- Dec 5, 2010
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I was born in Vancouver, Washington, USA, and was adopted at birth. I have never known my real parents, and all I know is that it was the Catholics who told my mom not to abort me.
At three, I moved across the country to Speculator, New York, USA. There, I grew up. When I lived there, there was about five hundred "regulars", and only a handful of kids my age. Literally a handful. There was about ten of us. The town had a resort in it(random place for one), called Camp of the Woods(fitting name, really). I lived as any child would want to live. I literally lived like the Suite Life of Zach and Cody(or whatever its called). I had chocolate milk at my disposal, paths to ride my bike no one else could, a whole camp in the winter to ride my dirtbike, et cetera. There were three kids there who I felt were my brothers that I never had. We were inseparable. We were all homeschooled, so during the winter, we would usually just school together until noon, and then go to the local ski hill or just goof off. I loved it and my life was perfect. Not a care in the world.
Then God decided to completely flip my life upside-down. We moved to Oregon(over 3000 miles away). I was mad at God to say the least. I had grown up Christian, but I flat out rejected Him after the move. It was about that time that I really started to think. my biological dad didn't care about me, my mother wanted to kill me in her womb, my adoptive dad didn't care about my life, and my "Heavenly Father" apparently could care less about me or made me to laugh at. Either way, I wasn't going to acknowledge Him! He had allowed my life to be ruined. I was taken from deep, beautiful forests of color and magic(to a kid), and sent to dismal Oregon filled with green, orange, or dead brown. Yay. The only consolation was the mountains, but I didn't care. I had been taken from my family. God ripped me from both my biological family, and the family I found in New York. I hated him with a thriving passion. This led me down some wrong paths, and I turned to pornography(something I still struggle with), and homosexuality. I lost my virginity at 13 to a boy my age. And we both went to church, but neither of us believed in "God" or anything.
At age fifteen, I finally realized why God had sent me through my personal hell. I got to help start a church, which opened my life to music. Music is now one of the most important things in my life. I also got to attend a Christian school with an academic program that I can only describe as a "High School Yale". Here, I found a love for math and science.
But most importantly, I went to a Christian conference called Generation Unleashed in Portland, Oregon. I went there still hating God, but acknowledging His existence(the school had helped that). I still didn't have faith that He loved me or wanted me. I still felt that He hated me and laughed at me. There, I had my first encounter with Christ. It was so much, that i had to sit down and stare blankly. Thoughts and doubts were completely erased. i tried to fight it, thinking it was just placebo or God giving me false hope, but no matter what I tried, the feeling lasted. I couldn't even move.
After the conference, I joined an outreach team in my school called Hands for God, and there I gained my passion for youth ministry. I got to share the gospel with a bunch of people and make a difference that I have seen. I have seen miracles happen, further strengthening my faith. Some of them include: healing of lupis(doctor confirmed), clouds circling around us to prevent rain on a carnival(and it was raining hard about a quarter-mile away), other healings, and my personal healings(asthma, bad knee, and allergies). These are just the few I can remember.
So what to make of all this? Keep searching. God will find you if you don't find Him. Just keep your mind open, and your heart. Don't be an idiot like me and be forced to sit in a chair to finally come to grips with the knowledge that God loves you. Because He does. He has a plan for you. He wants to give you a road for your life, one filled with joy. I can finally say I have joy. Even though my life has been full of rejection since -9 months, I can still say I'm happy because God loved me enough to save me.
At three, I moved across the country to Speculator, New York, USA. There, I grew up. When I lived there, there was about five hundred "regulars", and only a handful of kids my age. Literally a handful. There was about ten of us. The town had a resort in it(random place for one), called Camp of the Woods(fitting name, really). I lived as any child would want to live. I literally lived like the Suite Life of Zach and Cody(or whatever its called). I had chocolate milk at my disposal, paths to ride my bike no one else could, a whole camp in the winter to ride my dirtbike, et cetera. There were three kids there who I felt were my brothers that I never had. We were inseparable. We were all homeschooled, so during the winter, we would usually just school together until noon, and then go to the local ski hill or just goof off. I loved it and my life was perfect. Not a care in the world.
Then God decided to completely flip my life upside-down. We moved to Oregon(over 3000 miles away). I was mad at God to say the least. I had grown up Christian, but I flat out rejected Him after the move. It was about that time that I really started to think. my biological dad didn't care about me, my mother wanted to kill me in her womb, my adoptive dad didn't care about my life, and my "Heavenly Father" apparently could care less about me or made me to laugh at. Either way, I wasn't going to acknowledge Him! He had allowed my life to be ruined. I was taken from deep, beautiful forests of color and magic(to a kid), and sent to dismal Oregon filled with green, orange, or dead brown. Yay. The only consolation was the mountains, but I didn't care. I had been taken from my family. God ripped me from both my biological family, and the family I found in New York. I hated him with a thriving passion. This led me down some wrong paths, and I turned to pornography(something I still struggle with), and homosexuality. I lost my virginity at 13 to a boy my age. And we both went to church, but neither of us believed in "God" or anything.
At age fifteen, I finally realized why God had sent me through my personal hell. I got to help start a church, which opened my life to music. Music is now one of the most important things in my life. I also got to attend a Christian school with an academic program that I can only describe as a "High School Yale". Here, I found a love for math and science.
But most importantly, I went to a Christian conference called Generation Unleashed in Portland, Oregon. I went there still hating God, but acknowledging His existence(the school had helped that). I still didn't have faith that He loved me or wanted me. I still felt that He hated me and laughed at me. There, I had my first encounter with Christ. It was so much, that i had to sit down and stare blankly. Thoughts and doubts were completely erased. i tried to fight it, thinking it was just placebo or God giving me false hope, but no matter what I tried, the feeling lasted. I couldn't even move.
After the conference, I joined an outreach team in my school called Hands for God, and there I gained my passion for youth ministry. I got to share the gospel with a bunch of people and make a difference that I have seen. I have seen miracles happen, further strengthening my faith. Some of them include: healing of lupis(doctor confirmed), clouds circling around us to prevent rain on a carnival(and it was raining hard about a quarter-mile away), other healings, and my personal healings(asthma, bad knee, and allergies). These are just the few I can remember.
So what to make of all this? Keep searching. God will find you if you don't find Him. Just keep your mind open, and your heart. Don't be an idiot like me and be forced to sit in a chair to finally come to grips with the knowledge that God loves you. Because He does. He has a plan for you. He wants to give you a road for your life, one filled with joy. I can finally say I have joy. Even though my life has been full of rejection since -9 months, I can still say I'm happy because God loved me enough to save me.
