My Story (Long)

[Christluver]

I've seen the worst of life, and life in the worst conditions, and been betrayed by almost everyone that I've trusted. My home life wasn't very good either when my Dad wasn't in the house, considering the fact that my mother had a really bad temper, which is probably where I picked mine up from. Imagine a crying child, shirtless, being whipped by his father's belt that's in his mother's hands, crying for daddy. That was me, on more than one occasion. I still may have scars from it, because I remember always taking bandages off of my back. She also lifted me off the ground by my throat once, choking me because I couldn't get a few words on a spelling quiz I was studying for in the first grade. When I went to take the test, I was too scared to lift the pencil. I was too scared to tell my dad too, but he found out later, because he put the pieces together. Of course, the divorce killed the trust I had for my father, so my entire high school years, I couldn't trust either parent. Not a good way for a troubled kid to be raised. I completely and totally gave up on my faith, and indulged myself in sins that I'm still reaping the aftershocks of. Binge drinking, smoking, and my personal "favorite", sex, became addictions for me. It's all I lived for, and I tried to end my life twice because I couldn't see a point to living anymore. The first time was in the bathroom of my old house, where I held a razor to my wrist, but my forearms started to twitch uncontrollably. I honestly don't remember anything after that, but I woke up in my bed the next morning, and screamed, "DAMMIT! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU KEEPING ME ALIVE YOU *******! LET ME DIE!" I swore that I would never give another soul to God that day forward, that I would never speak of Christians in a positive manner. Why should I? At that point, every friend of mine that was a Christian, or claimed to be, abandoned me when I most needed them. The only friend of mine that's stuck it out with me is a non-believer named Josh Milam. Ironic that a someone who doesn't believe in a God would act more Christian than those who believe? I learned a lot from Josh, mostly because him and I were in the same boat at the time, both with no father. We both hated our moms, and just wanted to break out, and be ourselves. I wanted nothing to do with anyone, except my buddy, and my girlfriend. Dreana VanScyoc. Good lord was she a bombshell. Brown hair, and a very nice hourglass figure. She wasn't the one I lost my virginity to, but she was my first serious relationship. We dated for two years, and contemplated marriage. Well, that went down the tubes when she cheated on me. After we broke up, she called me and said she was pregnant. I thought to myself, great, now I'm screwed. I spent the next couple weeks ****ed at myself, but also wondering how it happened, because I always pulled out when I had to. Either way, the parental tests came out negative. She miscarried anyway, so that was out of the way. In a way though, I was depressed. Some part of me actually was wanting to be a father, wanted to take that responsibility, but I shook it off. I spent my junior year indulging more, and putting more effort into working than my schoolwork. I don't know how many credits I got my junior year, but it wasn't much. I wasn't much, of anything. I was fat, a loser, and didn't care much else besides working and screwing. What was life worth? I was dating another girl that other guys dreamed of being with, and I still was empty, and didn't care about life. After I lost my job, I was thrown out of my dad's house, and that was another knife in the back. I was finished with life. I went back to Windsor, and found out that my mom registered me for another week of church camp at Little Galilee. I figured, why not? Well, I still never took much care for it, because I attempted suicide again. A chugged a fifth of Vodka, and blasted myself in the stomach with my hardest punch. I passed out onto my couch/bed. I woke up the next morning dissapointed, because I was told what I had just done was a sure-fire way to end my own life. I ended up going to camp, and in one week, everything changed for me. I was brought face to face with what I had become. I was a joke, and a shell of a human being. I had strayed so far from my goal that I didn't know there was a way back. Well, on a Wednesday night, Scott Ewing, Lynn Laughlin, Rex Young, and Mark Hepner spoke to me about what had happened, and that it was possible for me to change. The next day, I gave my life back to Christ, and there began a radical change. From then on, my life was completely different. The next morning, I woke up, and felt completely different. When I looked in the mirror, I saw that there was some facial hair there because I hadn't shaved all week, and I decided to keep it. From then on, there were outer changes that reflected the changes on the inside. I started to spike my hair, lose weight, and kept learning. Of course, these changes did seemingly have their price. I would have nightmares about past occurances. I would wake up in the morning with my hands shaking, and I was sweating profusely. It was because I was working my addictions out of my system, and that included sex. Good lord those were some hard times. During my senior year, I came face to face with many of my former "Christian" friends, and realized that their turning away had corrupted them, and it shocked me. But, after it shocked me, I realized that what happened to me was far worse, and I came back better than ever. It gave me hope for them. The rest of my time was spent with my nose in the books, because if I flunked one class, I couldn't graduate, and in Broadway Christian Church, where God lead me to lead the youth group that my cousin Gabe was in charge of. He's credited me with helping him greatly improve the group, and challenge them to become better Christians. God took, and continues to take, a broken boy, and forged him into a man of God. You see, God became my true father, and I know that He will never abandon me like my parents did. Now, my mom and I get along, and I'm learning from my father again. I've forgiven them, and they've forgiven me, even though they still don't grasp everything that I've done, but it really doesn't matter. You see, spiritually, I was dead, and then resurrected. We all have to go through a death to have new life. Yeah, we've got things to work on, but just work on them, and realize what you have to do to improve yourselves. I'm a hypocrite, but every Christian is one way or another. It's how we address our hypocrisy that shows who we truly are. I went through my funeral, and now I'm alive again. This is my life, but it's still going on, and I'm still learning. I was raised by the perfect father, and that's God himself. I'm a soldier in the army of God, and I'm fighting sin with every step I take. Every time I walk, every time I speak, and every time I even breathe, it's a sign of my retribution, because I've been given new life in Christ. Nowadays, I spend my time writing, doing my homework, and loving my amazing fiancee', who I am more than happy to have written this series with. God has truly blessed me, and I'm happy that he has done so much for me.

