My wife I think is cheating on me need advice in this complicated thing .

[Spiderkiller007]

I have terminal stage 4 cancer I was originally given 3 months now it’s 3 years thanks to Gods grace and mercy , it’s been tough failed open heart surgery ( to try and remove the tumour ) I am weak , full of bruises and scars , for most of that time she was by my side going through this awful battle , if you would have asked me how we were doing a week before all this I would have said great ! We enjoyed each other’s company, didn’t really ever fight ,but her mom became very ill and she decided to go back to the Philippines to spend time with her before she passed , we agreed 2 months would be lots , when she got there I started to feel something had changed , she was distracted, distant, having a conversation became like pulling teeth , when I asked when she was getting a ticket to come home ( she had bought a one way ticket) she got mad blew up and told me she wanted to be there for her second grandchild’s birth ( that was 3-4months more ) so I thought well that’s perhaps that’s why distant , then a few days later my daughter shows me a romantic tik tok video of her singing a sappy love song with the hashtag “ love you miss you I will wait for you “
I saw hearts likes I love you auntie over and over from one particular guy , turns out a coworker , I noticed she had other videos like this and she would post and he would post the same type of video, they did one together at work , I asked what is this ? She’s oh nothing just friends I also saw she put likes on all his stuff on fb tik tok , I said I didn’t like it , it doesn’t look good , and to stop also she went through her fb and erased ten years of memories pictures of me her status is single! When asked why ? Oh it’s nothing, so I thought well maybe it’s emotional affair and I caught it before anything really bad happened , I thought perhaps she got caught up in the flirting and shallow validation of the whole tik tok world ,so I forgave her even though she still never admitted wrong doing , then she goes to a wedding, doesn’t tell me until after the fact and is 4 hours away ( she does not travel for anyone like that by herself) so I thought why did she not tell me because all of a sudden no contact for three days ( apparently bad wi-fi ) so then afterwards she’s great with me tells me “ I’m love you, miss you “ but I know more than likely is she was with someone.

 

[eleos1954]

I have terminal stage 4 cancer I was originally given 3 months now it’s 3 years thanks to Gods grace and mercy , it’s been tough failed open heart surgery ( to try and remove the tumour ) I am weak , full of bruises and scars , for most of that time she was by my side going through this awful battle , if you would have asked me how we were doing a week before all this I would have said great ! We enjoyed each other’s company, didn’t really ever fight ,but her mom became very ill and she decided to go back to the Philippines to spend time with her before she passed , we agreed 2 months would be lots , when she got there I started to feel something had changed , she was distracted, distant, having a conversation became like pulling teeth , when I asked when she was getting a ticket to come home ( she had bought a one way ticket) she got mad blew up and told me she wanted to be there for her second grandchild’s birth ( that was 3-4months more ) so I thought well that’s perhaps that’s why distant , then a few days later my daughter shows me a romantic tik tok video of her singing a sappy love song with the hashtag “ love you miss you I will wait for you “
I saw hearts likes I love you auntie over and over from one particular guy , turns out a coworker , I noticed she had other videos like this and she would post and he would post the same type of video, they did one together at work , I asked what is this ? She’s oh nothing just friends I also saw she put likes on all his stuff on fb tik tok , I said I didn’t like it , it doesn’t look good , and to stop also she went through her fb and erased ten years of memories pictures of me her status is single! When asked why ? Oh it’s nothing, so I thought well maybe it’s emotional affair and I caught it before anything really bad happened , I thought perhaps she got caught up in the flirting and shallow validation of the whole tik tok world ,so I forgave her even though she still never admitted wrong doing , then she goes to a wedding, doesn’t tell me until after the fact and is 4 hours away ( she does not travel for anyone like that by herself) so I thought why did she not tell me because all of a sudden no contact for three days ( apparently bad wi-fi ) so then afterwards she’s great with me tells me “ I’m love you, miss you “ but I know more than likely is she was with someone.

well ... suppose she is ..... then what?

 

[Adventist Dissident]

well ... suppose she is ..... then what?

WOW!!!! what an amazingly cold response.

 

[Spiderkiller007]

well ... suppose she is ..... then what?

