Natural Family Planning

[jessesgirl]

Hi, everyone! I am going to come off as strange but I have a few questions.

I was just wondering if this was the place to start if I want to find out about NFP...

I am going to assume that Quiverfull means that you all don't use hormonal BC...I just had my son nine days ago and I am NOT interested in going on birth control because all my experiences with it in the past have been bad, plus DH and I would really like to let GOD decide if and when we have our next one. However, I don't think that in letting him decide, we should be careless...especially since my pregnancy with my son was so difficult. So I guess what I am asking is WHAT IS QUIVERFULL to you and your spouse? Do any of you use the NFP method? I'm sorry for barging into your world, but I thought maybe you all would have the answers I am looking for...perhaps more on a personal level. Thank you all SO MUCH!

 

[oliveplants]

Hello, and welcome to QF!

Congratulations on the birth of your son! Sorry you had a rough time.

TO me quiverfull means a lifestyle of wanting and accepting children (not just to have a baby, but to welcome them into our life, if that makes sense). I use a modified NFP to space the children a bit, since we have proved very fertile in the past. I want to keep myself healthy and able to care for the children, so I'm aiming for about 2 years in between (I had 3 in a row that were 16 months in between, and it got hard).

SOme QF (and I guess the dictionary definition) doesn't use any BC at all, but we are a motly assortment here at CF.

You are more than welcome to fellowship here; I hope more people come in, as it has been a bit slow lately.

Anyway, I check my cervical discharge and I have a saliva tester (just a mini - microscope) for backup, and we use barrier method during fertile times (rather than abstain). My youngest is 5 months now, so only time will tell if this method works.

 

[Sabertooth]

By definition, QF maintains Supernatural Family Planning, but you [& DH], personally, need to walk in whatever convictions you have before God. Even outright contraception doesn't violate God's Word as long as it is not abortifacient.

 

[RoseofLima]

We use Billings Method NFP...I have liked it very much. Although it was really only over the last little bit before I got pregnant that my husband was more actively involved with it.

Don't let anyone bully you with whether or not you are "quiverfull" or not-- it's just a label, and it doesn't matter one iota! You and your husband are being heroic in being open to life!

 

[Assisi]

Hi Jesse's girl,

I've enjoyed reading about your pregnancy over on the pregnancy board, I was (yes, past tense) secretly pregnant and so I couldn't post!

Up until our pregnancy we had used the Billings Ovulation Method, same as you Rose! We had good reasons for avoiding a pregnancy and it was very effective. I have never conceived on the method, nor has anyone in my family - who use/used it too.

There are heaps of advantages: no hormones, no side effects, great knowledge of your own body, it's free, both you and your husband are involved, plus - and this is just in my opinion - it's so nice to know that there is no barrier or block in any way between me and my husband in those intimate moments. There is periodical abstinence involved, but this is a beautiful aid to our marriage. We separate for a time of fasting and prayer, and be sure to come back to one another (1 Cor 7). We have found that these times add to our spiritual life and our relationship as a couple with God.

According to the World Health Organisation the method is juts as effective as or more effective than the mini pill in preventing pregnancy. It is also way way more effective than barrier methods. Because, as Christians, there is prayer 'built in' to the method, this helps to be more open to God's will.

The Billings method is the one I would recommend, because it means you don't have to rely on breastfeeding for birth control, ie. the method works whether you breastfeed or not. You will begin to ovulate again before you bleed for the first time, the Billings method helps you to identify that point.

My biggest piece of advice to you is that if you would like to learn the method, go to a qualified instructor. I know a couple of people who sort of just guessed or tried to learn from a book or the internet who are expecting little joys soon. Looking back, these ladies say that they didn't really know how to pin point ovulation, and that they missed it. It works best when you learn from a person because then it is specific to your body.

Justin is so cute! You lucky girl! I really loved hearing the story of your marriage and pregnancy, and the pics of your boy are gorgeous!

God bless you!
Clare.

 

[jessesgirl]

Clare,
Thank you so much! Your words are so encouraging! I am so sorry that your pregnancy did not work out... that is so heartbreaking! I will pray that you are able to have another
Thanks for the advice....funny you should say that LOL...hubby and I just ordered the book!!!
We are actually planning on getting a real professional to give us the run-down, too.

Thank you, he is my little angel and we really are truly blessed!!! Praying for you sis, and thank you!

Jenny

 

[oliveplants]

Just checking back in to say...

I'm guessing that having a pro give personal instruction must be what makes the difference. I am pregnant now, and glad, but wondering what I did "wrong."

We do hope for a dozen children, but I thought they should be spread out a bit more than what they will be. Good thing I'm not in charge!

 

[jessesgirl]

Yeah, that is what scares me...I know how rough my first pregnancy was..I don't want to get pregnant too quickly because I don't know whether I will be able to handle little one AND being pregnant all over again!

 

[Assisi]

Just checking back in to say...

I'm guessing that having a pro give personal instruction must be what makes the difference. I am pregnant now, and glad, but wondering what I did "wrong."

We do hope for a dozen children, but I thought they should be spread out a bit more than what they will be. Good thing I'm not in charge!

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope that God gives us as many children one day.

As far as what went 'wrong'...I'm not wanting to pry, but the education we were given is that using barrier methods during fertile times drastically reduces the efficacy of the method.

