My Two Dads

[underpressure]

No, I haven't got two dads, but that was the name of a sitcom that lasted 3 seasons, from 1987-1990.

The two dads weren't homosexual, they were straight, but they were awarded custody of a young girl. Synopsis here My Two Dads - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

It was only a TV show, but I'd be surprised if anyone watched it and was recoiling in horror at the thought of two people of the same sex parenting a child. I'm guessing some people here must have watched it. I certainly don't remember any outrage about the show at the time (although I was young), and people aren't often shy about expressing their grievances with television.

I thought it was interesting, that people are maybe not that concerned about two people of the same sex being parents, but just two homosexuals being parents. I'm pretty sure the reaction to the show would have been much different, especially in those days, if the parents were gay.

If this situation happened in real life (play along here), do you think the girl would have been better off being raised by both guys, or would the child be better off being raised by just the one guy, or maybe even put into a children's home while they wait for a 'traditional' family (which might not ever happen)? (Since the two guys are single, the girl being raised by one of the guys and a female is not really an option)

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Yes, the issue is that the two parents raising the child are gay. But it even goes deeper than that. Apparently, only gay people raise gay children.

I'll be blunt, I'm not for the lifestyle, but I view it as I would any type of sinful lifestyle. I have two friends who are heterosexual, living together and not married. They have two kids. I kinda feel bad for the kids because they're not being taught to respect the vow of marriage. Do I think the parents are bad parents? Not necessarily, but for claiming to be Christian they aren't taking the Christian path of marriage and then children. But I don't think they're bad parents solely because they're not married. They actually love their children very much and would gladly give up their lives for them.

I feel the same way about same sex partners having kids. I may not agree with their lifestyle, but if they're adopting (or having via surrogate) children and they can love them and give them a stable home, then that's great.

There's a lot of crappy heterosexual two parent households out there. Bad parenting is not limited by sexual orientation.

 

[keith99]

How about 'Little Miss Marker'? That goes back to at least 1934. No outrage and being raised by men, and hoods at that should have generated something. At least if Men raising children (a cute little girl at that).

Hmm thinking about it in this case shouldn't any rage be because of very not gay desires?

 

[Beanieboy]

No, I haven't got two dads, but that was the name of a sitcom that lasted 3 seasons, from 1987-1990.

The two dads weren't homosexual, they were straight, but they were awarded custody of a young girl. Synopsis here My Two Dads - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

It was only a TV show, but I'd be surprised if anyone watched it and was recoiling in horror at the thought of two people of the same sex parenting a child. I'm guessing some people here must have watched it. I certainly don't remember any outrage about the show at the time (although I was young), and people aren't often shy about expressing their grievances with television.

I thought it was interesting, that people are maybe not that concerned about two people of the same sex being parents, but just two homosexuals being parents. I'm pretty sure the reaction to the show would have been much different, especially in those days, if the parents were gay.

If this situation happened in real life (play along here), do you think the girl would have been better off being raised by both guys, or would the child be better off being raised by just the one guy, or maybe even put into a children's home while they wait for a 'traditional' family (which might not ever happen)? (Since the two guys are single, the girl being raised by one of the guys and a female is not really an option)

Seeing that she is a girl, I can't imagine the two men living in a vacuum where there are no women in the girl's life. They would have their female friends, female neighbors, female teachers, anyone the straight men would date, sisters, their mothers, etc. The girl would certainly have women to relate to. I certainly wouldn't want to have to put my daughter through the torture of talking to me about menstruation.

I can't see how having two dads, even two straight dads, would in any way be bad, if both fathers were very loving and nurturing. It would be easier on both of the fathers. Female figures could give her the female role models and relationships that she needs.

A friend of mine lived in San Francisco. She and her husband worked in a shelter, and ended up adopting a baby that was abandoned at the shelter. She said that in San Francisco, their were many different arrangements. She knew one family where there were two men and two women, each partnered, who decided to raise children together by buying houses next to each other, and sharing the parenting. To the children, this seemed normal because it was normal for them.

