My ds (age 6) is really sad these days. He cries at the drop of a hat, and seems to over react to everything. I just have to look at him the wrong way and he bursts into tears. Any advice on this one? 
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My son seems so sad...
- Thread starter NancyMomof2
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pmcleanj
Lord Jesus, have mercy on me, a sinner
Sometimes this happens because his nervous system is preparing for the next growth spurt. A lot of new sensory signals are coming in to his brain, and he is learning to process them, which is stressful. I find that my children will become clumsy and over-sensitive for a couple months, and then suddenly shoot up a couple inches. They get muscle cramps, too, when the growth-spurt starts, and the persistent pain makes them sensitive too.NancyMomof2 said:My ds (age 6) is really sad these days. He cries at the drop of a hat, and seems to over react to everything. I just have to look at him the wrong way and he bursts into tears. Any advice on this one?
Our physiotherapist recommended plenty of whole milk (the fat in it helps in neural development and the calcium eases the muscle cramps, and the vitamen D enrichment helps prevent rickets), and supplementary liquid calcium for the cramps. And she showed me how to massage the muscles to ease the cramps.
Apart from that, I give lots of extra cuddles and schedule some soothing alone time to just talk (mostly her talking and me listening). We had one bad stretch where the tears went on for about eight months. At that point we resorted to a play therapist who showed us how to set up play situations that would facilitate talking through the stressors. We only had to use the techniques we learned a couple of times.
Milk and cookies, cuddles and listening ... that makes me feel better when I feel like bursting into tears, too! I hope your baby cheers up soon.
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pmcleanj
Lord Jesus, have mercy on me, a sinner
Good point! One of mine used to suffer tremendously from transitional stress. We addressed it by putting her in a very small school where she had the same teacher for several years in a row, and where the children wren't particularly divided by grade so that the grade-to-grade transition was minimized. And we were lucky enough that the same teacher ran summer out-of-school care out of the same school building. Minimizing the breaking-and-reforming of relationships that is so much a part of traditional schooling, gave our daughter the confidence to go on. She's much less traumatized by changes now, in fact she's a very confident young woman. I think giving her extra stability early on helped her find her confidence.Why? said:
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Wow, I feel so much better since reading your advice. We moved a few months back and I think he may be having both a growth spurt and going through transitional stress. Thanks for making me feel like what I am going through is normal.
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Emotions that are stong for us can be just overwhelming for kids!! Some frustration, or dissapointment or sadness for us is n=manageable, but these emotions can bowl a little guy over.
Something that helps kids is to help give them language for their experiences. Language can serve as a way to organize and think about emotions. You need to guess what he may be feeling and vocalize it for him in ways thaat he cannot yet do... "If I understand, you are very upset that it is bedtime now. Today has been so much fun! You had lots of time with Dad and helped wash the car and we had berry pie for dessert. It has been a really great day! And now you are sad that all of that fun is coming to an end and it's time for bed." Your words can give voice to what he is feeling. Plus, if you get it right, he will feel really understood. This technique is detailed in the book "Between Parent and Child" and
How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk.
Something that helps kids is to help give them language for their experiences. Language can serve as a way to organize and think about emotions. You need to guess what he may be feeling and vocalize it for him in ways thaat he cannot yet do... "If I understand, you are very upset that it is bedtime now. Today has been so much fun! You had lots of time with Dad and helped wash the car and we had berry pie for dessert. It has been a really great day! And now you are sad that all of that fun is coming to an end and it's time for bed." Your words can give voice to what he is feeling. Plus, if you get it right, he will feel really understood. This technique is detailed in the book "Between Parent and Child" and
How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk.
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Has he ever had his eyes checked? I know it sounds like a strange question, but I can still remember the terrible time we had with our son when he was younger. His behaviour was way off; tantrums, overreaction to changes in routine etc, and he was clearly different to our other 2 children - and it wasn't until he started school and had the kindergarten health screening that they discovered he had a 'lazy eye'. And suddenly all these mental flashbacks came to mind - his hesitancy when going downstairs (3D vision is off with lazy eye).........still having trouble catching a ball.... squinting one eye closed when looking intently at things......little things that had we been aware of this possibility we might have noticed sooner.NancyMomof2 said:My ds (age 6) is really sad these days. He cries at the drop of a hat, and seems to over react to everything. I just have to look at him the wrong way and he bursts into tears. Any advice on this one?
Really it could be anything - and the moving thing fits well, I just wanted to put this out there as something else to consider - for anyone with a young child.
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Mrs. Enigma
Transformers was awesome!!!!
my 5 yr. old cries easily if he has not been getting enough sleep. Has he beeen staying up late, getting up early, or lying aqwake in bed for long periods after you put him down? Have you been really physically active lately?
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Entertaining_Angels
Well-Known Member
NancyMomof2 said:Wow, I feel so much better since reading your advice. We moved a few months back and I think he may be having both a growth spurt and going through transitional stress. Thanks for making me feel like what I am going through is normal.
We went through this twice. The first time was when we moved and the next time when hubby had to go away with the military for quite awhile.
Another thing to consider, although it may not apply, children whose parents fight alot (i.e. yell at each other) tend to do this, especially the ones who have more 'sensitive hearts' and often first borns (I think they feel the burden more).
However, if you've just moved, I think you have your answer. What worked for us was getting my son on a set schedule. He needed the familiarity. Also, if he doesn't have friends yet, get him out to the park or other places where he can play with other kids.
Please keep us updated on how he does.
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Yep... I agree... it's probably due to stress from the move. And at this age kids are changing...( as they are all the time )
Our daughter changed and turned very sad when she was 5 and we moved house... and I found a point chart of stress levels we adults can cope with due to events in year and she had had over three times the levels of stress factors that can lead an adut to suffer stress or breakdown.
I've seen the same in kids who's parents divorce, or work long shifts meaning and use a lot of different people for childcare... etc... kids are like us.. these things are all hard to cope with... and more so because they are not in control of their life.
People here have given a lot of aspects to consider... and if you can home in on exactly what the cause of this is you will be more relxed and more able to relax your child.
Our daughter changed and turned very sad when she was 5 and we moved house... and I found a point chart of stress levels we adults can cope with due to events in year and she had had over three times the levels of stress factors that can lead an adut to suffer stress or breakdown.
I've seen the same in kids who's parents divorce, or work long shifts meaning and use a lot of different people for childcare... etc... kids are like us.. these things are all hard to cope with... and more so because they are not in control of their life.
People here have given a lot of aspects to consider... and if you can home in on exactly what the cause of this is you will be more relxed and more able to relax your child.
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