 

[Emmaleuk]

I've seen the worst of life, and life in the worst conditions, and been betrayed by almost everyone that I've trusted. My home life wasn't very good either when my Dad wasn't in the house, considering the fact that my mother had a really bad temper, which is probably where I picked mine up from. Imagine a crying child, shirtless, being whipped by his father's belt that's in his mother's hands, crying for daddy. That was me, on more than one occasion. I still may have scars from it, because I remember always taking bandages off of my back. She also lifted me off the ground by my throat once, choking me because I couldn't get a few words on a spelling quiz I was studying for in the first grade. When I went to take the test, I was too scared to lift the pencil. I was too scared to tell my dad too, but he found out later, because he put the pieces together. Of course, the divorce killed the trust I had for my father, so my entire high school years, I couldn't trust either parent. Not a good way for a troubled kid to be raised. I completely and totally gave up on my faith, and indulged myself in sins that I'm still reaping the aftershocks of. Binge drinking, smoking, and my personal "favorite", sex, became addictions for me. It's all I lived for, and I tried to end my life twice because I couldn't see a point to living anymore. The first time was in the bathroom of my old house, where I held a razor to my wrist, but my forearms started to twitch uncontrollably. I honestly don't remember anything after that, but I woke up in my bed the next morning, and screamed, "DAMMIT! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU KEEPING ME ALIVE YOU *******! LET ME DIE!" I swore that I would never give another soul to God that day forward, that I would never speak of Christians in a positive manner. Why should I? At that point, every friend of mine that was a Christian, or claimed to be, abandoned me when I most needed them. The only friend of mine that's stuck it out with me is a non-believer named Josh Milam. Ironic that a someone who doesn't believe in a God would act more Christian than those who believe? I learned a lot from Josh, mostly because him and I were in the same boat at the time, both with no father. We both hated our moms, and just wanted to break out, and be ourselves. I wanted nothing to do with anyone, except my buddy, and my girlfriend. Dreana VanScyoc. Good lord was she a bombshell. Brown hair, and a very nice hourglass figure. She wasn't the one I lost my virginity to, but she was my first serious relationship. We dated for two years, and contemplated marriage. Well, that went down the tubes when she cheated on me. After we broke up, she called me and said she was pregnant. I thought to myself, great, now I'm screwed. I spent the next couple weeks ****ed at myself, but also wondering how it happened, because I always pulled out when I had to. Either way, the parental tests came out negative. She miscarried anyway, so that was out of the way. In a way though, I was depressed. Some part of me actually was wanting to be a father, wanted to take that responsibility, but I shook it off. I spent my junior year indulging more, and putting more effort into working than my schoolwork. I don't know how many credits I got my junior year, but it wasn't much. I wasn't much, of anything. I was fat, a loser, and didn't care much else besides working and screwing. What was life worth? I was dating another girl that other guys dreamed of being with, and I still was empty, and didn't care about life. After I lost my job, I was thrown out of my dad's house, and that was another knife in the back. I was finished with life. I went back to Windsor, and found out that my mom registered me for another week of church camp at Little Galilee. I figured, why not? Well, I still never took much care for it, because I attempted suicide again. A chugged a fifth of Vodka, and blasted myself in the stomach with my hardest punch. I passed out onto my couch/bed. I woke up the next morning dissapointed, because I was told what I had just done was a sure-fire way to end my own life. I ended up going to camp, and in one week, everything changed for me. I was brought face to face with what I had become. I was a joke, and a shell of a human being. I had strayed so far from my goal that I didn't know there was a way back. Well, on a Wednesday night, Scott Ewing, Lynn Laughlin, Rex Young, and Mark Hepner spoke to me about what had happened, and that it was possible for me to change. The next day, I gave my life back to Christ, and there began a radical change. From then on, my life was completely different. The next morning, I woke up, and felt completely different. When I looked in the mirror, I saw that there was some facial hair there because I hadn't shaved all week, and I decided to keep it. From then on, there were outer changes that reflected the changes on the inside. I started to spike my hair, lose weight, and kept learning. Of course, these changes did seemingly have their price. I would have nightmares about past occurances. I would wake up in the morning with my hands shaking, and I was sweating profusely. It was because I was working my addictions out of my system, and that included sex. Good lord those were some hard times. During my senior year, I came face to face with many of my former "Christian" friends, and realized that their turning away had corrupted them, and it shocked me. But, after it shocked me, I realized that what happened to me was far worse, and I came back better than ever. It gave me hope for them. The rest of my time was spent with my nose in the books, because if I flunked one class, I couldn't graduate, and in Broadway Christian Church, where God lead me to lead the youth group that my cousin Gabe was in charge of. He's credited me with helping him greatly improve the group, and challenge them to become better Christians. God took, and continues to take, a broken boy, and forged him into a man of God. You see, God became my true father, and I know that He will never abandon me like my parents did. Now, my mom and I get along, and I'm learning from my father again. I've forgiven them, and they've forgiven me, even though they still don't grasp everything that I've done, but it really doesn't matter. You see, spiritually, I was dead, and then resurrected. We all have to go through a death to have new life. Yeah, we've got things to work on, but just work on them, and realize what you have to do to improve yourselves. I'm a hypocrite, but every Christian is one way or another. It's how we address our hypocrisy that shows who we truly are. I went through my funeral, and now I'm alive again. This is my life, but it's still going on, and I'm still learning. I was raised by the perfect father, and that's God himself. I'm a soldier in the army of God, and I'm fighting sin with every step I take. Every time I walk, every time I speak, and every time I even breathe, it's a sign of my retribution, because I've been given new life in Christ. Nowadays, I spend my time writing, doing my homework, and loving my amazing fiancee', who I am more than happy to have written this series with. God has truly blessed me, and I'm happy that he has done so much for me.

