If any of you remember that the last time I was here, I was struggling with becoming a Christian and with everything related to my grandmother's death. Now I have a worse problem.
It all started on my seventeenth birthday (March 18th). My family was going to go out to dinner to celebrate, but my dad wasn't home when I got home from school, so my mom let me go to a friend's house for a while. I called my mom around 7:30 to ask if/when we were going to go out, and she said she'd pick me up at 8:30 because that's when my dad would be home. She picked me up on time, and we went home. My dad didn't get home for another hour. I decided that it would be too late to go out to eat because it would be 10 by the time we got to the restaurant, and I had to get up at 5:30 the next morning, so I thought it would be best if we waited a day. No one in my family had eaten anything since lunch, thinking that we were going out, and there wasn't any other option if we wanted dinner. I told my dad that I'd rather not go, and this made him really angry. I went to take a shower, and the whole time I could hear my parents yelling really loud. My dad started including other problems in the argument, and he made it sound like it was my fault that we couldn't go out because I was at my friend's house, but he was the one that was an hour late. The fighting got really bad, and I was getting scared. Then my dad left. My dad is an alcoholic, so he's out drinking. He's come home twice, but he's never said a word to my mom, my sister, or I since the incident. He spends all day drinking (and driving!) My mom has one part time job, which can't pay for everything for our family. Today we had to search for change to bring to the bank because we were completely out of money. I applied for a job at Applebee's, but I have no idea if I'll get it. Anyway, we have no money, and everyone's worried. My mom can't act normal, and she's so worried that she's sick. Other than the fact that we have no idea where he is or if anything's happened to him, the worst part is that we can't really tell anyone. I have told one friend that I trust, but I can't tell anyone else, and neither can my mom or sister. We live in a small community, and if you tell the wrong person, everyone will know what's going on in a few minutes, and of course people judge and all that. I have to pretend everything's fine around my friends, although being with my friends is my only fun time. My time spent at home is just miserable. The last time this happened (five years ago), he was drinking for five months before going to a treatment center, and he was there for about five months before coming home. I can only hope that it won't be that long again because now I actually have to face people and it's a lot different than when I was 12. A lot of time when I was in elementary school was like this...it seemed like I practically grew up in rehabilitation centers. On top of it all, my dad has mental problems, and he's off of his medication when he's drinking, so he's practically insane along with being drunk. I don't know what to do, but there's not really anything I can do. My mom doesn't want people knowing, but I just shared with a whole community...I really had to tell someone, though. Thanks to anyone who reads this.
It all started on my seventeenth birthday (March 18th). My family was going to go out to dinner to celebrate, but my dad wasn't home when I got home from school, so my mom let me go to a friend's house for a while. I called my mom around 7:30 to ask if/when we were going to go out, and she said she'd pick me up at 8:30 because that's when my dad would be home. She picked me up on time, and we went home. My dad didn't get home for another hour. I decided that it would be too late to go out to eat because it would be 10 by the time we got to the restaurant, and I had to get up at 5:30 the next morning, so I thought it would be best if we waited a day. No one in my family had eaten anything since lunch, thinking that we were going out, and there wasn't any other option if we wanted dinner. I told my dad that I'd rather not go, and this made him really angry. I went to take a shower, and the whole time I could hear my parents yelling really loud. My dad started including other problems in the argument, and he made it sound like it was my fault that we couldn't go out because I was at my friend's house, but he was the one that was an hour late. The fighting got really bad, and I was getting scared. Then my dad left. My dad is an alcoholic, so he's out drinking. He's come home twice, but he's never said a word to my mom, my sister, or I since the incident. He spends all day drinking (and driving!) My mom has one part time job, which can't pay for everything for our family. Today we had to search for change to bring to the bank because we were completely out of money. I applied for a job at Applebee's, but I have no idea if I'll get it. Anyway, we have no money, and everyone's worried. My mom can't act normal, and she's so worried that she's sick. Other than the fact that we have no idea where he is or if anything's happened to him, the worst part is that we can't really tell anyone. I have told one friend that I trust, but I can't tell anyone else, and neither can my mom or sister. We live in a small community, and if you tell the wrong person, everyone will know what's going on in a few minutes, and of course people judge and all that. I have to pretend everything's fine around my friends, although being with my friends is my only fun time. My time spent at home is just miserable. The last time this happened (five years ago), he was drinking for five months before going to a treatment center, and he was there for about five months before coming home. I can only hope that it won't be that long again because now I actually have to face people and it's a lot different than when I was 12. A lot of time when I was in elementary school was like this...it seemed like I practically grew up in rehabilitation centers. On top of it all, my dad has mental problems, and he's off of his medication when he's drinking, so he's practically insane along with being drunk. I don't know what to do, but there's not really anything I can do. My mom doesn't want people knowing, but I just shared with a whole community...I really had to tell someone, though. Thanks to anyone who reads this.