That’s why I am asking ? Now what do I do ?

 

[pdudgeon]

That’s why I am asking ? Now what do I do ?

There are three things you can do.
1. Keep her in the know regarding your condition. As your wife, she deserves that consideration.
2. Make sure that your own legal and financial situation is in order.
3.if you have other next of kin (or a lawyer) besides your wife, keep them in the know so that they can act on your behalf, in case your wife is not available.
Until the situation changes, that is enough.

 

[eleos1954]

That’s why I am asking ? Now what do I do ?

well ... Iv'e been through this .... didn't know for sure .... prayed to know for sure .... God provided that for me (in a very unique way) .... devastating and heart breaking .... nearly divorced .... separated for several months .... did end up getting back together .... forgiveness was not easy .... but it did come over much time ... because once a trust is broken it takes a long time before it is restored.

He denied the affair for a long time ... but did finally "fess" up to it .... never apologized for it ... that's fine .... it was between Him and God anyway.

Not having trust in your lifetime partner is a difficult way to proceed with your lives together.
Was about 5-6 years before I was rid of it totally and trust was restored.

People get confused and drawn into things they thought they would never do.

So, whether right or wrong ... I came to this .... if you want to be together then this can not happen again .... and if it does then you have decided you want a divorce so file for one .... if not then I will. We never discussed the matter again.

 

[Norbert L]

tells me “ I’m love you, miss you “ but I know more than likely is she was with someone.

That’s why I am asking ? Now what do I do ?

Marriage is between two people and God.

Unless there's a third choice, it seems there are only two outcomes. Either you work it out between the three of you or divorce her for fornication.

If you're up for an adventure, find two or more opinions from Christian pastors. Pick a few church's that you like, walk through the front door. Find the pastor and look them straight in the eye.

 

[Brian Mcnamee]

Hi I am going to pray for you and your situation. You need to pray and seek the LORD for wisdom, truth and understanding. You obviously do not know what you should do so seek the LORD and wait on him. He will direct your path and when you have that assurance through prayer fasting and you hear that voice there will be peace with your decision. The one brother did give you great advice about your finances and next of kin that is a practical step. The relationship part is an emotional and very personal matter. This is doubly difficult in your physical condition.

 

[Pavel Mosko]

That’s why I am asking ? Now what do I do ?

I have to second @Big_John said. Except for prayer, very little you can do. Things like Faithfulness has to come from a person's commitment to Christ etc. if they don't have that etc. it's really hard. even potentially useless and counter productive to think that you are going to talk them into or guilt trip them into that. I guess the one exception to that is if your wife has a good Christian friend, or family member that she looks up to then maybe you can tell that person your problems, and maybe have them plead your case...

But regardless of what happens with your wife, maybe you can use this crisis as an opportunity to get closer to the Lord and to deepen your faith.

 

[BobRyan]

I have terminal stage 4 cancer I was originally given 3 months now it’s 3 years thanks to Gods grace and mercy , it’s been tough failed open heart surgery ( to try and remove the tumour ) I am weak , full of bruises and scars

Clearly your time left for suffering is now very very short. You have almost crossed the finish line. All you have to do is keeping looking up and not let anything distract you from the big win. You have endured a lot of suffering as a faithful soldier.

As Jesus approached the end of His life He was forsaken by all -- even his closest disciples left him ... they ran away.

Matt 10:

34 “Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I came to turn a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; 36 and a person’s enemies will be the members of his household.

37 “The one who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and the one who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. 38 And the one who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. 39 The one who has found his life will lose it, and the one who has lost his life on My account will find it.​

He knew the bitter taste of rejection even in his last moments "My God My God why have you forsaken Me?" - yet still trusting in His Father to the very last second "Into Thy hands I commit My spirit". Now He reigns once again as king of the entire universe with His Father and calls us to follow His example. He suffered ahead of us - He showed us the path to victory. Only we will never have to say that prayer ""My God My God why have you forsaken Me?" for we are His children.

Here is a great online commentary to help focus on the life of Christ -read it and it will help your perspective a lot.