It is amazing how God can change a person isn't it. We serve a truely almighty God and we can never be thankful enough for the ultimate sacrifice that he made...for us! What are we? Filthy sinners, cleansed by the blood of the Lamb, cleaned because Jesus Christ came and died....wow.
You can never have a better father than God. Lets face it, he's always there, he will always listen, you can always depend on him. Not paternal father can always do that. Take great comfort in knowing that your father is there to guide you- always.
We must strive to become smoothe stones, but before we an do that, we have to have our rough edged cut away. This can be painful, and time consuming but the end result is fantastic!

May God bless you xxx

 

[bfly]

I've seen the worst of life, and life in the worst conditions, and been betrayed by almost everyone that I've trusted. My home life wasn't very good either when my Dad wasn't in the house, considering the fact that my mother had a really bad temper, which is probably where I picked mine up from. Imagine a crying child, shirtless, being whipped by his father's belt that's in his mother's hands, crying for daddy. That was me, on more than one occasion. I still may have scars from it, because I remember always taking bandages off of my back. She also lifted me off the ground by my throat once, choking me because I couldn't get a few words on a spelling quiz I was studying for in the first grade. When I went to take the test, I was too scared to lift the pencil. I was too scared to tell my dad too, but he found out later, because he put the pieces together. Of course, the divorce killed the trust I had for my father, so my entire high school years, I couldn't trust either parent. Not a good way for a troubled kid to be raised. I completely and totally gave up on my faith, and indulged myself in sins that I'm still reaping the aftershocks of. Binge drinking, smoking, and my personal "favorite", sex, became addictions for me. It's all I lived for, and I tried to end my life twice because I couldn't see a point to living anymore. The first time was in the bathroom of my old house, where I held a razor to my wrist, but my forearms started to twitch uncontrollably. I honestly don't remember anything after that, but I woke up in my bed the next morning, and screamed, "DAMMIT! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU KEEPING ME ALIVE YOU *******! LET ME DIE!" I swore that I would never give another soul to God that day forward, that I would never speak of Christians in a positive manner. Why should I? At that point, every friend of mine that was a Christian, or claimed to be, abandoned me when I most needed them. The only friend of mine that's stuck it out with me is a non-believer named Josh Milam. Ironic that a someone who doesn't believe in a God would act more Christian than those who believe? I learned a lot from Josh, mostly because him and I were in the same boat at the time, both with no father. We both hated our moms, and just wanted to break out, and be ourselves. I wanted nothing to do with anyone, except my buddy, and my girlfriend. Dreana VanScyoc. Good lord was she a bombshell. Brown hair, and a very nice hourglass figure. She wasn't the one I lost my virginity to, but she was my first serious relationship. We dated for two years, and contemplated marriage. Well, that went down the tubes when she cheated on me. After we broke up, she called me and said she was pregnant. I thought to myself, great, now I'm screwed. I spent the next couple weeks ****ed at myself, but also wondering how it happened, because I always pulled out when I had to. Either way, the parental tests came out negative. She miscarried anyway, so that was out of the way. In a way though, I was depressed. Some part of me actually was wanting to be a father, wanted to take that responsibility, but I shook it off. I spent my junior year indulging more, and putting more effort into working than my schoolwork. I don't know how many credits I got my junior year, but it wasn't much. I wasn't much, of anything. I was fat, a loser, and didn't care much else besides working and screwing. What was life worth? I was dating another girl that other guys dreamed of being with, and