Kat, First your son and his father's relationship is not your responsibility. its possible your whole family pattern has boundary issues if you have an over developed sense of responsibility. I understand your frustration and desire to help. you can help them by encouraging them to take responsibility for the broken relationship and to talk directly to one another. your son's anger should be listened to and his feelings validated and encourage him to express his anger directly and both parents should listen and encourage him to talk openly about his anger.....this is safe relationship when children's emotions are not "wrong" or suppressed but brought into the light of truth and grace. "Do not let the sun go down on your anger or you give the devil a foothold". through neglecting free expression of anger satan may have setup a stronghold in relationships. Anger is a secondary emotion, something more vulnerable it usually protects, hurt, sadness, fears, loss, grief. by talking freely and encouraging safe discussion anger loses its defense/attack/protective posture and more vulnerable feelings can surface where healing and forgiveness can begin. It's possible your husband may have deeply hurt your son in ways neither of your know or understand. the only way to heal it is to build safety and trust and open dialog between the people where the issues exist.......if you have been triangulating and mediating between them this is an inapropriate and unhealthy dynamic possibly. you may need a trained counselor to help identify family patters if "triangulation" exists. As you identify patterns and begin to change it will get very difficult as everyone in the family may be used to unhealthy patterns..so you will need support and understanding from outside the family. Be especially sensitive to not blaming one another but listening caring and making an individual feel heard by not reacting and reflecting statements let the person know their anger is heard and validated, even if you dont agree with their experience or see it the same way. If people feel heard and accepted then its easier to talk about "wrongs" commited without condemnation . safety trust and listening and open dialog with direct communication should always be encouraged. Also people will be judged the way they judge so encourage everyone involved to take an honest look at their own faults before dealing with someone elses faults. "First take the log out of your own eye before you take the speck out of your brother's eye" psychological projection happens when we see our faults on someone else.....so everyone should begin owning their problems and weaknesses before beginning to communicate problems with someone else. a good counselor again may be needed, someone outside the family that is unbiased and lovingly truthful. If the father is not a safe person and willing to change and work on himself or admit his faults I highly recommend your son get a male counselor to talk to on a regular basis as he will need an unbiased male mentor/counselor to help him work through some of the problems if his father is unwilling, unchanging or unsafe. I wanna make sure im not saying or suggesting its anyone fault.......this is not about placeing blame creating an environment for truth and grace and light to come into relationships. the parents have the greater responsibility in any relationship to model the changes they want to see in their children. if your son has trouble forgiving then the parents should model asking for forgiveness and forgiving others infront of the son...demonstrating humilty and being"peacemakers".