My Story

[Shown Much Mercy]

Hello everyone,
I came to CF a while ago (under a different screename at first) and have made many post on marriage. I thank all the people who have prayed and gave great advice. Unfortunately, I was deceived by my wife and she has been unfaithful all along. I discovered an affair that has been going on for a couple of years. I now know why I had so many questions, hurts, etc..... I thank everyone who took the time to give advice which I now see did not really ever apply. My wife has lied for so long and hurt others in the process. We are both active in the Ministry and that is what made me continue to believe the best.
I do not blame God at all. I do plan on leaving now since we have already been through this before. The Church helped us with counseling and accountability. I had forgiven and she was delivered from many issues years ago. She eventually chose to start a new affair (with a Christian) man but continue to act as happily married to me and everyone else. I have other issues now to resolve (paternity) now since this has gone on for so long. I cannot begin to express how this feels now. I had a hard time holding my child yesterday who may not really be mine now. I love her and could not ignore her calls for Daddy yesterday. If anyone reading this is thinking about having an affair, please seek God and some prayer. You have no idea of the impact that this will have on your life and others. My wife has hurt many people through this. The impact and consequences now are more than she can handle. When the devil gets done with you, he leaves you in a much worse state than you thought you were in before.
Thanks everyone for your prayers again and advice over the years. I will be fine and make it through this. I was willing after the last affair to reconcile and continue. I watched her grow spiritually and thought that her success and progress was genuine. I do not know how I could ever trust anyone like that again. I do plan to divorce now and will be posting here more. I know that I have that option. I cannot go through this again. Blessings..............SMM

 

[4EverBlessed]

I am praying for you! It seems that you have done all that you can do and now it's time for you to move on. Your wife has a problem that only Jesus can solve. She has proven time and again that she can't be trusted and is far from being a godly woman.

Are you getting counseling from your Pastor? That is definitely something to look into before you deploy.

 

[Mobiosity]

Please keep that child as yours whether of your blood or not. You can't imagine the pain and devistation losing you as daddy as well as the divorce will cause that innocent. Please continue to love that child as your own child, continue to. Please. The rewards to you will be immeasurable as well as the agony to that precious baby girl if you don't.

Mobi

 

[Shown Much Mercy]

Thanks, but I have not decided yet what I will do concerning the worst. I am the only Father that she knows. I am closer to her than my other children simply because of the age differences. I love them all equally of course but the relationship with the youngest is a bit different. She runs to Daddy fir so much that my wife would get jealous, lol. She would ask what did I do to ther baby to make her cling to Dad so much? I do love her but I cannot say that since I am going to pursue a divorce that I intend to take on the financial role also for another man. I just dont know. I really wish the alarm would go off and this was a bad dream. Thanks

 

[dayknee]

Thanks, but I have not decided yet what I will do concerning the worst. I am the only Father that she knows. I am closer to her than my other children simply because of the age differences. I love them all equally of course but the relationship with the youngest is a bit different. She runs to Daddy fir so much that my wife would get jealous, lol. She would ask what did I do to ther baby to make her cling to Dad so much? I do love her but I cannot say that since I am going to pursue a divorce that I intend to take on the financial role also for another man. I just dont know. I really wish the alarm would go off and this was a bad dream. Thanks

Show Much Mercy
Im thinking about you and praying for you during this difficult time..
I would just like to encourage you to continue to be the father that this child knows..love, guide and support her. I know you are upset and how much all of this hurts you..Please find it in your heart to continue...Our Father loves us and even in our troubles he wouldnt leave us, he continues to support us and guide us and love us..You will reap all the benefits from this..this is one thing i can promise you..Your a good man..I know you'll seek out the Lord before you make a choice..I will continue to pray for you..and remember you can pm me anytime..<hugs>

 

[Shown Much Mercy]

Show Much Mercy
Im thinking about you and praying for you during this difficult time..
I would just like to encourage you to continue to be the father that this child knows..love, guide and support her. I know you are upset and how much all of this hurts you..Please find it in your heart to continue...Our Father loves us and even in our troubles he wouldnt leave us, he continues to support us and guide us and love us..You will reap all the benefits from this..this is one thing i can promise you..Your a good man..I know you'll seek out the Lord before you make a choice..I will continue to pray for you..and remember you can pm me anytime..<hugs>

Thanks Dayknee. I decided last night that I would be there for her despite the results. You see, the other person involved already made it known that he does not want anything to do with my daughter if the results show that I am not the father. I am not going to punish her and leave her fatherless because of my wifes choices. I am the one that took her before the Church and dedicated her to the Lord when she was first born. I promised God that I would raise her up in the Lord and do what was right. In the event of the worst, I know that God knew at the very moment (when she was dedicated) what was going on. I will still be her father regardless of the results. If she decides when she is older that she wants to pursue other courses then that will be her decision when she is of age. I know all of this is hypothetical right now but I had to make a choice before hand for me. Thanks for your prayers Dayknee...........You are a mighty woman of God and I hope that your situation works out soon also. SMM

 

[dayknee]

Thanks Dayknee. I decided last night that I would be there for her despite the results. You see, the other person involved already made it known that he does not want anything to do with my daughter if the results show that I am not the father. I am not going to punish her and leave her fatherless because of my wifes choices. I am the one that took her before the Church and dedicated her to the Lord when she was first born. I promised God that I would raise her up in the Lord and do what was right. In the event of the worst, I know that God knew at the very moment (when she was dedicated) what was going on. I will still be her father regardless of the results. If she decides when she is older that she wants to pursue other courses then that will be her decision when she is of age. I know all of this is hypothetical right now but I had to make a choice before hand for me. Thanks for your prayers Dayknee...........You are a mighty woman of God and I hope that your situation works out soon also. SMM

SMM..I'm so happy to hear that you will continue to be the father in her life..What a blessing for you and her..
The Lord does answer prayers..specially mine sometimes..<smiles>
Your post will make me smile all day...Im thankful!
Your daughter, no matter what a test says, will always know that YOU are her father and that means more than any test..
I'll tell you I am rather dissapointed in my husband atm..Im really afraid that what he said last night he meant..He got upset becuase the kids didnt talk to him to much over hte phone last night..mostly becuase they were playing and talking to their friends and doing their own thing..Well, he got upset and yelled at my daughter saying things like "you dont have anything to say to your dad"
"oh so daddys not at home anymore and now you cant talk to him"
just things like that..so i called him on it and told him how upset his daughter is and he said hes sick of her crying for no reason and that maybe its best he only call a couple times a week to talk to them..that shocks me and I almost wanted to vomit over it..please pray that he isnt serious..as this would deeply deeply hurt them and me..

 

[Ashyah]

I pray that God brings you through this.
I can imagine how much this must hurt.
Love that child as your own if it turns out otherwise.God will heal.You know that it is hard right now but, he will bring you peace.
You are not alone.
I have a husband that just told me that he didn't love me. I have suffered much but, it is getting better. Thanks to God for if it wasn't for the time I spend with him I would have really been depressed to the point of being disabled.
God bless you and keep you.

 

[ecuison]

I know your pain and you are in my prayers. You are a man of God and hold on to that. I have to keep reminding myself of the same thing since it is a struggle but you have support.

God Bless,

-Ed