My (young) kids visiting another church

[Julesgules]

Hello brothers & sisters.

I am looking for some suggestions/ideas/words of wisdom...

My young children and I attend an independent baptist church, which we love. My husband doesn't go with us, (except on rare occasions). That being said... his mom (who lives nearby) keeps the kids once a month on the weekend, and she likes to take them to her church, (which I would describe as a large, city-wide, charismatic, non-denominational church with all the flashing lights and "bells & whistles"). When my kids go, they do indeed have fun. My 6 year old talks about how they got to play videogames, and my daughter talks about how she won a donut-eating contest. But they don't tell me what they learned about Jesus, unless I pry... It ends up being a watered down message presented in a worldly fashion.

I'm concerned because my little one will whine about going to our church after spending a weekend with her. He says her church is "more fun". I guess what concerns me is that it seems the entertainment aspect comes before the Christ aspect there.... I don't want to raise them to believe that's what it takes for church to be a place worth attending. I personally prefer a good ole fashioned service where the church doesn't look like the world, (and I understand they will make their own choices when they are adults, but right now they are still young). (My 10 year old loves our church for the friendships she's made & growing closer to the Lord. My 6 year old likes our church well enough, but often compares it to his grandma's church).

How do I tell my mother-in-law that I don't want them to go to church with her when they stay the night with her? I hate confrontation. Next time I drop them off to stay the night at her house, can I just say "I will pick them up Sunday morning on the way to church and bring them back to you afterward."

I hope I'm not being too anal about this... but their spiritual upbringing is most important to me. Should I just leave the issue alone and let God work it out? Thank you in advance.

 

[Tolworth John]

but their spiritual upbringing is most important to me

Then your priority is your husband. Why doesn't he attend church with his family?
Stats, yes stats show that when Dad attends church more than 50% of the children go on to have a faith.
When Dad doesn't, but Mum does only 30% go on to have a faith.

As your kids get older you will be able to help them to se the differences between the two styles of worship and preaching.
Grandma is in for a shock when one of her grandchildren tells her that her church while it is fun, doesn't know who Jesus is! Doesn't practise what the Bible teaches etc etc.

 

[SkyWriting]

Hello brothers & sisters.

I am looking for some suggestions/ideas/words of wisdom...

My young children and I attend an independent baptist church, which we love. My husband doesn't go with us, (except on rare occasions). That being said... his mom (who lives nearby) keeps the kids once a month on the weekend, and she likes to take them to her church, (which I would describe as a large, city-wide, charismatic, non-denominational church with all the flashing lights and "bells & whistles"). When my kids go, they do indeed have fun. My 6 year old talks about how they got to play videogames, and my daughter talks about how she won a donut-eating contest. But they don't tell me what they learned about Jesus, unless I pry... It ends up being a watered down message presented in a worldly fashion.

I'm concerned because my little one will whine about going to our church after spending a weekend with her. He says her church is "more fun". I guess what concerns me is that it seems the entertainment aspect comes before the Christ aspect there.... I don't want to raise them to believe that's what it takes for church to be a place worth attending. I personally prefer a good ole fashioned service where the church doesn't look like the world, (and I understand they will make their own choices when they are adults, but right now they are still young). (My 10 year old loves our church for the friendships she's made & growing closer to the Lord. My 6 year old likes our church well enough, but often compares it to his grandma's church).

How do I tell my mother-in-law that I don't want them to go to church with her when they stay the night with her? I hate confrontation. Next time I drop them off to stay the night at her house, can I just say "I will pick them up Sunday morning on the way to church and bring them back to you afterward."

I hope I'm not being too anal about this... but their spiritual upbringing is most important to me. Should I just leave the issue alone and let God work it out? Thank you in advance.

If they don't wear masks you should keep them home.

 

[jacks]

Should I just leave the issue alone and let God work it out?

This is what I would suggest. There are way too many variables to say what is correct. The bottom line; they are going to church with their grandma and enjoying it, who knows what wonderful things can become of this. Leave it in God's hands.

 

[98cwitr]

If they don't wear masks you should keep them home.

We have been back in church with no mask requirements since last Sept.

As for the OP. Your husband needs to be in church with his family. Also almost equally important, church is not playtime or entertainment, it's to worship God. This needs to be instilled in your children. Combat any false messages with Scripture. Do you or your husband still read to your children at bed time? If so, get Scripture in front of them, and verses that tell the truth and combat falsehoods. If you don't, then start.

God has created our children, and assigned us to be their earthly stewards. We let God down if we do not lead in righteousness.


Deuteronomy 11:18-19
New International Version

18 Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 19 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

It's the church's job to reinforce theology, it's not their job to teach it our children, that's our job as their parents. I read Scripture with my 3 year old every night. I have taught him to pray. He can recite the Lord's Prayer, and have discussed the meaning of the words. This must be done in the home, and consistently and chronically.

 

[Sophrosyne]

It is good they are enthusiastic about going to any church and a watered down message is still a message. I agree with another here in that your worry about them should be more focused on your husband as I grew up in a household that mom went to church (and forced us to go to churches that were no fun) and we learned very little from them going from a stale Church with a pipe organ and dusty hymnals I felt like I was 80 years old there it was so uninviting. My father never went to church and I felt like going to church was an extra chore as if I didn't behave and attend I would be punished similarly. I learned nothing from that church other than a tour of the pipe organ.
You probably need to get kids in a bible study at your church and it would be a good thing if you could find something fun to do together after church to help counter the fun church. Kids like fun and being fun with them will keep you front and center their hero.

 

[seeking.IAM]

I wish my parents would have exposed me to different Christian expressions as a child. It might have saved me a lot of searching on my own as an adult.

 

[Julesgules]

Thank you all for the helpful comments. Since it was mentioned... I very much wish my husband went to church with us. Although he believes & will say grace when we sit down for dinner, he still doesn't attend... He has went a few times & says he "wishes he could make himself get up & go". I dont push it. It's been a longtime prayer of mine that the Lord hasn't answered quite yet....

 

[Julesgules]

@Sophrosyne
"stale Church with a pipe organ and dusty hymnals I felt like I was 80 years old there it was so uninviting."

This made me laugh & I understand. Our church certainly isn't "dusty" nor caters to a predominately age 80+ crowd, but I can see why you mention it. I guess if you compared our church to the "rockstar" theatrics of the other, ours would appear as such. I do personally love the old hymns... fortunately our song leader has a wonderful zeal for God & the congregation has a wonderful spirit to worship without feeling "stuffy". My kids are involved in bible study at church... I was simply trying to make a distinction. It's like if you put a bowl of fruit in front of someone or a big slice of chocolate cake with smore-flavored icing.... they will always choose the cake over the fruit (even though one might be better for them). That might be a bad comparison.... Ah well... thank you for your comment though.

 

[Jeffwhosoever]

I've been to so many churches counting them is like the stars to me now, but I relate to all being said here and we had to contend with such as well, and I will pray your husband finds one of those seldom attended services to open up his heart to the Lord. I'm one of that 30% and my son is in the 50%, but thanks to my grandmother for taking me and being an example of what being a Christian is all about. I found a quote in her bible years after she passed that cited "the greatest wealth we have is what we give away" and that sums up my grandmother in 10 words.

 

[East of Eden]

I wish my parents would have exposed me to different Christian expressions as a child. It might have saved me a lot of searching on my own as an adult.

The point of the OP is she feels the grandmother's Christian expression is a wrong one, why would she want to expose her child to a wrong view of Christianity? Jesus and the Apostles didn't water down anything to appeal to 'seekers'.