Anyway, I check my cervical discharge and I have a saliva tester (just a mini - microscope) for backup, and we use barrier method during fertile times (rather than abstain). My youngest is 5 months now, so only time will tell if this method works.

I'm not sure which barrier method you use (obviously! it's none of my business!) Condoms, for example, are only 85-90% effective in preventing pregnancy. (Murtgah, J. (1998), General Practise, 2nd Ed, McGraw-Hill). Because a couple using condoms throughout the year only actually need the condoms during the fertile phase (because they won't conceive at other times), I think that using condoms during the fertile phase only is roughly the same as using condoms in general. ie. the method is reduced to 85-90% efficacy. As far as I can see the most effective barrier method is femidom (I don't even know what that is!!), which will only reduce the efficacy to 95% (Hatcher, R.A. et al. (1994) Contraceptive Technology, 16th ed. ch 5&27, Irvington Publisjers Inc, New York.)

Maybe you should ask your local nfp instructor, it could be something specific to your cycle. Then you can know whether there is anything more you can do or not.

Thanks for letting me include the info above, I'm not trying to have a go at you or your chosen method. I just thought I should share the info I had. And congratulations again on your new child! God must really love and trust you. I'm sure you are a beautiful family.

 

[oliveplants]

Thank you, Assisi, for the lovely and informative post.
I don't really think this would be the best place for me to go into detail; anyway it's a moot point for several months. Thanks for your support.

We are delighted!

 

[ChildByGrace]

So - just to break in on jessesgirl's thread slightly.

if my h and i decided to go down the nfp and quiverful route would we be able to use barrier methods like condoms or diaphram? Or is trusting in God totally a case of using nothing at all but charting?

 

[Sabertooth]

So - just to break in on jessesgirl's thread slightly.

if my h and i decided to go down the nfp and quiverful route would we be able to use barrier methods like condoms or diaphram? Or is trusting in God totally a case of using nothing at all but charting?

It isn't about what you can "get away with" or trying to impress others, it's about acting on whatever God has revealed to you, personally.

Many here feel that using contraception of any kind limits our surrender to God and, this, only by the conviction of the Holy Spirit. We are not under any compulsion to stop contraception; it just strikes us as the appropriate thing to do. We have relinquished control in favor of trust. Unless and until God brings you to that same place, you will ALWAYS have doubts about this way of life.

 

[ChildByGrace]

It isn't about what you can "get away with" or trying to impress others, it's about acting on whatever God has revealed to you, personally.

Many here feel that using contraception of any kind limits our surrender to God and, this, only by the conviction of the Holy Spirit. We are not under any compulsion to stop contraception; it just strikes us as the appropriate thing to do. We have relinquished control in favor of trust. Unless and until God brings you to that same place, you will ALWAYS have doubts about this way of life.

thank you

 

[Sleepy1]

congratulations jessie. the birth of a child is such a miracle, through whichever methods we use it is God's presence coming into our lives!

 

[QuiverfullMamma]

In my opinion, being quiverfull and practicing NFP are two completely different things. To be quiverful is to trust in God fully in your pregnancies, when it comes to how many you have and how close they are together. To put all trust in the Lord when it comes to bringing life into the world is just that... putting ALL trust in Him. If you have all trust in Him there is no need to practice NFP, for the Lord will know when the right time for you to have another child is and how far they should be spaced and so fourth.

 

[sparassidae]

Personally, I've used NFP- to increase the likelihood of pregnancy. Breastfeeding has kept me infertile for about 1 year on average, by then I'm more than 'ready for another one'. Knowing my fertile signs has helped me know the "right time".

I think I trust God completely, but I know I'm sinful, so I don't know whether I would use any contraception if I became fertile now for instance (baby 5mo old) Having said that, I don't really think NFP is against God's plan. ?

 

[RedTulipMom]

To me..being open to having children doesnt include being irresponsible. I probably wouldnt fit under the traditional "quiverful" definition because i strongly believe after 2 pregnancies with pre-eclampsia and having to be induced very early...that there are times SPACING is the wise, responsible thing to do for your own health. So..yes..i wil be using NFP. I would never use any kind of hormonal or even barrier contraception...but i will certainly chart and hubby and i will Abstain during fertile times till i feel my body is fully ready again for another pregnancy. We all have to make our own decisions and feel confident that God is ok with them. I know God knows ME and my situation, and am sure he would think i was foolish to get pregnant again when my baby is only a few months old. (on purpose)....if it happens that way..i will accept it of course as a blessing..

 

[teishpriest]

There are many opinions on the subject. Really the only form of BC I actively oppose are those that act as an abortificant. Any other method, well, it's up to God to convict, not me. That's not to say we can't voice our opinion, but that's different then condemning people and being self-righteous!

If you wind up with closely spaced kids, don't worry my daughter and son are 8 months apart and there will be only 7 months between my son and our new little one. It's overwhelming at times, but you just survive one day at a time! I keep reminding myself that God won't give me more kids than I can handle.

 

[Sabertooth]

...
If you wind up with closely spaced kids, don't worry my daughter and son are 8 months apart and there will be only 7 months between my son and our new little one...

Wow...! If you don't mind me asking, how long were your pregnacies...?

 

[BananaCake]

Wow...! If you don't mind me asking, how long were your pregnacies...?

I was just trying to do that math myself