My Youngest Son Drank a Lot as a Teen. Then got hooked on pain pills.

[3pete333]

And he quit working after a heat stroke 3 years ago. We can barely get him out of bed. But he does not diagnose as depressed, nor with a findable mental health problem. He was raised to work by me and his grandparents and his brother always did and now owns 3 businesses actually.
The younger boy started Methadone to get off the pain meds and booze, but now I think takes too much of it.

We can barely get him to do anything than watch TV, or sleep. Occasionally he visits me. He lives with my ex wife. He was raised in a strong church, but went slightly rogue. I suspect he has something in his mind that he won't even let on to anyone.
But anyway, Idk even where to start to jolt him into the realization that he could do much better. And I battled depression for years, so I know that problem inside and out.
Any advice? Outside of prayer? I have asked specific people to specifically pray for him as well as my older boy. Ages 28 and 23.

Sorry so long,
pete

 

[coconut6373]

Hi Pete, my son struggled with the same issues. It was a nightmare for a while. The only thing you can do is let go and let God. Unfortunately, at times nothing we do will change the person. I would recommend going to Al-Anon and learning about enabling. Take care of yourself first. I hope he (and you) get better. He is an adult now and he has to REALLY WANT to change before he will get better.

We had to kick my son out which is very difficult. He is back now and is more appreciative and really trying. He has been working 12 hour shifts 7 days a week where before he would be high every day. If you are not receptive to al-anon or nar-anon I would recommend talking to a counselor.

 

[3pete333]

Hi Pete, my son struggled with the same issues. It was a nightmare for a while. The only thing you can do is let go and let God. Unfortunately, at times nothing we do will change the person. I would recommend going to Al-Anon and learning about enabling. Take care of yourself first. I hope he (and you) get better. He is an adult now and he has to REALLY WANT to change before he will get better.

We had to kick my son out which is very difficult. He is back now and is more appreciative and really trying. He has been working 12 hour shifts 7 days a week where before he would be high every day. If you are not receptive to al-anon or nar-anon I would recommend talking to a counselor.

There is a branch of Al anon that uses God as it's "Higher Power." I would be open to that.
He does not live with me and I do not give him money. I do pay for 1/2 of his doctors visit's but did not do that while he was drinking or using pain meds.
The only special category of folks I know that deal with addiction differently are severly and clinically depressed people. Because they don't care about anything, they also don't care if they ever quit. I'm afraid he has some level of true depression because both me and my dad have dealt with it. But we didn't have the bent towards addiction to go along with it which seems to thread richly through my ex wife's family. He may have got both problems.
I would be delighted to see a counselour, but can't make him go. There is a local church affiliated trained counselor who might now where to direct us with this and I have spoke to her, but not enough because I was waiting on my son to want to change.
Thanks for your help. pete