Naive question...

[deliciousBass]

I know that I've done a lot of bad things that helped cause my separation....you do eventually reap what you sow. But I can't help but think at times that this is all still part of God's plan for me. That he is dishing out punishment to me for being disobedient and that he is doing it through my wife..

For example, many of the lessons that I am learning now are lessons that I failed to learn before my wife left me. Most importantly, patience. I have always been an impatient person and suffered from anxiety problems that caused me to rush into things and lose my temper easily.

This is one reason why I think separation can be a good thing at times. When this first happened and I was faced with all the regret and "what ifs", I embarked on a journey of making permanent changes in my life that are for the better. Don't get me wrong, this is still a painful experience, but I can't help but think "You deserve this" and "learn your lesson and you will be better off than when you started."

Does anybody here who is going through a divorce or is separated every feel like you are getting what you deserve? Or am I just trying to rationalize my feelings of guilt?

 

[brokenman]

God could be punishing us yes and we should all learn from what happened...I know I have. But God is very specific when he said he hates divorce, it doesn't get more blunt then that. Never look at it as "I'm getting what I deserve," because that'll just get you feeling like garbage. I don't think you are trying to rationalize anything, its human nature for us to look back and see what we could of change, what would be different if you knew what you do now. Here is a quote about the past that I read in a marriage book lately...

The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history. We need to choose to live today free from failures of yesterday.

Hang in there, yes, God has a plan and its a lot bigger then us.

 

[psalms66]

It must be in the air or something because I was awake most of the night last night thinking of all my failures as a wife. Not that I miss my husabnd, because I really don't that much, but because I had been praying for the Lrod to teach me lessons - to show me my heart and create a clean one within me. Boy did that ever open a can of worms. It is ugly. "man's heart is desperately wicked". David knew what he was talking about. I still feel that I did "my best" but that my "best" next time would be radically different.

IT's a journey, just like every other trail we go through in this life. I don't think you're rationalizing, I think you're being honest about your shortcomings and that's the best frame of mind to be in before the Lord.

 

[4Christ2]

(Proverbs 6:16) These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
(Proverbs 6:17) A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,(Proverbs 6:18) A heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
(Proverbs 6:19) A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

All of these things were present in my 25 year marriage. It ended because my husband and I both sinned against God and each other.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Well, in my opinion - which is only as valuable as you wish it to be - we reap what we sow.

But this is not a vendetta reaping. What we sow is what we NEED. Rememember Jesus was from the East, so Karma is more about what we NEED rather than what we DESERVE. If God punished us or gave us what we DESERVE, none of us would be here today. So, we reap what we NEED. Some of us need harsh, horrible and real lessons i life, living, loving an self-respect. Others need to learn how to give, serve and desire. Still others need to learn how to be open an honest an accept how wonderful they really are.

So, does God punish us? Is the wrong question to ask. A better way to consier such things is to say "I will not get what I deserve, because of GRACE, so I will expect to get what I NEED - which will be as beautiful an painfull as it should be, for my benefit."

In this attitude, God becomes lover once more, not hater.

Peace out.

 

[Gimpy]

Yes, we are all failures in our relationships or we would not be here. But we must remember, its a two way street. Just learn and move on. Remember, though, no two relationships are the same, ever. So, dont think that because you have learned so much from one or two relationships, that the next will be easier. It wont be.
I have seen it too many times to know. Believe me, if its not one thing its two hundred others.
Above all, LOVE with all your heart, and keep on learning and growing.

 

[deliciousBass]

Well, in my opinion - which is only as valuable as you wish it to be - we reap what we sow.

But this is not a vendetta reaping. What we sow is what we NEED. Rememember Jesus was from the East, so Karma is more about what we NEED rather than what we DESERVE. If God punished us or gave us what we DESERVE, none of us would be here today. So, we reap what we NEED. Some of us need harsh, horrible and real lessons i life, living, loving an self-respect. Others need to learn how to give, serve and desire. Still others need to learn how to be open an honest an accept how wonderful they really are.

So, does God punish us? Is the wrong question to ask. A better way to consier such things is to say "I will not get what I deserve, because of GRACE, so I will expect to get what I NEED - which will be as beautiful an painfull as it should be, for my benefit."

In this attitude, God becomes lover once more, not hater.

Peace out.

That's actually a pretty good way of putting it. Thanks dude.

 

[pboop]

Well, in my opinion - which is only as valuable as you wish it to be - we reap what we sow.

But this is not a vendetta reaping. What we sow is what we NEED. Rememember Jesus was from the East, so Karma is more about what we NEED rather than what we DESERVE. If God punished us or gave us what we DESERVE, none of us would be here today. So, we reap what we NEED. Some of us need harsh, horrible and real lessons i life, living, loving an self-respect. Others need to learn how to give, serve and desire. Still others need to learn how to be open an honest an accept how wonderful they really are.

So, does God punish us? Is the wrong question to ask. A better way to consier such things is to say "I will not get what I deserve, because of GRACE, so I will expect to get what I NEED - which will be as beautiful an painfull as it should be, for my benefit."

In this attitude, God becomes lover once more, not hater.

Peace out.

God bless you. That was a really good response!

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

YAY! Well, with all the absolute rubbish I talk, the odds are I'd get lucky just randomly hitting the keys one night!!!!

LOL.

Thank you guy and girl, you know it's this real-life stuff that makes life real! And worth living. You are always welcome to add my addy and chat on msn or whatever.

Peace out.

 

[Indea88]

I feel like that right now and have felt this way for the last 6 weeks...The things I said when my lips should have been closed, speaking blessings instead. The things I didn't do for him and our home. I feel like this is a consequence and a learning experience in the wilderness. Because I eally feel like I'm in the wilderness, alone, afraid and remorseful. Yes, I and you have been forgiven, thanks to God's grace, but I can't help sometimes feeling as if I deserve every painful moment I am coping with now...

 

[AliOgg]

I know that I've done a lot of bad things that helped cause my separation....you do eventually reap what you sow. But I can't help but think at times that this is all still part of God's plan for me. That he is dishing out punishment to me for being disobedient and that he is doing it through my wife..

For example, many of the lessons that I am learning now are lessons that I failed to learn before my wife left me. Most importantly, patience. I have always been an impatient person and suffered from anxiety problems that caused me to rush into things and lose my temper easily.

This is one reason why I think separation can be a good thing at times. When this first happened and I was faced with all the regret and "what ifs", I embarked on a journey of making permanent changes in my life that are for the better. Don't get me wrong, this is still a painful experience, but I can't help but think "You deserve this" and "learn your lesson and you will be better off than when you started."

Does anybody here who is going through a divorce or is separated every feel like you are getting what you deserve? Or am I just trying to rationalize my feelings of guilt?

God Bless You

yep !!

And God Bless All His Peoples.