5.25.04
Abused and used. I feel dirt-cheap. All your lies and excuses. Talk is nothing. Empty words flow from your mouth. I dont think you could handle the truth. I will cave in one day, you will see. No more double talk and no more cover-ups. Theres no one there to help. Everyone is looking out for themselves. Ill put my faith in you. No more double talk. No more cover-ups. Just the truth.
5.22.04
Do you ever wish you could turn back time? That you could change the way you handled a situation or step back and appreciate a moment you were given? I do. There are times when I wish I could change everything, but then there are times when I know that things are exactly how they should be. Yeah, there were plenty of heartaches and pain, but there were also moments that took my breath away. Even if I could somehow take away everything that has caused me so much pain, I dont really think Id do it. I wouldnt be who I am today. Good or bad? Im not sure. These experiences have only made me stronger. Because of what Ive gone through, I know I can tackle just about anything that is thrown at me. And I think I like that. Im still on a rocky road, tackling the most challenging things I have ever come across, but you know what? I can do it. I really can.
4.28.04
A bittersweet moment comes when you know youre losing something that youll never get back again. Its the kind of feeling you only get once, but never want to feel again. In time you realize how precious the moment was. The mixed feeling of pure joy and sorrow sweeps across your heart. A place in time where you gain your strength from: your heart unsure to let go. Inside you the moment lasts forever, as you relive it in your dreams. But time has passed, and you must let go. This moment, like the ones before, must be placed in your heart - a memory in time.
3.20.04
I want to forget the day I felt like nothing could ever be the same. I wish I could forget the way I felt when we moved. The awkward first day of high school. I barely knew my address and phone number, and I had to take the bus home. I had never even been on a school bus before. I was so nervous and scared.
I wish I could forget the way I felt when I found out you were telling everyone that I was a lesbian. I was so mordified and hurt. I wish I could forget the day a new friend left me, in fear of being affected by these rumors. The start of bad to worse.
I wish I could forget the day when you stole my things and wanted to hurt me. I wish you didn't hate me. I just wanted to be left alone. Everyday, for over 2 years, you hurt me. You scarred my heart more than you even know. I vividly remember your words and the way they made me feel. You found your pride in hurting me.
I wish I could forget all those times you promised you wouldn't hurt me, but you did. I was with you for 2 years and you never kept your promise. Your words and hands hurt me. The day I finally left, you begged for me to stay. You said you'd change and you cried. You never thought I'd leave your abuse. But I did.
I wish I could forget all of the times you made plans with me, then ditched me for someone better. I wished I was a different person. I wished you would've like me.I wish I never heard all of those words that hurt my broken heart.
Now I punish me, for being who I was. For being who I am. Maybe I deserved it, maybe not. But now I'm trapped in this addiction. A kind that hurts me more. I remember all of these things and put a razor to my skin. Feeling the pain you made me feel, all over once again.
Abused and used. I feel dirt-cheap. All your lies and excuses. Talk is nothing. Empty words flow from your mouth. I dont think you could handle the truth. I will cave in one day, you will see. No more double talk and no more cover-ups. Theres no one there to help. Everyone is looking out for themselves. Ill put my faith in you. No more double talk. No more cover-ups. Just the truth.
5.22.04
Do you ever wish you could turn back time? That you could change the way you handled a situation or step back and appreciate a moment you were given? I do. There are times when I wish I could change everything, but then there are times when I know that things are exactly how they should be. Yeah, there were plenty of heartaches and pain, but there were also moments that took my breath away. Even if I could somehow take away everything that has caused me so much pain, I dont really think Id do it. I wouldnt be who I am today. Good or bad? Im not sure. These experiences have only made me stronger. Because of what Ive gone through, I know I can tackle just about anything that is thrown at me. And I think I like that. Im still on a rocky road, tackling the most challenging things I have ever come across, but you know what? I can do it. I really can.
4.28.04
A bittersweet moment comes when you know youre losing something that youll never get back again. Its the kind of feeling you only get once, but never want to feel again. In time you realize how precious the moment was. The mixed feeling of pure joy and sorrow sweeps across your heart. A place in time where you gain your strength from: your heart unsure to let go. Inside you the moment lasts forever, as you relive it in your dreams. But time has passed, and you must let go. This moment, like the ones before, must be placed in your heart - a memory in time.
3.20.04
I want to forget the day I felt like nothing could ever be the same. I wish I could forget the way I felt when we moved. The awkward first day of high school. I barely knew my address and phone number, and I had to take the bus home. I had never even been on a school bus before. I was so nervous and scared.
I wish I could forget the way I felt when I found out you were telling everyone that I was a lesbian. I was so mordified and hurt. I wish I could forget the day a new friend left me, in fear of being affected by these rumors. The start of bad to worse.
I wish I could forget the day when you stole my things and wanted to hurt me. I wish you didn't hate me. I just wanted to be left alone. Everyday, for over 2 years, you hurt me. You scarred my heart more than you even know. I vividly remember your words and the way they made me feel. You found your pride in hurting me.
I wish I could forget all those times you promised you wouldn't hurt me, but you did. I was with you for 2 years and you never kept your promise. Your words and hands hurt me. The day I finally left, you begged for me to stay. You said you'd change and you cried. You never thought I'd leave your abuse. But I did.
I wish I could forget all of the times you made plans with me, then ditched me for someone better. I wished I was a different person. I wished you would've like me.I wish I never heard all of those words that hurt my broken heart.
Now I punish me, for being who I was. For being who I am. Maybe I deserved it, maybe not. But now I'm trapped in this addiction. A kind that hurts me more. I remember all of these things and put a razor to my skin. Feeling the pain you made me feel, all over once again.
