to the Lord, which you clearly are doing, being His precious and dearly loved child. What he really wants is not just to plant those thoughts in your head, but to keep you from spending time with the Lord. I can see that you are very zealous for God, which brings Him delight, but angers the devil terribly. Don't let him stop you! The devil's aim is to attach those who are getting closer to the Lord. He sees your love, your zeal, your devotion, and he wants to discourage and accuse you. Don't let him do this!

Remember Job. God allowed the devil to test him with only one condition - that he will not touch Job's life. The reason why God is letting this happen to you is that he believes in you and knows you will stand against the devil and keep glorifying Him. He knows that through trials you have stood through His glory will shine in new and amazing ways! Keep this in mind and be encouraged!

And finally. You cannot keep the birds from flying over your head sometimes, can you? But you don't let them sit on your head and make their homes there. Right? Just like this, you cannot prevent those thoughts while the devil is testing you in this way, but you have the power of the same God who raised Jesus from death - the power to resist those thoughts and replace them with thoughts of what is holy, good, and pure.

Keep walking with Jesus. Never forget His promises. Keep reading the Word and trust Him. I know God will do amazing things through you.

Best,
Lily

 

[mytel]

I have had struggles like this before, and still do at times. I reason that these evil thoughts are not my own, and so i ignore them and pay no attention to them, and switch my mind to thinking about something else. They soon go away. Its like temptation, it is not a sin to be tempted, its only if we act upon it. Do not let the thoughts linger or give them a chance to bring doubt/distraction into your mind. We might be tempted to do something sinful through our thoughts, but if we persevere through the temptation, we do not fall into sin. Likewise, these blasphemous thoughts are tempting you to be blasphemous, ignore them, affirm your belief in Jesus and get on with something else.
Just pay no attention to them and the thoughts will soon disappear, its only when you start believing the thoughts that you can get trapped. Be strong, remember Jesus, who overcame the world, is on your side.