i live in a christian home; in fact, my dad is a pastor.so you might think that that would mean that i've always been a believer. but that's definitely not the case. i first accepted christ into my heart when i was 4, but sometimes i wonder if i really knew what that meant. as i got older and learned more about what it means to be a christian, i realized that my life left a lot to be desired. i never read the bible, i never prayed on my own, and i only went to church because my parents made me. i didn't care, though, because people at my school had slowly made me come to the conclusion that church was lame and boring and didn't have anything to do with real life. so, i drifted farther and farther away from god and over the next few years i got into some really bad sinful habits. these habits pretty much drained the life out of me and cast my life into a period of extreme darkness.
in grade 8, i started to have VERY scary nightmares about hell. these nightmares had me constantly on the edge of completely breaking down and sometimes i even thought of committing suicide to get away from them. i didn't, though, because i didn't want my family to go through that. so, my life continued and got steadily worse for about a year and a half. then, one day i realized how far i'd fallen from god and i wanted to go back to him. i didn't know how, though. so i struggled with that until i went to the good friday service at my church. it was during the time when we were reading about the crucifixion that i just broke down and started crying in public. it came to me that all i had to do was rely on Jesus to bring me back to god, and i put my trust in him again right then and there. ever since then, i've been striving to maintain that relationship with Christ, and let me tell you, i've NEVER regretted that decision.
it seems as if i've posted this twice somehow...
in grade 8, i started to have VERY scary nightmares about hell. these nightmares had me constantly on the edge of completely breaking down and sometimes i even thought of committing suicide to get away from them. i didn't, though, because i didn't want my family to go through that. so, my life continued and got steadily worse for about a year and a half. then, one day i realized how far i'd fallen from god and i wanted to go back to him. i didn't know how, though. so i struggled with that until i went to the good friday service at my church. it was during the time when we were reading about the crucifixion that i just broke down and started crying in public. it came to me that all i had to do was rely on Jesus to bring me back to god, and i put my trust in him again right then and there. ever since then, i've been striving to maintain that relationship with Christ, and let me tell you, i've NEVER regretted that decision.
it seems as if i've posted this twice somehow...
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May God bestow many blessings on you