It seems to be those who are from "normal" families that are bothered by it the most, cause the most verbal and physical abuse, because someone dares challenge the idea of "normalcy" and is enough of a threat to lash out in fear and anger at someone who has done nothing to them except exist.

 

[Beanieboy]

Yes, the issue is that the two parents raising the child are gay. But it even goes deeper than that. Apparently, only gay people raise gay children.

Are you being facetious?

I'm gay, and had straight parents. Every gay friend I have ever known had gay parents, every former boyfriend as well.

One of the possibilities my partner has suggested is adopting a child who is at risk - such as, a gay child that comes out to his parents, is disowned, kicked out of his house, and left to fend for himself.

I don't know how any parent could ever do that, but it happens more often than you would imagine, and neither of us would be "turning the kid gay." He already claims to be gay. We would simply be putting a roof over his head, and protecting him from adults that would probably prey on him, due to his parents' lack of parenting skills.

 

[BigBadWlf]

Yes, the issue is that the two parents raising the child are gay. But it even goes deeper than that. Apparently, only gay people raise gay children.

I'll be blunt, I'm not for the lifestyle, but I view it as I would any type of sinful lifestyle.

What “lifestyle”?
Raising a child? Paying taxes? Keeping a home? Going to work? Doing yard work?

What exactly are you objecting to?

I have two friends who are heterosexual, living together and not married. They have two kids. I kinda feel bad for the kids because they're not being taught to respect the vow of marriage.

Who says they are being taught that? Just because they don’t have a piece of paper that YOU think they should have does not mean they are teaching their children to disrespect marriage

 

[PreachersWife2004]

BigBadWlf, did you even really read my post?

 

[BigBadWlf]

BigBadWlf, did you even really read my post?

Sure did…and it left me wondering:

What “lifestyle”?
Raising a child? Paying taxes? Keeping a home? Going to work? Doing yard work?

What exactly are you objecting to?

AND


Who says they are being taught that? Just because they don’t have a piece of paper that YOU think they should have does not mean they are teaching their children to disrespect marriage

 

[PreachersWife2004]

BigBadWlf, then you didn't really read my post. When you've actually read it rather than just getting stuck on my first sentence, let me know.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

That's the logic being thrown around in the homosexual adoption thread, anyway. Apparently it's bad for homosexuals to adopt because they'll tell their kids it's okay to be gay and then those kids will grow up gay, whereas apparently no straight parents would ever teach their kids that being gay is okay. So, um, yeah, facetious and sarcastic FTW.

As I pointed out, I may disagree with the "lifestyle", but I see nothing wrong with loving people raising children.

Are you being facetious?

I'm gay, and had straight parents. Every gay friend I have ever known had gay parents, every former boyfriend as well.

One of the possibilities my partner has suggested is adopting a child who is at risk - such as, a gay child that comes out to his parents, is disowned, kicked out of his house, and left to fend for himself.

I don't know how any parent could ever do that, but it happens more often than you would imagine, and neither of us would be "turning the kid gay." He already claims to be gay. We would simply be putting a roof over his head, and protecting him from adults that would probably prey on him, due to his parents' lack of parenting skills.

 

[nolongerhome]

What is the "lifestyle"?

 

[PreachersWife2004]

What is the "lifestyle"?

a sinful one.

 

[nolongerhome]

a sinful one.

According to your religion all of our "lifestyles" are sinful ones, so that doesn't really help me out very much.

Is it anything more than that the two men or two women involved have sex with each other?

 

[PreachersWife2004]

According to your religion all of our "lifestyles" are sinful ones, so that doesn't really help me out very much.

Is it anything more than that the two men or two women involved have sex with each other?

It's living in unrepentant sin, and it's not limited to homosexuality.

But it's not the main thrust of my post. It's telling the way people are clinging to that and ignoring the rest.

 

[nolongerhome]

It's living in unrepentant sin, and it's not limited to homosexuality.

But it's not the main thrust of my post. It's telling the way people are clinging to that and ignoring the rest.

