My story

[Eponine]

I've always considered myself a free thinker, especially with regards to religion. It all started when I was 7 or 8 and, seeking mainly to imitate other people I was hearing, told my family and friends I didn't believe in God. Then a friend introduced me to Wicca a couple years later. I still wasn't incredibly convinced that there was a God but the idea didn't seem as important to me. A year or so later I became at least nominally Christian because my parents forbid me to practice Wicca and I decided maybe Christianity wasn't so bad after all. At age 12 I became a born again Christian. A year later my brother died (he was 18 at the time, and I was 13.) I had always struggled occasionally with feeling drawn to Wicca more than Christianity, but I held myself back from that because I considered it from Satan. Where the death of my brother comes in is that for the first little while after he died I kept my faith in God. I had a pair of loving, Christian, adult mentors in my life to be tangible reminders that God is with me. Then after a year or so one moved away, the other got married. I haven't talked to the one who moved away in 2 years, and I talk to the other one only infrequently. In those two years of having nobody to talk to about my struggles (I have friends at school but they are not the greatest of listeners and I don't feel entirely comfortable opening up to them) I have gradually stopped believing that God cares much about anything that goes on down here. Horrified by the terrible depressions I've been sinking into in the past 2 years, I decided to start searching elsewhere for fulfillment. I've been investigating Wicca particularly since I've never been as strongly drawn to a faith as I was to Wicca, though I am also interested in Buddhism. But in the past week or two I've felt as if God has been drawing me back to Christianity. But I have a few theological issues that need ironing out, and above all I've never felt the sense of contentment, of "coming home" people speak when discussing why they believe as they do. Not in Christianity, Wicca, or anywhere else. I know this has more to do with my circumstances than anything else, but it seems a bit weird that I would still be so deeply hurt by my brother's death even almost three years later. I'd appreciate anyone willing to PM me and discuss the Bible or simply post some advice... thanks in advance.

Brightest blessings,
"Astra"

 

[£amb]

I am very sorry for the loss of your brother.


1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he care fore you.

 

[Annoula]

Death of a loved one is very difficult to handle honey...
and if u don't have friends willing to listen...it makes it more difficult...life is tough and specially in an early age like u r..

but please keep in mind...the world is full of people...and if there are not many of them that will listen...they are certainly people around us that are willing to listen to us with a true heart and give us a gentle hug...
try to have your eyes open for these people..they are some already around you...

i will be glad to talk to you even if it can only be done via the internet...

May God be with you always and may He gives you the Peace & Love you deserve...

 

[Seonta]

If you stay strong through your tirals you'll be rewarded in the end. Remember, take the narrow way.

And about wanting to feel like your coming home to God, you will literitly feel him when you are desperate for the living water.

 

[HoneyComb Son]

ya tindeo..I am willing to listen..i am a guy though..i believe you are a woman..if that matters then thats ok..but if you want..i have been through some trials in my life..i can share with you..if you want..God is so real and kind..i am willing to share with you somethings He has shown me...laters!

 

[Eponine]

ya tindeo..I am willing to listen..i am a guy though..i believe you are a woman..if that matters then thats ok..but if you want..i have been through some trials in my life..i can share with you..if you want..God is so real and kind..i am willing to share with you somethings He has shown me...laters!

Just so you know, HoneyComb Son, the fact that I didn't take you up on your offer to talk has nothing to do with your gender. I've been busy, and will be for the next several weeks.

On a different note, thanks for all your prayers. God has healed, or at least begun to heal, my broken heart and I am eternally grateful to Him and to all of you.

 

[ffman]

On a different note, thanks for all your prayers. God has healed, or at least begun to heal, my broken heart and I am eternally grateful to Him and to all of you.

It's good to hear that God has begun to heal you. I'll be praying for God to continue His work.

 

[bethdinsmore]

I too am so glad things are less painful. If you ever want to pm me, I would be happy to discuss Christian issues with you, my personal testimony, etc. I was an atheist, have been involved with the occult, am a Christian of 33 years, and lead support groups. If interested, you could learn more about me in "Personal Testimony" on my website listed on my profile page. I would love to chat with you. Aloha in Jesus.