I still was empty, and didn't care about life. After I lost my job, I was thrown out of my dad's house, and that was another knife in the back. I was finished with life. I went back to Windsor, and found out that my mom registered me for another week of church camp at Little Galilee. I figured, why not? Well, I still never took much care for it, because I attempted suicide again. A chugged a fifth of Vodka, and blasted myself in the stomach with my hardest punch. I passed out onto my couch/bed. I woke up the next morning dissapointed, because I was told what I had just done was a sure-fire way to end my own life. I ended up going to camp, and in one week, everything changed for me. I was brought face to face with what I had become. I was a joke, and a shell of a human being. I had strayed so far from my goal that I didn't know there was a way back. Well, on a Wednesday night, Scott Ewing, Lynn Laughlin, Rex Young, and Mark Hepner spoke to me about what had happened, and that it was possible for me to change. The next day, I gave my life back to Christ, and there began a radical change. From then on, my life was completely different. The next morning, I woke up, and felt completely different. When I looked in the mirror, I saw that there was some facial hair there because I hadn't shaved all week, and I decided to keep it. From then on, there were outer changes that reflected the changes on the inside. I started to spike my hair, lose weight, and kept learning. Of course, these changes did seemingly have their price. I would have nightmares about past occurances. I would wake up in the morning with my hands shaking, and I was sweating profusely. It was because I was working my addictions out of my system, and that included sex. Good lord those were some hard times. During my senior year, I came face to face with many of my former "Christian" friends, and realized that their turning away had corrupted them, and it shocked me. But, after it shocked me, I realized that what happened to me was far worse, and I came back better than ever. It gave me hope for them. The rest of my time was spent with my nose in the books, because if I flunked one class, I couldn't graduate, and in Broadway Christian Church, where God lead me to lead the youth group that my cousin Gabe was in charge of. He's credited me with helping him greatly improve the group, and challenge them to become better Christians. God took, and continues to take, a broken boy, and forged him into a man of God. You see, God became my true father, and I know that He will never abandon me like my parents did. Now, my mom and I get along, and I'm learning from my father again. I've forgiven them, and they've forgiven me, even though they still don't grasp everything that I've done, but it really doesn't matter. You see, spiritually, I was dead, and then resurrected. We all have to go through a death to have new life. Yeah, we've got things to work on, but just work on them, and realize what you have to do to improve yourselves. I'm a hypocrite, but every Christian is one way or another. It's how we address our hypocrisy that shows who we truly are. I went through my funeral, and now I'm alive again. This is my life, but it's still going on, and I'm still learning. I was raised by the perfect father, and that's God himself. I'm a soldier in the army of God, and I'm fighting sin with every step I take. Every time I walk, every time I speak, and every time I even breathe, it's a sign of my retribution, because I've been given new life in Christ. Nowadays, I spend my time writing, doing my homework, and loving my amazing fiancee', who I am more than happy to have written this series with. God has truly blessed me, and I'm happy that he has done so much for me.

You have been through a lot, but you are proof God won't give up on us even when we give up on ourselves. May you continue your walk with God and may he keep you close to Him. God bless you.

 

[mom_one]

what a sad story with a great ending , God is so wonderful I am so glad we have a loving God & isn't it wonderful how he can change us? what is impossible with man is not with God. he will make a way where we see no way .it is wonderful being called Gods child. . may God bless you