- Mar 15, 2007
- 261
- 90
- Faith
- Protestant
- Marital Status
- Single
I have read most of the comments in this sub-forum, and I thought I'd tell you about myself.
I was born into a Christian family. I went to Sunday School every Sunday from as far back as I can remember.
I was given my first proper Bible, an NIV when I was 8 years old and I read it from back to front more times than I can remember.
When I was 12 years old, I found out that you had to do the sinner's prayer to be saved, ask for forgiveness, and declare your allegiance to Christ. Obviously I knew I was a Christian before that, but I did it as a matter of precaution
.
From about that time, my relationship with God grew immensely. By the time it came to finish school, I was considering studying further as a minister. During my high school career, I assisted to run youth groups, holiday classes for children, did prayer walks and evangelized on the streets of my home town.
I looked forward to Sundays, so that I could spend time with other Christians praising, and rejoicing God. Every night of the week was spent either in Bible Study groups or in fellowship with Christian friends.
There was a problem though.
As far back as I can remember, I knew I was "different". I was attracted to guys. When puberty came, those feelings became very very strong. I knew about homosexuality, but it didn't apply to me of course. I was a Christian, it wasn't supposed to happen.
By my late childhood, my secret was ripping me apart. I'd pray and pray and pray for God to fix me, but nothing happened. I'd consciously push the feelings away, but they always came back. I spoke to my pastor, and he laid hands on me, and other people too. Nothing. I screamed and shouted at God "Why are you not fixing me?" more times than I remember.
My first 10 years of adulthood were very very lonely for me. I knew what I was, but I refused to admit it. It was just a phase I was going through. One day I'll find a woman I am attracted to, I kept telling myself. I considered suicide a couple of times. I fell into chronic depression a few times over the years.
You see, it didn't make sense.
I was not abused as a child, I had wonderful parents that did the utmost to care for me. I had never met a homosexual, at least not that I knew of. I was never exposed to porn. I grew up as a normal boy that played with cars and did boy things.
Last year, I decided enough is enough. The Bible says "Ask and ye shall receive". I've asked, believe you me. The only conclusion I can come to is that it is not God's Will to change me. Since then I have grown immensely as a person. I am happier, less stressed, and a lot more confident.
You know, I've read the verses that condemn homosexuality. I've read the arguments that counter that. I've done my research. But I don't want to argue that. I know in my heart that God is pleased with the way I am.
I was born into a Christian family. I went to Sunday School every Sunday from as far back as I can remember.
I was given my first proper Bible, an NIV when I was 8 years old and I read it from back to front more times than I can remember.
When I was 12 years old, I found out that you had to do the sinner's prayer to be saved, ask for forgiveness, and declare your allegiance to Christ. Obviously I knew I was a Christian before that, but I did it as a matter of precaution
.From about that time, my relationship with God grew immensely. By the time it came to finish school, I was considering studying further as a minister. During my high school career, I assisted to run youth groups, holiday classes for children, did prayer walks and evangelized on the streets of my home town.
I looked forward to Sundays, so that I could spend time with other Christians praising, and rejoicing God. Every night of the week was spent either in Bible Study groups or in fellowship with Christian friends.
There was a problem though.
As far back as I can remember, I knew I was "different". I was attracted to guys. When puberty came, those feelings became very very strong. I knew about homosexuality, but it didn't apply to me of course. I was a Christian, it wasn't supposed to happen.
By my late childhood, my secret was ripping me apart. I'd pray and pray and pray for God to fix me, but nothing happened. I'd consciously push the feelings away, but they always came back. I spoke to my pastor, and he laid hands on me, and other people too. Nothing. I screamed and shouted at God "Why are you not fixing me?" more times than I remember.
My first 10 years of adulthood were very very lonely for me. I knew what I was, but I refused to admit it. It was just a phase I was going through. One day I'll find a woman I am attracted to, I kept telling myself. I considered suicide a couple of times. I fell into chronic depression a few times over the years.
You see, it didn't make sense.
I was not abused as a child, I had wonderful parents that did the utmost to care for me. I had never met a homosexual, at least not that I knew of. I was never exposed to porn. I grew up as a normal boy that played with cars and did boy things.
Last year, I decided enough is enough. The Bible says "Ask and ye shall receive". I've asked, believe you me. The only conclusion I can come to is that it is not God's Will to change me. Since then I have grown immensely as a person. I am happier, less stressed, and a lot more confident.
You know, I've read the verses that condemn homosexuality. I've read the arguments that counter that. I've done my research. But I don't want to argue that. I know in my heart that God is pleased with the way I am.