The Desire of Ages

I am praying that your faith does not fail no matter what your wife chooses and that your wife will do the right thing.

 

[eleos1954]

WOW!!!! what an amazingly cold response.

no .... it's a real response .... when this happens .... everyone considers the possibility .... have you ever been through it? I have .... I know

 

[Adventist Dissident]

no .... it's a real response .... when this happens .... everyone considers the possibility .... have you ever been through it? I have .... I know

weather a person has been through it or not is irrelevant. On should have compassion for the person suffering. Your response does not have any compassion or concern for the brothers well being. He is suffering, badly so tact is in order. He obviously came here for some help and advice and encouragement and recieved none from you. Now am done talking about this. YOU are not the issue the brother is. so lets get back to helping the brother and stop talking about you. Learn from your mistake an move.

 

[Petros2015]

she went through her fb and erased ten years of memories pictures of me her status is single!

Ouch. That's not nothing, that's a really bad sign.
It's not unrecoverable, but it ain't good and it's a very public demonstration of non-commitment.
I think she's jumping the gun on the "till death do us part" bit.

 

[Spiderkiller007]

Ouch. That's not nothing, that's a really bad sign.
It's not unrecoverable, but it ain't good and it's a very public demonstration of non-commitment.
I think she's jumping the gun on the "till death do us part" bit.[/QUOT

 

[Spiderkiller007]

Ouch. That's not nothing, that's a really bad sign.
It's not unrecoverable, but it ain't good and it's a very public demonstration of non-commitment.
I think she's jumping the gun on the "till death do us part" bit.

That’s cleaver I will have to remember that! Lol

 

[Landon Caeli]

Yes, your daughter is your #1. If it were me, I would call her in the evenings, and tell her how much you love her, or just ask her how things are going. She seems like she loves you very much.

 

[Brian Mcnamee]

Hi on another front start seeking some alternative health information about cancer and all as 1st hand I went through some skin cancer I had a sore on my lip that was growing and very painful it would scab up where it did not hurt but then it fell off it felt like it was on fire. I went to Kaiser and they did a Mo's surgery where they basically just dug it out. This was not a fun experience as the numb you out dig at your lip and then look at the tissue until they think they got it all they dug in there 4 times then they burn the lip shut. When the anesthesia wore off that was a new level of pain I experienced. Anyways a few months later the sore came back. I had researched apricot seed kernel and how they have arsenic in them but this some say can cure skin cancer. I fact checked it and all the official medical guys said it is no good. I had read many testimonials of people who said it works. Rather than go back for more surgery I ordered the apricot kernels. The sore went away and that was 5 years ago and has not come back. The American Cancer Society was started by John d Rockefeller and he soon took over the medical colleges and took out all the holistic medicine and turned it into big Pharma. Do some research you might have more time than they say and you could perhaps get healthier.

 

[eleos1954]

weather a person has been through it or not is irrelevant. On should have compassion for the person suffering. Your response does not have any compassion or concern for the brothers well being. He is suffering, badly so tact is in order. He obviously came here for some help and advice and encouragement and recieved none from you. Now am done talking about this. YOU are not the issue the brother is. so lets get back to helping the brother and stop talking about you. Learn from your mistake an move.

Seems you missed the point of the story .... important word in there ... PRAYER, answers to prayer and restoration .... but took some time.

A real story of the love and power of God and a person who experienced it.

Through prayer (one step at a time), He will indeed help him through this very difficult time, I have no doubt ... nor should he.

 

[Hannah66]

Firstly, brother, i want to say how sorry I am for all you have been through with your health. That is a lot to endure. I will be praying for you.
Secondly, I have been through similar in my life and it is very painful.
The not -knowing can be very stressful.

I don't know what is going on with her, but God does.
I hope and pray you get some answers and I pray that God will carry you through this season of pain and heartache.

Do you have any support from family/friends? I feel, at this time, given your health issues, self-care is important. I know you are probably feeling great anxiety.

I hope and pray your wife can give you the answers you are seeking.
Pray for her and also this situation. God cares about your marriage.

I will be praying for you.

 

[Hannah66]

Oh, I also wanted to add, this is not your fault and you are very precious in God's sight.