Well, I'm ignoring the rest because I have no problem with you accepting two loving parents for children, be they married or not, straight or gay, as being better than two unloving parents and not necessarily worse than two straight married parents, so there isn't much to be said there

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Well, I'm ignoring the rest because I have no problem with you accepting two loving parents for children, be they married or not, straight or gay, as being better than two unloving parents and not necessarily worse than two straight married parents, so there isn't much to be said there

so why focus on whether I agree with the lifestyle or not? I put that there as a measure of full disclosure, not to start a war on whether it's a sin or not. I happen to believe that it is, but it doesn't mean I'm running out and telling the government what to do about it.

 

[OllieFranz]

so why focus on whether I agree with the lifestyle or not?

The problem is that while there apparently is something about gays that you consider sinful (and we can guess what that is), it is not a "lifestyle." There is no such thing as a "gay lifestyle."

There is nothing about the way an average gay person conducts himselves during the majority of his time that is substantially different from how an average straight person conducts himself. Neither is there any individual activity that every gay person involves himself in nor any individual activity that only gays, and no straights, are involved with.

I mean ten year old boys have been known to pick their noses on occasion, and many pick them quite often. Does that mean that there is a "ten-year-old-boy lifestyle" that includes -- indeed that focuses on -- nose-picking? And if there is does that mean that no one else ever picks his nose? Or that there are no ten year old boys who do not pick thier noses?

 

[nolongerhome]

so why focus on whether I agree with the lifestyle or not? I put that there as a measure of full disclosure, not to start a war on whether it's a sin or not. I happen to believe that it is, but it doesn't mean I'm running out and telling the government what to do about it.

OllieFranz answered that quite well.

You don't like the "lifestyle" but there is no "lifestyle" as far as I can see, which is why I asked what you meant by it and why I wasn't satisfied with your response.

 

[Archer93]

Yes, the issue is that the two parents raising the child are gay. But it even goes deeper than that. Apparently, only gay people raise gay children.

I'll be blunt, I'm not for the lifestyle, but I view it as I would any type of sinful lifestyle. I have two friends who are heterosexual, living together and not married. They have two kids. I kinda feel bad for the kids because they're not being taught to respect the vow of marriage. Do I think the parents are bad parents? Not necessarily, but for claiming to be Christian they aren't taking the Christian path of marriage and then children. But I don't think they're bad parents solely because they're not married. They actually love their children very much and would gladly give up their lives for them.

I feel the same way about same sex partners having kids. I may not agree with their lifestyle, but if they're adopting (or having via surrogate) children and they can love them and give them a stable home, then that's great.

There's a lot of crappy heterosexual two parent households out there. Bad parenting is not limited by sexual orientation.

I'm agreeing with a lot of this. And I get your sarcasm in the first paragraph!

But I'm not getting what you mean by 'lifestyle'. Parenting is a lifestyle, certainly, one that involves a lot of sacrifice of personal time for the child's welfare, but having a same-sex partner is no more a lifestyle than having an opposite-sex partner is.

Having a lot of sexual partners is a lifestyle, but one that applies to both gay and straight people. And those aren't the people who have children- looking after kids and going out on the pull are mutually exclusive activities- or at least should be, and I would disapprove of anyone, gay or straight, who disregarded their child's needs in favour of getting laid.
Oh dear, I'm getting moralistic in my old age...

Rampant self-indulgance is bad parenting. And yes, that's not limited to one sexual orientation. Neither is committing oneself to the needs of a child, which is good parenting.

I remember the sitcom in the OP. Very funny. One of my all-time favourites.
Does anyone remember 'Three men and a baby'? Three straight single men dealing with a baby. The mother turned up at the end, but the three men were committed to looking after the kid. It ended up with all four of them looking after junior. My mother's comment was "That seems like a decent ratio of adults to children". The more care-givers the better, given how much hassle babies are, especially ones that don't sleep through the night.
And pre-Industrial Revolution, all families were extended ones, with an army of adults to look after hordes of children. 'It takes a village to raise a child'.
Lots of role models of both sexes. Sounds great to me....

 

[Wiccan_Child]

Could it simply be that 'lifestyle' is a poor choice of words? We've all heard it used before, mostly by anti-gay people, and we all know what it means. Obviously, there is no 'gay lifestyle', but that doesn't mean we're ignorant of what is not-so-subtly implied by the phrase.