My Way Did Not Work

[madison1101]

I have been in and out of Alcoholics Anonymous for over 20 years now, more in than out. I held a lot of arrogance, and resistance to the program, because of what I saw and heard in the AA meetings. Cursing, profane gutteral stuff, furniture being suggested as a Higher Power, beliefs that were totally contrary to my devout belief in Jesus. I hated the meetings and hated the people in general, because they used God's name in vain, over and over.

But, every time I tried to separate myself from AA, I relapsed and drank. Not once, not twice, but every single time. In my last relapse period, I have learned the horrific reality of the progression of the disease of alcoholism. It was not pretty.

It took going to rehab, and seeing young men and women on staff, who cursed with the best of them, having more sobriety than me, to humble me and get me to cling to the AA program with everything I have. MY WAY DID NOT WORK IN KEEPING ME SOBER.

I learned that those profane alcoholics who did not necessarily claim Jesus as their Higher Power had something I did not have....SOBRIETY. They were sober, and I was still struggling with relapse. I knew nothing about getting and staying sober and I also learned that my arrogance was keeping me drinking.

If someone finds AA distasteful, keep going to different meetings. They have something you don't if you are still drinking. They found a way to get sober. Your way is not working if you are still drinking.

 

[Steffenfield]

Thank you for sharing.

I did find Celebrate Recovery which is church driven. I haven't attended a meeting with them since the first night was orientation.

Only problem is that it's held weekly, not daily which is what I probably need.

But I agree, my way isn't working since I still find myself going out at night and it all needs to stop.

 

[madison1101]

Thank you for sharing.

I did find Celebrate Recovery which is church driven. I haven't attended a meeting with them since the first night was orientation.

Only problem is that it's held weekly, not daily which is what I probably need.

But I agree, my way isn't working since I still find myself going out at night and it all needs to stop.

You can do both...it's not all or nothing. There are AA meetings that request no profanity when sharing. Most areas have AA meetings available daily. I have never been to Celebrate Recovery, because my AA program is working now, and I am fine with the cursing, since I worked in a psychiatric hospital and my patients were usually cursing, both psychotic and stable. It rarely bothers me when I hear it. These are people who need Jesus and would benefit from meeting people who love Him, so I go to show His love to the not-so-desirable people in the meetings.

 

[madison1101]

Thank you for sharing.

I did find Celebrate Recovery which is church driven. I haven't attended a meeting with them since the first night was orientation.

Only problem is that it's held weekly, not daily which is what I probably need.

But I agree, my way isn't working since I still find myself going out at night and it all needs to stop.

You may also need rehab for detoxification. It is very dangerous to detox from alcohol without medical supervision, as it can be fatal.

Check into rehabs, or call your insurance for a referral, or go to your doctor for a referral to one.

I needed rehab, after 20 years in AA.

 

[Steffenfield]

I'm a nurse so I know what kind of health issues to look out for.

I'll do the 90 meetings in 90 days like most have suggested.

I think I'm ready to face this now.

 

[madison1101]

I'm a nurse so I know what kind of health issues to look out for.

I'll do the 90 meetings in 90 days like most have suggested.

I think I'm ready to face this now.

It's good that you are a nurse, but many of us have done the denial so well, we don't believe we are that bad. I am a Licensed Social Worker, trained in psychotherapy, with experience in rehabs, prior to my relapses. My education did not keep me sober, or get me sober.

 

[madison1101]

I'm a nurse so I know what kind of health issues to look out for.

I'll do the 90 meetings in 90 days like most have suggested.

I think I'm ready to face this now.

I am also beginning a 90 meetings in 90 days as well. Coming up on six months, I want to enhance my recovery, as I have been loopy lately. More meetings will make that loopiness go away, and bring me some recovery in my thinking as well as sobriety.

Good luck. Keep posting.

Trish