My world is ending

[Andy Broadley]

As i type this the tears are making it pretty hard to see right, so if I get some words wrong,I'm soory.

I have been with to my wife for a little over 5 and a half years, and there are 4 children to whom I am dad, even though I am biologically not their father. Things have not been great for a while. We should have been going on holiday yesterday. Friday night she said she would not go, and that she wanted out the marriage.

A couple of hours ago I came into the bedroom to find her on the computer having an openly sexual cinverstaion with another man online.

She has gone out at the miment, and I am sitting here alone devestated. I don't know what to think or do. I feel so lost and alone and pain is indescribable.

I love her so very much and only want to spend the rest of my life with her, but it's looking like it's all over for us.

I'm falling apart and can't do anything about it.

 

[madison1101]

I suggest that you pray earnestly, and seek the Lord in this situation. Cry out to God and beg Him to change her heart.

I also suggest that you ask your wife to go to marital therapy with you. Tell her you do not want your marriage to end, and that you will fight to save it.

God bless.

Madison-Trish

 

[bostonlass]

Oh my gosh Andy!!!



I don't know what to say other than I have been where you are and it's just aweful. The feeling of helplessness is the absolute worst. Above all, prayer will lead you through this very very difficult time.

There may be the chance that she is very naiive to the ways of the internet and she is as a result quite confused as to what is going on. Pray for her. Pray for you and please try to get into counseling ASAP.

These children are yours? Oh my gosh ask her to think of your children.

Just know that God is looking out for all of you. When my husband left me I used to read that footprints story over and over and over again because though I prayed night and day I did not feel His presence. It was only after about a year when I was able to look back that I recognized that He was carrying me through this.

peace

bridget

 

[InTheFlame]

Andy...

Have you two been going to counselling? Is there any room for negotiation, or is she closed to all other options but leaving?

My heart's breaking for you, mate. Keeping you in my prayers.

 

[Andy Broadley]

Andy...

Have you two been going to counselling? Is there any room for negotiation, or is she closed to all other options but leaving?

My heart's breaking for you, mate. Keeping you in my prayers.

At this particular moment in time, there is no communication whatsoever. I think that it is mainly because today is a bank holiday, so whatever her plans are interms of making me leave, solicitors etc. cannot be implemented until tomorrow. Tuesday I feel will be a crucial day.

Last night she ws adament that she wanted me to leave, in fact gave me two hurs to do so. I simply stayed out of her way and nothing happened. Today she has not spoken at all.

We now see what tomorrow brings

 

[bostonlass]

At this particular moment in time, there is no communication whatsoever. I think that it is mainly because today is a bank holiday, so whatever her plans are interms of making me leave, solicitors etc. cannot be implemented until tomorrow. Tuesday I feel will be a crucial day.

Last night she ws adament that she wanted me to leave, in fact gave me two hurs to do so. I simply stayed out of her way and nothing happened. Today she has not spoken at all.

We now see what tomorrow brings

If that's the case then I suggest first thing tomorrow to contact a GOOD lawyer and whatever you do, do not move out of that house. I'm not a lawyer but I do know that when the husband (or wife) leaves the home, his/her rights to the home are in peril due to abandonment claims. She may know this (I would hope she does not) and could be trying to get you to leave to claim that you have abandoned the family.

This is just horrible. Please contact someone who knows the law in your area.

 

[lonnienord]

As you know i am praying for you!!

Awesome all powerful GOD please protect Andy and his marriage!! Keep him and his wife in the palm of your hand!! Help them recapture their original love!!

 

[Caedmon]

Know that I am praying for you, brother.

 

[InTheFlame]

Updates, brother?

 

[E-beth]

Wow...I don't know what to say, but my tears are added to yours.

Having been through a divorce where I was the one who moved out and gave up my house, I beg you not to make the same mistake. If she wants out of the marriage so badly, then she should be the one to leave, kids or no kids.

Sometimes I think the internet is one of the worst offenders for breaking up marriages. I am so so so so sorry...

Praying for you.

 

[Andy Broadley]

Unfortunately, in this situation my housing rights are almost non existent. It is a rented house and the tenancy is in Karens name, so I basically don't have a leg to stand on.

At this time, the situation is no better than a few days ago. Hard to say if it is worse or not. I still think the next few days will be crucial, but I'm not terriblt optimistic.

 

[Ann M]

Oh Andy I hadn't realised.

I'm so sorry that this is happening. You had been so looking forward to your holiday.

You're in my thoughts and my prayers.

..............................


Will this help?

 

[InTheFlame]

Praying for you two, mate. I hope you find a way to start reconnecting.

 

[MJT82]

Man, I am sorry to hear your situation. I know what you are going through, which is tremendous initial shock (my world is ending). I know that feeling, it is horrific. I am going through a devasting time too right now, my wife completely walked out of our marriage and is with another man, she filed for divorce too. Long story, but she has no biblical grounds at all, her own personal problems and idolatry for worldy desires created the mess I am in.

But whatever happens, I promise you the Lord will see you through it. Just cling to Him, commune with Him thoughout your day. If you don't listen to Christian music, I'd suggest start listening to your local christian music radio station and/or buy some Christian Worship CD's and play them in your car, or anytime you're alone in your house. Anything you can do to keep your focus on God and His Goodness will give you hope and strength. This helps me tremendously. And remember to pray, a lot. Pray against her taking this internet thing any further, hopefully she has not found someone else (in person) already.

If you've never read this book, I recommend you buy it immediately, it is called "Love Must Be Tough", by Dr. James Dobson. I just got done reading it, took me two days in my spare time, I just couldn't put it down. It will very much apply to your situation and offer great advice and encouragement on what to do. I wish I had read this book sooner myself and maybe I could have done some things differently.

God bless you, you are in my prayers.
-Mike

 

[Andy Broadley]

Unfortunately, in this situation my housing rights are almost non existent. It is a rented house and the tenancy is in Karens name, so I basically don't have a leg to stand on.

At this time, the situation is no better than a few days ago. Hard to say if it is worse or not. I still think the next few days will be crucial, but I'm not terriblt optimistic.

Hard to believe that it's only 12 hours since I posted this. So much has happened in that time, but I'm still on my feet (just). We have taken step one. That's all, no more no less, but the journey of a thousand miles has to start somewhere.

 

[Andy Broadley]

I feel exremely down and alone right now. I fear the worst and my heart is breaking.
Went to church tis morning and all I wanted to do was scream and yell at God for not helping me.

 

[lonnienord]

churches need a screeming room!!!!!!!!!! I continue to pray for you!!

 

[InTheFlame]

Andy - praying for you. Please keep us updated. And if you need someone to talk to or get advice from, let us know, hey?

 

[RThibeault]

I am so sorry for your situation. I could give you alot of advice, but alot of it will depend on both you and her. And sad to say, as much as it may hurt, alot will depend on her. If she is not willing to work on this relationship then there is not much you can do, until she realizes the error of her ways (if she does).

All you can do is still love and care for her. Be there to pick up the pieces, she is going to need that. And as much as you can, be there for the children.

 

[Andy Broadley]

Not updated much recently, but i think it's now time to accept that things are coming to an end and there is nothing I can do about it. I'll update further when I get my head together a bit, but for now I'm facing up to reality that I'm very soon going to be single again. Possibly very very soon.

Prayers will, as always, be appreciated, but I don't think it will change anything now.